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I can't do this anymore

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I am so tired of hurting over someone that obviously doesn't care about me....he threw me away and disappeared from my life like I was a piece of garbage....


I am so much better than this, just can't seem to get out of this poor pity me stage.........I am a strong woman that CAN take care of myself, just hate being alone and with nobody in my life to care about me...nobody to talk to when I have bad times.....nobody next to me when I go to sleep or wake up in the morning.....


I just want to say I know I can take care of myself and be by myself and support myself.....I just really don't want to.....I am a very loving and caring person and have so much to give someone....


I'm scared i will never find that person that feels the same about me...

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I know what you mean. Break-ups are tough... (going through one myself - it happened a week ago). The hardest part is that he doesn't even want to speak to me right now or have any contact... and thats hard cuz we were together for a year and a half. The break-up came as a big shock to me. However, I'm surprised with myself and how strong I am being.


I guess, a week ago, I said to myself, I could either sit around crying and moping about this, or, I could give it my best to make each day in my life count and keep a positive spirit. Just changing this mindset, has actually helped me feel happy. And I feel so at peace. Another thing is that this is out of my control, so there is no sense worrying about something that I cannot control.


As far as the future goes, don't waste your time worrying about it. There are A LOT of men out there! (and a lot of jerks too, unfortunately). But you need to be #1 in your own life and take care of you. That way when you are ready to enter into a relationship it will be a healthy one because you will know who you are and you will be ready.


I hope you feel better soon. Do your best to get out of bed and go spend time with friends. Do whatever it is that is going to make you happy.

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The way you're feeling is completely normal. Take comfort in the fact that you aren't alone. This is a devastating process, and you will go through a whirlwind of emotions for a long time. I think you should consider talking to someone. This guy wasn't the only one out there....it just seems that way for the time being. Work on getting strong, being happy, and feeling good about yourself. Someone will come along when the timing is right. Noone has sentenced you to a lifetime of loneliness, but you have to be in a position where you can open yourself up to next person in a healthy way. Reach out to friends and family.... this guy doesn't deserve you if he's making you feel this way. You HAVE TO believe that.

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Thank you for the replies...but I am so down right now that nothing is registering with me....this hurts to much.....I have never felt this bad about a break up before.....how can he have such a deep hold on me.....i mean honestly if he was not the one.........I have never in my life felt this way about anyone......i feel connected to him....in a way i have never felt before....this hurts way to bad......

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Well again I am up this morning thinking of him and wanting everything to go back to how it was when I had him in my life.....Why do we want someone that we clearly know if no good for us....how can this be....I want to be happy again, I just honestly don't know how to be right now..


Good thing I guess is that I am forced to do the NC thing since he has completely blocked me from his life.....and that hurts even more knowing he has done that.....

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Well I am going to go to a doctor and see about depression medication....this is to much for me to do alone.....I really am having a hard time with this BU....never have I felt this way and I know I need help...NC is really hurting me....I just want to hear his voice and wonder if I ever will again.....

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Day 5 of NC, and now it really hurts because he hasn't contacted me either....guess I really mean nothing to him now after 3 1/2 years.....


I know everyone says the pain goes away, but I never truly knew it would hurt this bad right now....I really don't have any desire to do anything...I am here at work and don't want to be here, I would rather be in bed crying my heart out....


I hate this feeling!!!!

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I am a very loving and caring person and have so much to give someone....


I'm scared i will never find that person that feels the same about me...



I have identical feelings. A giant emptiness in my stomach.


in fact after reading all the posts, i realize i feel EXACTLY the same as you. Unless I'm intensely occupied with something my mind drift to her and it feels like a punch in the gut every time. At least it gives me comfort (and hopefully you also) knowing that the feeling are normal. If people say they go away, we must have faith they will. Even though right now it feels like all I want to do die.

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You are not alone in your feelings.


One month of break up, two weeks of no contact.


I'm not sleeping or eating.


I have to accept it's over.


I have to realize he'll never email.


Once I begin to accept the finality of it, I think I can move on.


I'm caught being 'hopeful' he'll email, but deep downside knowing he will not.


I set myself up for unhappiness when I check email, no contact from him.

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Here it is Day 6 and I still feel the same....hurt, anxious, sad, crying, lonely, etc. etc. etc.


I really don't know what to do anymore...the mornings are the worst......


We had a really bad storm last night and I woke up looking for him for comfort and he wasn't there....so I cried for 2 hours before I could get back to sleep, I then woke up this morning with him on my mind once again....


Please when does this get better....it really hurts to know someone that I love more than anything just threw me away and disappeared without a trace....

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I feel the exact same. EXACTLY the same. I wish I had an answer to how you are feeling, because I too, wonder when I can just cast this ex permanently out of my mind. The pain is unbearable, and just like you, I'm afraid that I'm gonna continue to grieve like this forever. She's exiled me completely out of her life just like your ex is doing to you too. As if I'm the plague or something. Coming from the woman who could tell me she wouldn't do such a thing to me...We are literally in the same position.


Like many have said, you are not alone. You are not the only person whose going through this. I feel like the heartbroken need to support each other. Just know that because you did in fact "Love" and tried is a comforting thing. You gave this person your love, and they walked away. They rejected us. It hurts. The acceptance phase has passed, but now me and you are wishing for a remedy for the pain.

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Thank you for your replay soru.....It just gets harder and harder every day to accept that he has completely shut me out of his life when we talked all the time about everything and when we were together things were great.... I mean yes we had our arguments, but we would always work through everything and now he has just walked away.


I don't know how to feel today honestly...I feel completely numb and lost.....my thoughts are all over the place......

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Yeah, I know. Sleep is hell. Waking up every several hours from some dream I had about her makes this crap even harder to deal with. Some days are a bit easier for me than most, but overall I feel completely numb and lost, and scatter brained. I try to make sense of it. But it just doesn't make any to me. When a relationship was definitely more good than bad, and they just walk out of it due to a lack of interest, it hurts.


I did everything for the girl. And she loved me and appreciated me for it. But as time passed, she completely and totally took me for granted. She always chose her friends over me. She never had time for me anymore. She wouldn't return her affection most of the time, and she always seemed in a different place mentally whenever we were together. People will say to me that I was to blame for being "too nice" and "loving"? No. i don't believe that garbage. It is her for not knowing that theres a good and loving person right in front of her face who actually cares. Ditching me to go smoke weed is definitely justifiable right? Attempting to phone call her without her picking up, and getting a text response saying "I'm with people." is justified because I handled our relationship wrong you say? No, it sounds like a totally selfish and frigid person in my eyes.


I don't know if your ex did hurtful things to you, but if so, i'd use those as ammunition to shoot them off that pedestal.

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Day 7, an actual week.....I have never gone this long without talking to him or hearing from him.....I just want the up and down emotions to stabilize and just be I don't know something....I got up and cried again for someone that has gone and is now I guess pretending I no longer exist on this planet....


I am sorry to be so down all the time, but I am really and truly hurting and just need to get this out....I am going to make this my daily routine for a little while so I can get out my feelings first thing in the morning and then maybe have a decent day....


This is seriously a really hard thing to get over.....and I am so upset that me knowing how strong I am that I have let someone completely take hold of me and my emotions...especially when he threw me away and walked away from me without even a goodbye.....


I will never understand how he could do that or if he even cares about what he has done.........

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Don't feel like you need to apologize for feeling the way you do. We're all here because we're going through the same thing in one way or another. You're not the only person going through this, and even those of us who seem like we're doing well are sometimes just a step away from crashing back down again. You post on here because you need to, and the rest of us do the same. It is hard to get over, I'm still struggling with it myself. I had a really bad day yesterday, even though I was on my third week of complete NC and am nearly 3 months post-breakup. Yet I crashed so hard yesterday, it was like the breakup had just happened the day before.


She decided she no longer wanted to live with me, and then when she found out she was pregnant, chose to have the abortion without even talking with me about it, and then a week later just told me it wasn't working out, packed her bags and walked out on me. And despite all that, I still miss her, and wish she was still in my life. Like you, I can't believe how I let someone have such a huge impact on my life and my emotions.


My point is, you are far from being the only person to feel as bad as you do. You feel bad enough about the breakup, don't feel bad about how you're feeling or about sharing your hurt with us. That's why we're here, to support one another. And don't ever apologize for feeling down... You feel how you feel, and if you're feeling down, we'll do our best to cheer you up.

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I am having a really tough day today.....I feel like I have hit rock bottom......I am at work and can't even seem to function.....WHY did he do this, why did he just disappear?


All the thoughts of him being with someone else, being happy with her, doing what we used to do....are all flooding my head today.....it is making me physically ill....

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I got medicine from the doctor Friday, been taking it how I am supposed to but I am so depressed that I don't care about anything right now.....I just want to curl up and sleep for a long long time...hopefully until I can make sense of this all.......sad thing is that isn't an option because I have bills I have to pay, so I am just going through the motions of being a person when I completely feel like garbage.....like he made me feel.....


I hate feeling this way, I just honestly don't know how to get out of feeling like this...I know he is not the end all of my existence, but I truly and honestly loved this man with everything I am and completely believed in him and what he said we would and could be.....

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Well Day 8 is here....and I again woke up to thinking about him.....but I haven't cried about him today.....I am no where near over hurting, I guess I am just tired of hurting so I am more numb today than anything....I have waves of anger, then waves of guilt for being angry, then waves of just raw emotion, but no tears.....I don't know what that means...


I keep thinking...it has been two weeks since the last time I actually saw him face to face and now 8 days since I have had any contact whatsoever.....I still don't truly understand what happened.


I do know that I am free of the crap that he put me through day after day wondering what he was doing while I was at work, and the days of going home and him sleeping and then the only time I spent with him was taking him to work that night, and him eating the food in my house, never cleaning up after himself, never really doing anything except using me as his hotel and not really paying the bill for it.....


I was used and allowed it to happen....I am not like that....I let him completely use me because I loved him so much and tried to do what I thought he wanted to keep him around...how stupid this all sounds when I write it all down...


Well sorry for the rant, that just all came to the surface and I had to write it down...

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We can do this! And we will! I'm getting ready...I'm going to treat myself to the casino today....haven't gone in 3 years....she would hate it...now I'm going!!!!


8 days! I'm so proud of you...I know its been hard on you...I know you have suffered... And you got up and dusted yourself off...and now on your own feet! You are doing great! And you will continue to do great!

* hugs to start the day* and smiles to end it!


We were individuals before our exs...we can be that again...


Thank you for that!



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Wow talk about crashing back down.. Its been almost a whole year since my ex left me and everything just hit me real hard this past week. It was my mother's bday and as I was looking around watching my family members happy, and in love, it reminded me how I too was in that same position a year ago with someone who I thought was gonna be "The One" (We were together for 7 years) but I guess not..


I just broke down and started crying and I couldnt stop, just remembering all the good times we had, how we had so much in common, how we were pretty much inseparable throughout all these years. I remember people would always ask us how we did it, how did we have such strong emotions for each other after all these years and it was easy, I just loved her and accepted her for everything that she was, but I guess love sometimes isnt enough.. Ever since the BU she blocked me everywhere and essentially removed me from her life all together. Its really sad how someone you were so close with for all these years can just drop you like a rag and move on..


So dont worry OP you're not alone in this, just know that it does get better with time, you're still very fresh out of the BU and I can promise you it does get better, its not easy at all, but still possible, hang in there

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