Have I become a cheater?!

[Decado]

 

 

I fear I may have become the sort of person I loathe; the sort of person that I would hate: a cheater.

 

In January this year, I realised I wasn't completely over my ex. He said he just wanted to be friends but I couldn't handle it; so I broke all contact with him completely in an attempt to try and get over him. He is on the same course as me but is placed at a different campus so I barely see him.

 

This worked. Since January, I had managed to almost completely forget about him....

 

I then started seen this other guy in April. We have been on 3 dates. We haven't slept together but for the 3rd date, I visited him in Spain for 3 days since that's where he is on his year abroad. I like him...but it hasn't gotten to a stage where I can see it going very far.

 

 

So recently, I started hearing rumours that my ex has left the course for good! He is from Ireland and him leaving the course means that I would never ever see him, or have any chance of seeing him, ever again. This terrified me to my core! I felt sad that I was never going to see him again but there was nothing I could do about it.

 

This Saturday just gone, our course had it's Summer Ball. And who happens to be there? My ex. After downing a bottle and a half of red wine, I muster up the courage to talk to him. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing. A lot. He confessed a lot of things like that he never said he stopped liking me and that the reason we broke up is because he cannot come out to his parents ever.

 

 

Anyway...back to the point: Have I cheated on this new guy with my ex?

 

Should I tell the new guy about it?

 

We've never talked about exclusivity and we've only been on 3 dates so I don't know....

 

I'm feeling a mixture of guilt and shame.

[-Sanguine-]

I don't think you've done anything you need to confess to the new guy. Unless you have had a discussion about exclusivity, you haven't done anything wrong. If if would make you feel better and if you're not really feeling things with the new guy, you could let him know you're not into him anymore so he doesn't get the wrong idea. Otherwise, stop worrying! Just make sure you are honest with both of them if it gets to that stage where you want to only date one person.

[testcase]

Nope technically you haven't cheated till that exclusivity talk comes up. Tho it can be a fine line if you've been dating for a few months!