sadandalone Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Day 14, I still don't feel any better.....I have my ups and downs, but the downs seem to outweigh the ups.....I have read so much about breakups and still don't feel any better about this man just leaving my life, and disappearing after he promised me he would never ever ever disappear from my life. That he would always be there even if it was just as friends..... I am so down today, I don't even want to function....I am at work and really would rather be in bed under the covers crying my emotions out.....when does it get better????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 I'm calling it a night....am tired, but my brain wont shut down from thinking about him....about just being with him and what I am missing.....I am lonely and sad about what could have been....its not right... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Day 15, and I woke up this morning thinking about him, but then I just finally decided he is not worth anything I have to offer anymore....he lost his chance for me to even care about him anymore....I am done crying for someone that just walked out of my life and disappeared.....I hope I can keep this attitude and make my life better... I am going to get over this and move on......I deserve happiness!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 You are so lucky to be feeling that way. I guess I have a long way to go. I'm still feeling empty and that sliver of hope is still lingering. I'm still so deeply in love with him. I posted this on another thread but gonna mention it here, too. I have to be in love to enjoy sex. I'm terrified of not being able to want another man to touch me. I have no idea why that's one of the things that's scaring the heck out of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Shal...I know exactly what you mean....I feel the same way...I have to be in love for the sex also....can't do the fwb thing or one night stands....and yes it does scare me that I won't be able to be with anyone else, but I have to realize the man I loved is no longer here for me, so I have to be the one to make the changes and learn to love myself and once I can be like that maybe I will find someone else that will see that I am strong and independent and able to love them as much as I love me.... Hope that helps a little... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 Well it is Day 16 and I feel like I am back at the beginning of the break up......I don't understand these ups and downs....I was so happy yesterday morning and last night I just fell apart...I cried myself to sleep over someone I said I would never cry for again.....I want to know what hold this man has over me.....I have never been this weak...... Someone please give me advice, I have read everything I can read and I just don't know what more to do than I am already doing..... I don't want to do anything anymore.....I can't believe that he is never EVER going to contact me again.....what did I do to make him just disappear from my life forever?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Oh I'm so so sorry. Believe me. I know how you feel. I managed not to cry at all Wednesday. I thought that was it but yesterday was horrible, could sleep, and I'm in bed crying for him now. I have no idea what to tell you. I'm going to start exercising. I have a dr appt today. Maybe getting a solid 8 or 9 hours of sleep at night will help me, too. I'm going to look into volunteering. And I must stay away from alcohol. We are definitely grieving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jooj Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 sadandalone I understand your feelings. It's been 4 months since my break up and I'm still struggling. He hasnt contacted me at all since the break up, he hasnt even given me an explanation or an apology, he just disappeared which hurts so much. I checked his fb profile pic a week ago and I saw him with another girl which hurt so much. I felt stabbing pain from that picture. I just dont understand how someone can turn from crazy in love with you to completely indifferent, it just doesnt make sense. I know he will never be back and he will never contact me again but I can't let go of the hope. I want to move on, I want to forget him, I want to let go!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I just want to forget!!!! This has been the worst day for me since the day he left......I want to just drink the pain away, but I know that won't do anything for me....can someone please give me some sort of hope.....tell me what I am doing wrong...why I can't get over this, go from being ok one day to hating being here the next......PLEASE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Ladies, we can do this. We all KNOW in our brains that with time the pain WILL go away. We are going cold turkey and having severe withdrawal. Like Carus sys, it's "nasty stuff". I've been crying constantly. It's awful. I saw the doctor today. She looked at me with such compassion and said: "you're normal" as I sat there having a full out breakdown. She said my symptoms are completely normal and that I will be ok. I believe her. I have to, right? So, that means we WILL all be fine in time. Too bad we can't fast forward to that time. I love my ex bf and I miss him very much but he doesn't love me anymore so I MUST get over it. Honestly, I'm pretty sure that he's done so much damage to my heart that things wouldn't work out. He's not the same person whom I fell in love with. I'm mourning that man and he is GONE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalalollipops Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I know it's hard, I was a mess for six months, still hung up over him until MAY and I broke up with him end of July last year. I think what you need to do is have that thought in you that things WILL get better. Sure things are hard, I cried everyday for 3 months =/ and my former fluctuations in mood was crazy, but hang tough! You will get through this, and you probably will get over it faster than I have. Take it one step at a time, go out and have some fun. Try to smile and be happy, try to expand yourself. Learn new things, grow as a person. Things happen, things that may have your whole world spinning, where you feel like all of a sudden things go crashing down.. But are you gonna just quit and stop striving upwards? HECK NO. You GRIT your teeth and FIGHT! Cos that pain your feelings is what makes you human. Every shooting pain, every stab in the heart... It's helping you move onto BIGGER BETTER things. I've changed SO much in a year's time. I believe you will too if you just stop and take a step back and just evaluate everything that's going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Day 17, and it is another morning that he was first thing on my mind....thank you all for your replies and advice....I know it is just going to take time and me remaining strong, but it seems to get harder instead of easier for me for some reason.....today is going to be a real trial....my brother is getting married today and I will be going to a wedding alone....almost everyone that is invited has a SO that is coming with them....so it is going to be hard....but I am going.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I don't even know what to say about this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Shal: believe me I don't even know what to say either...i don't know how to even feel about it....but it's my brother....so I feel obligated to go.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Thinking of you .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Day 18 went crappy......wedding was to hard to handle.....why can't I just get over him????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Heard a good quote today: "We are meant to lose the people we love, how else would we know how important they are to us"........feel like it means alot.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James754 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hi ive just read all yr posts and it like I could of wrote them myself I no and feel exactly what yr going thro. The morning is the worst and when u do sleep yr thinking of them it's a constant pain that just won't go away I really do feel for you it's the worst feeling there is as we beat our selfs up about it no matter how we try and block the pain out it just comes back and hits us again. I like u don't no how somone can just shut off and cut u out there life like that it's somthing I could never do if I loved somone so that leads me to think did they ever love me or was the relationship a lie all of these sort of thoughs come to my mind but still don't make things easier coz we convince our self these people loved us. I hate waking up to face another day nothing in my life is more important or means more to me than she does. I guess the only thing we have is time which is ment to b a good healer but at this moment in time I can't see it. I'm going to c somone today and start therapy coz I can't cope with things not sure it will help as I no it won't bring her back but I need to do somthing to help with the pain I feel like u do everyday. I'll continue to read your posts and c how yr doing sorry if I've gone on a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Day 19, actually woke up and didn't have him on my mind right off.....don't know if that means anything or not...but today is the 4th of July and I am going to keep myself busy today and make the best of things.....I still feel the sting of him leaving me and still not contacting me at all, but I am going to remember he is the one that chose to leave me, not the other way around.....I am improving some I believe, but I have a long road still to go....I believe that some of the improvements I am feelings is due to the fact that I have been on medication now going on 2 1/2 weeks, and I believe that it has helped out in some aspects.... I am going to stay strong today and SMILE for ME!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 I honestly can't take it anymore.....to many ups and downs to deal with....I used to be strong and able to come back from hurt.....I really believed this man and everything he told me but it all was a lie.....how did I not see it.....I thought the older we got the smarter we became....guess I am just getting more stupid and venerable.....never thought I would be this way......I want him back so much....sad to say I want him to rely on me for help...I want him to want ME!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolorosa Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Me neither I keep going back as if it was the first day he broke up with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Why do I feel remorse when I get angry at him for doing what he did.....I feel like if I get angry I am going to be the bad person for whatever has happened....why is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 I am so confused right now....my BRAIN seriously knows I am over him, but my screwed up heart thinks he is going to come back and even though it doesn't matter, wants him to use me so I can get a fix of him.......my brain goes through so much thinking, I don't honestly know what is the right thing to believe or want..... I feel as if i am seriously going insane...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadandalone Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 Day 20 and still feeling nothing....I feel as if I am just a robot on autopilot....and sad thing is my brain knows that it is completely up to me to get over this feeling, I am the only one with the power to change how I feel....I just can't seem to get all of my body to go along with what my brain knows....my heart literally hurts....and I get anxious and have panic attacks.....I honestly just want to be happy and over him.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvonRepus Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I know that you need faith,God,Allah,Karma,Universe.Something to believe in.Something to look forward to. Picture your perfect future,do you want person like this to be the father of your children,can you picture yourself going through rough time with him,can you honestly say -yes,this is the person I was meant to be with ? I believe that your brain says no,but your heart says yes. Because of the rejection,because of the low self-esteem. You have a lot of people that love you in this life,family,friends,us..do you think it's because you are not worth it?No,because you are an amazing person that happen to be not prepared for something like this. People can be cold-blooded,hurtful the same way they told you they love you till the end. And it's not your fault you have a big heart and you are truly a believer. Ive been through bad break-ups before,not like this of course but it showed me one thing. People move on!One day you will turn and you won't remember a thing,you won't remember a single feeling or the reason you cried. Because you will be happy. Wiser,better,more confident,more prepared,more amazing. Believe me. I am here for you whenever you need to help. Sad to say but there are worst things in life. Be healthy and believe. The happiness is on it's way you need to open yourself enough to let it it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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