hippychick11 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Well basically my mother keeps interferring with my relationship with my boyfriend and I really think it will break us up. I won't go into it too much but we met on a gaming site and have had an online relationship until we finally met for the first time this year, he lives in another country and I got to visited him, it was amazing and I love him alot. My family didn't know that I was meeting him and when I came back there was all this drama with my family basically saying how sick and disgusting it was etc that why would I want to be with someone who I'd never met and give away my purity (which wasn't even true but she can believe what she wants). I am 25 years old and I am so sick of her getting involved in my business! Shes gone through my room searching for evidence, looking on my mobile for messages and found my diary. This is where it's all just gone way too far and I can't even stop it - She wants to email my boyfriend and tell him that I'm basically a social reject, I don't go out and don't have any friends. She's also warning him that I might be obsessed with him!! This is not true at all! I know this because I went on her computer and found this draft email and was horrified! What can I do about this? every time we have a fight she threatens to send my boyfriend this email detailing my past relationships with people and that I'm dominating and pushy etc! It upsets me because that isn't me AT ALL, I spent a month in person with this guy and he knows who I am but when he gets this email I really think it will scare him off and he won't want to be with me anymore. My mother has no right to do this but I think she might, what should I do? Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 You're 25. You are an adult. You're mother has no right and no business to be policing your Life. I think you really need to lay out some boundries. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Are you financially able to move out on your own? That aside, I would definitely change my computer password, and keep my cell phone locked. Link to comment
hippychick11 Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 I want to move out, I know I can in a couple of months but in the meantime, this won't stop her from harassing my boyfriend and sending him all these emails about what a horrible person I really am. All he knows is what I've told him so to get this email from her I know would make him think twice about me Sure I don't have much of a social life, I'm very shy and it's embarrassing but I don't see why she wants to tell him this. Her reasoning is that she's worried about me, she doen't understand though though that this guy helps make me so happy and I'm not shy and introverted when I'm around him. Link to comment
inkscarred Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 First of all, I think you need to tell your mom that you understand her concerns, that you agree that it's not a conventional relationship, and that you understand the risks involved. Secondly, you need to tell her that the way she is expressing herself is totally inappropriate, and remind her that she hasn't considered the potential for this guy being "the one", or that her behaviour might break up the family rather than you two. Thirdly, computer security is important. If your mom can get in, then anyone can, and professional thieves can do it in seconds. Being secure will set you up for life, and will prevent things like this happening in future. In this situation you didn't get the opportunity to sit down and tell your mom what was happening - she found out on her own and felt like you were hiding it. Keeping a secret allows you to tell her when it's the right time. So lock that computer, and lock that phone Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I want to move out, I know I can in a couple of months but in the meantime, this won't stop her from harassing my boyfriend and sending him all these emails about what a horrible person I really am. All he knows is what I've told him so to get this email from her I know would make him think twice about me Sure I don't have much of a social life, I'm very shy and it's embarrassing but I don't see why she wants to tell him this. Her reasoning is that she's worried about me, she doen't understand though though that this guy helps make me so happy and I'm not shy and introverted when I'm around him. You're Kind of in a bit of a situation- Legally depending on where you live there may be something you can do (i believe you being an adult this would legally qualify as harassment?) but I would advise you to be cautois about going down that road with family. Best thing i can tell you is to be firm with your mother and Make it clear that you will NOT tolerate this, and that if she wants to be part of your life she has to respect you as an adult and respect your boundries. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I want to move out, I know I can in a couple of months What is stopping you from moving out right now? I agree with those who say that there are security measures you can take for cell phones and computers. But honestly, you are 25, and obviously shouldn't be living in this unhealthy situation. At the least you could find a short-term living situation until your permanent one comes through. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Hippy - isn't this the guy who met online three years ago, flew from Australia to meet him in the US, and he told you he could only meet you for coffee for about an hour? Honestly - if I were your Mom, I'd be seriously concerned as well. I'm sure she'd rather see you date a guy in real life, and not be hung up on a guy who lives 6k miles away. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.