VictorVic Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 8 days, congrats so far. Still some time to go but that first few days is the worst....so good for you getting that out of the way. Now you are on to the up and downs part of the healing. It will get easier, it just will. We all know deep down life will be happy again, its just the waiting for that time which is unbearable sometimes. I am sure you, and I, and 912 will all find someone again who will make us happy and "actually " want us.....I would say we all deserve someone who wants us as much as we want them. Stay busy. Just do something, anything. Make yoursefl better. When I started no contact 7 weeks ago this was all the advice I got but the energy and motivation wasn't there. Now I am much different. I get to the gym, go out whenever I can, hang with friends, try and make myself better so the next girl that comes around in my life will notice my changes, notice my confidence, notice me. Moping around is fine, but eventually you have to make the best out of the worst situation. I couldn't eat for a while but now I have gotten myself to about 50/50 on being up instead of down.....Thats much better then the 100 percent down I felt all the time 2 months ago. Maybe in 2 more months it will be 80/20 and eventually just happy to be free. Also, from the sounds of your relationship, I feel like you could find someone much better. Take him off the pedastal and go get someone who deserves you and will treat you like the way you treat them. Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Well today has come to an end....and I am really and truly sad....I am in bed wishing I had him next to me to just hold me and kiss me goodnight....tell me he loves me.....I just want those feelings again and know that it will never be with him again..... I really loved this man and he threw me away.... Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Day 9 and I am just here if that makes any sense....I am just going through the motions....really have no emotion of how I feel about anything right now.....He is on my mind again....wondering if he has even thought about me once or if he even wonders how I am doing.... This is so hard....It really is.....I am going to stay strong and do what I need to day after day to get to where I need to be, but I really wanted him to be here with me on this path....no such luck....... Link to comment
fifregister Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 How are you feeling today? Studies have shown that people who keep journals or write down their thoughts recover from life challenges faster and are happier when they come out of these events. Once you begin to write down your thoughts, you will see that it repeats over and over. Just let it all out. Feelings stay in our bodies for a period of time and decrease in intensity. It's the magic of time and healing. Please have faith that it will go away. Just be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve for this person. You had a connection and he was a big part of your life for a long time. It truly hurts, and will hurt for some time, but recovery is definite. Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 fif: I am feeling really low...I think the lowest I have felt yet...I cant seem to keep track of how my emotions are....they are all over the place.... As for writing down everything, that is what I doing here...I have decided that I am going to make this my journal of feelings.....I am going to come on here and write how I am feeling everyday so I can get it out instead of keeping it all bottled up... thank you for your post... Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 can I join in? I think this is the worst day by far, two months since I last saw him and is not getting any better. Need to go out and meet new people Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 dol: Sure you can join in also... come here and write down your feelings everyday....they say that writing it down makes you feel better..... Hugs to you! Link to comment
carrie8484 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 why does he not miss what we had? my weekends are empty now Im scared of weekends, I dread them coming around, it used to be 'our time' we've only been broken up for 2 weeks but I know he will never come back. He gave me excuses about money but all he really wants is to see if the grass is greener. I found out on fb he's moved in with his newly single friend. This is AFTER telling me he didnt break up with me because I was making him unhappy, it was having to support me financially with my flat as well as pay his own bills (car etc) I know this was a lie now he just wanted the single life he'll be having a house party this weekend at his new place i'll be lying in bed wondering why the hell I let this happen Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 carrie: I completely understand how you are feeling....I wonder the same thing about my ex.....I wonder if he even misses anything about us....but we have to move on from that....they left us for something they believe to be better.....my saying that I keep repeating to myself over and over again is that "We were individuals before our ex's and we can be that way again, just BETTER!" I completely believe that I can get myself back to where I was, it is just a long, hard and yes painful road of realizing these people we loved just turned their backs on us and walked away... It will get better, just stay strong, that is what I am doing daily and writing about how I feel everyday so I can get it all out.... Hugs to you!! Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I feel the same Carrie, Saturdays are the worse. I sometimes think that when I can't stop thinking about him might be because he is thinking about me too... crazy I know. The guy hates me, I will hate me if I had a mental person after me. Actually I am not crazy, just wanted to fight for this person so bad, now I am left empty. I have a feeling he is back with his wife (he was not seeing her when we were together, or I hope he was not) and he never stopped loving her, I was only his way to try to fix things with her, she hurt him and he wanted to hurt her by being with someone else... and that person was me. The thing is I never been in love before, neither I want to try again. I just feel like I will end up playing with anyone from now on. Going out tonight and don't even imagine being romantic with anyone else, I can't break a marriage and hope my ex is happy but how will I fix myself I have not idea. Let's stay strong together girls x Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 dolorosa: My ex is exactly the same as yours....that is I believe he is back with his wife and he never really stopped loving her even though he kept telling me that he didn't love her anymore when we were together...and she hurt him so I guess I was his way of getting back at his wife also.....I honestly don't know how I will ever trust another man again.....he truly hurt me and broke me.... We will get through this..... Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Sadandalone, I just can't believe someone can tell you stuff and feel something else. I will never cheat on anyone, I have been cheated on by my ex husband (different guy) and would never consider going back to him. This guy forgave his ex and I know he loves her, I never thought I was the rebound girl, all along I believe he was truly in love with me but you never know anyone 100 %. Are you still in contact with him? I will never break a marriage, and maybe the best for him and his son, just wish I was not the one hurting. Anytime you want to chat, I will try to get more help here... perhaps go to counselling and just get on with my life. We will get through xx Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 dolorosa, I know what you mean...I can't believe he did what he did either....it just makes no sense....honestly I am wondering if our ex's arent the same man because he also has a son with his wife... As for being in touch with him no I am not....I am staying strictly NC....I need to heal this time Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 You scaring me, are you in the UK? I could not possible believe he could date more than one girl, but as I said you never know someone 100%. How long were you together? Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 No, I am not in the UK, and I was really wondering also....but like you said you never know someone 100%....and me and him were together going on 3 1/2 years.... So luckily we weren't dating the same man.... Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 well my story i think is well known.. because i have vented about it non stop on here... ugh what can you do... i mean really, what can you do? i personally have come to the point where im glad shes gone... i certainly deserve a woman with dignity, integrity, class and a conscience.. i feel like i should get this guys address and send him some omaha steaks, with a note saying thanks for the favor! have a nice dinner on me. Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 hahahahaha Love it nsomnia, I don't know your story but I love the way you taking it. We all should be with the person we deserve, I think my ex deserve to be with his wife. Thanks for making me laugh Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 I agree also, but not only should we be with the person we deserve, but the person that deserves us!! We will all come out of this stronger and better for whatever life has in store for us!! Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 No, I am not in the UK, and I was really wondering also....but like you said you never know someone 100%....and me and him were together going on 3 1/2 years.... So luckily we weren't dating the same man.... I am glad.... that would kill me Link to comment
ChellyV Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 (((HUGS))) been there done that. allow yourself to grieve. is it like this everyday? because i strongly believe you and only you can make changes and be optimistic. sadly, there are people who can just simply walk away from a healthy relationship just like that. we have to accept that. and that is one of the risks we take when going into a relationship. days like this, go out take a walk. keep yourself busy if you can. clean your bedroom. or experiment make up combinations on your face. call your friends and reach out. maybe they have problems too and they need us, sort of paradigm shift. do not allow bitterness in your heart. remember, when one door closes, another one opens. Link to comment
Nick Lansing Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Hang in there. I had these same feelings but it is getting slightly better (almost a month from the breakup). STill hurts a ton, but I've been here before and it does get better. And by the way, it's not surprisingto me you haven't heard from him at this point. My last time being dumped, my ex cut me dead for aout three months, then I heard frm her out of the blue and we reconciled. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. This is no reflection on your worth as a person. Remember how Prince Charles did Diana, you know? God only knows the real reasons he did this. Be proud that you have a noble and loving spirit, that you're able to feel things this deeply. You'll get through this and liv to love another day -- whther it be him or someone better. Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 I still honestly hope that I hear from him sometime down the road....we got along so well....i could never have cut him out of my life at all....never.....I don't understand how people can even think about doing that without at least saying they never want to talk to you again.....I mean if he would have said I will never ever speak to you again, then maybe it would be easier, but he didn't...he just disappeared, changed his number and everything Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I am so down tonight...just need some encouraging words to help me get through this weekend....really really really feel like I am worthless.... Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I did the dumbest thing...drank tonight....and now I am missing him more than ever...and cant do anything about it.....can't contact him....just sit here and cry missing him.....I want him back so bad even though I know he isn't any good for me..... Please let me just wake up tomorrow forgetting everything about him... PLEASE!!!!! Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I really and truly want him to miss me....I know it is the wrong thing for me.....but I feel so useless and unwanted..... Sorry but I am truly and completely miserable.... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.