istawurst Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 i have posted a bit about this guy already. in short, we hooked up too early and we are both fresh out of long term relationships. i was trying to make an effort to be friends (we have a lot of close mutual friends, but recently met one another) but he seems to have taken it like i was chasing him. have backed off almost entirely now (he can't really be avoided sometimes). BUT he seems to be more interested now. THIS IS MY QUESTION: i called him out on being an * * * * * * * (long story) and in a few recent text conversations where i have given him BRIEF emotional support has made him seem much more keen. Is just being open, honest and emotionally supportive something that could make what i thought was a dead relationship, come back? or are am i just being nicely placed in the friend category? i would say friend category myself, but i ran into him today and he made intense eye contact with me and was smiling. strange for someone i was ignoring and the second to last time we spoke called an * * * * * * * (the last time i said something very nice and supportive to him). Link to comment
lukeb Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I'm not sure how this relates to your story and I can only speak in generalities. Generally speaking emotional support to a guy has more to do with what you do and less in what you say to each other. Often guys think they are being emotionally supportive by working long hours so that their families can have the good things in life for example. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Contrary to popular believe, guys can have emotions too. And yes, we can be emotionAL at times as well. Receiving emotional support from a girl would either make me feel somewhat uncomfortable if the girl and i had 'something' in the past, or it would rekindle forgotten emotions. Link to comment
istawurst Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 thanks mousen. i don't mean to suggest that guys don't have emotions... based on what i said do you think he's on the rekindling side or have i just made him uncomfortable? Link to comment
lukeb Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Guys definitely have emotions, when we are talking about being supportive, for a guy that can more often mean through doing. Doing something nice for someone would be an example. Women more often get their needs met though communicating, and generally speaking they are much better at communication in general to begin with. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Normally yes. Guys often believe giving a girl emotional support means being there for her, doing things for her. Receiving support from a girl often translates as talking. (why do girls love to talk anyway?) At least thats how a lot of guys think. Depends on what the **** word was and how it was said. If a girl came up to me and said i was a [bum] hole and meant it in a mean way, i would probably shove the word right back down her throat. (verbally, not literally) If that same word was used to tease playfully and sort of (how to describe it for a girl..) ?manly? shove me, (horrible explanation i know) i would take it lightly as jest. Link to comment
istawurst Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 thanks guys. well...i asked him what he was doing on friday night and he told me an old (male) friend was in town and that if they didn't do anything he would get in touch with me. then i ran into him out at a bar. i said hello to him and the people i knew in his friend group and introduced them all to my (girl) friend. we left shortly thereafter and i was pissed because he clearly blew me off. i know it was childish but i texted him "[bum]hole". he then said he didnt want me to be there because he was sending his ex off (she is apparently moving). i was pissed because he didnt just say it up front. i would be pissed if any of my friends did that actually. ...sunday i sent a text saying "for whatever its worth i hope you are doing ok having to send your ex off and all". havent had any contact since, just ran into him at school today and he seemed pleased to se me, which was a total surprise to me. i would have thought basic civility was in order, but he gave me intense eye contact twice. i avoided him the first time later because i could not avoid it i just said hello, talked to briefly to our mutual friend and left. now i am extremely confused. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Yep. Any girl in any situation call me that in the way you meant in your text. I would not be happy about it, nor would i forget about it 5 seconds later. I sincerely apologise. Link to comment
istawurst Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 really? even if you were clearly in the wrong? then why does he seem so happy to see me? Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 If i was clearly in the wrong, i am ''man enough'' to admit it. 'Sorry' and 'I apologise' are two words i am very familiar with, as im sure everyone has seen many times in my posts. Name calling would never need to occur. And i am also man enough to admit when i dont know the answer. Which is now. I never tell someone 'this is how it is', i offer my personal opinion. If i simply dont know, i say so. Link to comment
istawurst Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 ok. thanks for your input. Link to comment
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