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i hate her...but i cant live without her


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Here's the background: So I met my girlfriend about a year ago, and from the very beginning we clicked. She's funny, smart, and what I loved about her most was her innocence. We were both innexperienced and new to relationships, both of us never having been in one.


about 2 months after i met her i had to go back home to Jordan for about 2 months to visit family. I told her before i left that i was coming back for her, and that she was my girl. It wasnt official that we were dating, but it was implied. We both knew that when i came back we would make things official.


When I came back things were amazing, I would see her as much as I could and i fell in love with her in no time. I knew then that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and i told her that. When i said that to her, i could see in her eyes she didnt feel the same way. I knew she loved me, but maybe not at the same level i loved her.


another thing you should know..my dad passed away about 3 years ago due to a heart attack. since then, and even before then, ive had trust issues with everyone. and his death only made it 10x worse.


The problem: after about 4 months into our relationship, I find a message from some guy on her facebook wall saying that he missed her. obviously i get suspicious and ask her who he is and why is he saying that. i tell her to tell me the whole truth and dont hide anything from me. she tells me that during the time i was back home visitng family she was talking to this guy, txting him and talking to him over fb. she said that she liked him as much as she liked me. but when i came back she ended communication with him because we started dating.


I obviously get extremely mad, how could she do this to me? first of all i thought she really liked me, why would she do that? second of all she knows i have trust issues, why would she jeapordize our relationship? from that point on i lose my trust, and my love for her. i still love her, but not as much. she begs for my forgiveness almost every day, and says it was a mistake that that she is sorry.


and if this isnt enough, i find out about a month later that she lied. she didnt stop talking to him when i came back, and in fact she kept talking to him for another 2 months "as friends". i dont know what to do anymore, everytime i think about her that is what pops into my mind. the anger and hate wont go away, i love her but i hate what she did to me. if she really "loved" me she wouldnt have done that. i dont want to spend the rest of my life with a liar and a cheater. but i still love her. idk what to do

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Save yourself the heartache my friend, just start NO CONTACT with her, never speak with her again because I am sorry to say it seems that she does not feel the same way you feel for her...


I know it is very hard, but if you continue to pursue a relationship with her, all you will do is get hurt, especially since you cannot really trust her...


You can do better I am sure, find a girl who likes you and wont take you for granted...

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