3 of them and only so much of me left to go around

[dpressedone89]

hi guys, i have a bit of a problem. I have a girlfriend. she is great and i love her very much, but her 2 good friends both want me to leave her and date them. one of them is an awesome friend of mine and we talk alot and u know share and help each other. the other is a really sweet girl pretty and stuff and she left her boyfriend for me and i have no clue what to do. somebody help me. any advice? im stayin with my gurl but, what do i tell her friends?

~to love one means to love no other~

-stitches aka The Antihero

[WishMistress]

That is easy...you tell them NO. If you are staying with your girl and you love her then the answer to them is NO.

[dpressedone89]

well its not that simple one of them is a good friend the other ended a relationship for me i dont want to hurt feelings. just now me and my gurl were in a chat and she envited one of the other girls to join us and we were all...uh.. talking very friendly to each other and she had no problem...there is supposed to be a problem im so confused.

[ClareMsUK]

They don't seem like very good friends to be honest! I'd advise you against leading them on and even flirting slightly with them could lead them to believe you'd ditch your girlfriend for them. sometimes you have to be firm in order that they understand. you don't have to be cruel about it but explain that if this is going to be an issue and they are gonna try and split you and your girlfriend up then you can no longer hang out with them out of respect for your girlfriend. its strange that the 2 of them both want you! thats 3 friends altogther all wanting to date you haha that must be a nice feeling, but don't play on it as someone is gonna get hurt! good luck x

[cronos]

Be careful here. Does your girlfriend have any clue that her friends are 'into you'. If not, she could be really hurt, think you've engineered everything and then dump you on the spot.

 

What are your feelings towards your girlfriend? Are you happy with her?. If so, you need to tell her two friends this. So what if both these girls are cute, they could be messing with your head for all you know.

 

You must be a nice person yourself, to have these girls coming onto you. Good luck.

[dpressedone89]

it's a beyond awesome feeling. and i dont wanna play on it but MY GIRL DOES?!? yeah kinda weird any way what do i do now? and why is she cool with other girls and stuff like that?

 

~confusion is the heart telling the brain it still exists~wow i come up with some pretty creative little catch phrases lol

-stitches aka The Antihero

[ClareMsUK]

it does seem strange, perhaps she is just safe and secure in your relationship and enjoys other girls wanting you when she has you! i don't know it seems strange but perhaps they are quite young (i don't mean that in a condescending manner just trying to justify the behaviour!). the issue seems to be more with you and your girlfriend so talk to her and explain that whilst you are happy to chat and stuff with her friends it makes you uncomfortable that they are dumping their boyfriends for you, and that you love her and only her! be very careful though as women can be manipulating too. imagine the replies if this were a girl telling this story about 3 guys, there would be alot of warnings, so i'll just say be careful!

[dpressedone89]

i told her everything, and yeah, they dont seem like that good of friends to try to steal someones man.uhm i dont know if it matters but im my gf's first bf, does that make a difference?

[ClareMsUK]

it makes a difference in the sense that she is probably unsure of how to act and she is young but it can still hurt people! so i'd talk to her about it. she is probably just having fun, which is fine so long as its not at anyone else's expense. keep being firm with her friends that you are NOT interested and keep telling her the truth...about her friends and your feelings and soon they will get bored!

[dpressedone89]

well yeah im going to keep being firm but i talked to one of her friends and she said" its ok your with her, i'll wait for you forever" is this girl going to really go through high school dateless waiting for me? they are all IN love with me as they say its so gggrrrr....confusing and frustrating. why do they all of a sudden like me?

[ClareMsUK]

haha they are flattering you, flirting with you! that is an ego boost, but its just teenage girls talk, they will get bored and move on trust me! enjoy your actual relationship and be aware of outside attention, just don't let it rule! i know its confusing but girls can be players too and flirting as a weapon to get what they want, not to be evil but just cos they think its harmless fun. don't read too much into it and concentrate on your g/f and yourself!

[King_of_crunkness]

hell bang them all!! i would, lol just kidding, i'd like to be in your situation other than the one i was in... but hey tell them its not right, why you doubting it anyway? you not love the girl your with that much? dont doubt a good relationship when ya got one, because you dont know when it could come to an end, and let me tell ya, leaving someone i have faced it is really hard to do... so think about what your doing.

[i_hate_the_world47]

Just explain to her friends that thats all they are-friends.If they r real friends they will understand.

 

~Meagan~

[Francis]

There is a major problem with people who want to interfere with an on-going relationship :

 

1. Emotional problem : People who want that which they can't have cannot very balanced. If any of these girls were emotionally balanced, they would look for a boyfriend elsewhere, the world is full of young men. These girls have problems and they may even dump you or treat you badly once they have you.

 

2. Moral problem : These girls have no values. What can you expect from a woman who has no values : anything, they could do anything to you, because there is nothing that will stop them from lying and cheating on you. They have no values and don't know what is right from wrong.

 

In the past, a number of my boyfriend's friend tried to take me from him, but I would never go out with a guy who back stabs his friend like that.

 

Why would you want to be with backstabbers ? You think they'll never turn against you?

 

Be careful!

[dpressedone89]

its not that i want to be with them, its that my gurl doesnt mind, which is making me uneasy. and now my gurls gone for another week so. im talkin to her friends but u know as just friends but i dont feel right

-stitches

[redline052]

bro your lucky ! you got 3 girls all over you! You could easily become a pimp if you wanted at any time. Your girls lucky your not like that, cuz most of my friends are always trying to have "on the side" relationships. It never works out.

[dpressedone89]

well now this has gotten interesting, i have been talking to the friends more than my gurl because my gurls at a family reunion. anyway her friend invited me to live with her, getting really weird, now my gurls jealous again i dont know what to do anymore

[Scout]

Sounds like your girl has some real jerks for friends. Hope you're not going to follow suit and become one, as well. If you are so easily tempted to hang out with other girls just because your girlfriend is on a short vacation, perhaps you aren't ready for something serious with anyone. I suggest you give this some thought, have a talk with your girl friend, and don't fool around with anyone until you two have broken up, if that's what you decide to do.

 

I know it seems you have a lot of options right now, but that can change pretty fast. Maybe these girls are really interested because they find you to be a challenge, as you are involved with someone. Would they be so interested afterwards? If you do the wrong thing, you could end up with no one. Karma has a nasty bite, my friend.

[dpressedone89]

well me and my babigurl are serious, i think u missunderstood., u see we have the same friends, its not that im talking to them more im ttalking to her less. i know karma has a nasty bite and i am aware i am avoiding cheating on her, im being completely honest with her, that is the best thing i can do...right? well we had a argument today about me and her friend but we talked about it and made up, so we're good now but there is still the issue of 2 of her friends liking me any advice?

[Scout]

I'm glad you are determined not to cheat on her. That is a mark of character, and it will serve you well in life. I would suggest you talk to each of her friends and tell them something basically like this: "Look, you know that "X" is my girlfriend. I love her and I'm not the kind of guy who cheats on his girlfriends. If I led you on in anyway, well, that was wrong of me and I'm sorry for doing it. You're cute, and you will find a boyfriend of your own. I'd like to stay friends with you, but I don't think "X" would appreciate knowing her friends were hitting on her boyfriend, and if it comes down to it, I will choose her over friendship with you if you can't treat her with more respect and not hit on her boyfriend."

 

You really need to tell them something along these lines. I know it feels nice to have attention from girls, but you don't want that attention at the expense of hurting your girlfriend, do you? Let's put it this way...if you had two friends that were constantly hitting on her, how would that make you feel? It would cause a lot of stress and distrust, and your relationship wouldn't be any fun anymore.

 

Do the right thing: speak to these girls and let them know you mean what you say.

[dpressedone89]

hmm thats good advice, but saying i'd choose her over friendships well i dont know i dont want to lose two great friends because of my relationship. i've been talking to her about it and she said she was worried because friends are forever,but relationships change, i assured her that i wasnt going to leave her for her friends. actually we almost broke up but one of her friends talked her into giving me another chance, aparently she was jealous over my msn screenname, long story short her friend helped me through a hard time so i said i was tlking to her and for everyone else to leave me alone, she took it the wrong way because she didnt know what we were going on but i explained but we are good now.i just wish there was a way i could tell her friends with out losing there friendship.

[Scout]

Bottom line: this relationship is a bit crowded. There are more than just the two of you in it! Whether or not you want to encourage this dynamic is up to you. I don't really have any more advice for you. Good luck, and try not to hurt anyone along the way.