Is it ever too late to apply stategies to get ex back

[Ant1975]

Was just wondering if it was ever too late to try and win back an ex using strategies applied by myjoy and various e-books?

 

I've been split with my ex of 4 years for 18 months and we've remained close contact all this time. Had a little get together at christmas this year but didnt get back together. I've made all the usual mistakes of being needy etc during the split.

 

However, it was her bday today and I took her for a meal last night and applied the strategies myjoy and these ebooks recommend and it worked like a charm. I acted like I would on a first date (ie happy, confident, chatty and enthusiastic) and she really warmed to it. I hadnt seen her for a month and she must have thanked me for a lovely evening about 3 or 4 times before I said goodbye. I went to kiss her on the cheek to say goodbye and she turned in to give me a sort of 1/2 kiss on the mouth. She rang me again when she got home to thank me again and told me to ring her today to wish her a happy bday.

 

Just wondering if its too late as 18 months is a long time to be apart but we've remained close. I am applying these strategies and working on myself so I'll be ok if it doesnt work out. I'm going to contimue to use positive small moments to build up over time to see where it leads us.

 

I've realised that if you want someone enough and love them 110% then its worth fighting for. I know myjoy has had success and so has danimal so there is success to be had by applying these strategies. I would value anyones opinion on how long I should give it before having the "get back together" converstion. I think it may take a bit of a long time due to the amount of time we've been apart.

 

Any advice or success stories would be greatly appreciated.

[rich46]

Hi,

 

I am still in the NC stage but I plan to use myjoys strategy when I initiate contact again in 1 or 2 weeks.

 

You sound like you are doing great! But in my opinion, you should be really patient as 18 months is a long time. Certainly don't have any "get back together" conversations for quite a while as she may not be ready for that. Just continue to play it cool like you did last night - it sounds like you are in the driving seat. Don't give that up by being all needy and clingy again. Just keep building up the pleasurable moments like last night - I wish I was in your position!

 

I can imagine it's difficult to not just say "Look we are obviously great for eachother, do you think we should give it another try?" BUT have restraint and don't do it. Let her see that you can have great times together, like when you first started dating.

 

You are doing well, just don't get over confident and have plenty of patience - let her do the running!

 

Good luck,

 

Rich

[Ant1975]

Believe me I am not going to rush this at all as I've asked for her back twice this year already and have been rejected simply because I've gone about it all wrong.

 

I'm in a good emoitional state and we have such a good communicative relationship with eachother. I dont think the NC is the way to go with us but I am keeping minimal contact for the time being. She is always willing to meet up with me when I suggest doing so but now I have the knowledge of how to act and what works and doesnt I will see what happens.

 

I've just made a few mistakes and want to go about this in the right way. Wish I'd known this earlier but never mind.

 

The only thing that really goes against me is that I was her 1st serious relationship and I think she wants to experience what else is out there. But that should stop me from trying to go for the one I love otherwise I'll regret not having tried.

 

I can recommend two really good books to read:

 

How to get your lover back

The Bonds that make us free

 

These are really helpful and there is an e-book on link removed which is helpful in giving advice on what to do and approaches to getting back with your ex.

[rich46]

Hi,

 

Thanks for those links, I will definitely check them out.

 

The only thing that really goes against me is that I was her 1st serious relationship and I think she wants to experience what else is out there. But that should stop me from trying to go for the one I love otherwise I'll regret not having tried.

Me too. We were first loves and maybe my ex needs time to 'explore' but I agree, that shouldn't put us off! I know lots of couples who met when they were at high school and are still together some 30 years later.

 

You sound like you've got a good attitude, and the fact you've gone about it wrongly in the past may even help you in a weird way. She will see a marked difference in your behaviour and will be pleasantly surprised! I totally agree that you'll regret not trying - that is my situation too. If she had cheated on me, I would wash my hands with her. She wouldn't be worth it. But as she is only just turned 22 I believe I should be patient with her while she has this "space" and eventually, fingers crossed, we can have an even stronger relationship.

 

Rich

[jmh1216]

As for those strategies, the one that confuses me is that *you* should be the one to end a conversation, and on a positive note. You can never really tell when your ex plans to end the conversation, can you? And what if it's going really well and you're enjoying talking to each other? At what point do you say, alright, we'll stop the conversation now?

[RayKay]

As for those strategies, the one that confuses me is that *you* should be the one to end a conversation, and on a positive note. You can never really tell when your ex plans to end the conversation, can you? And what if it's going really well and you're enjoying talking to each other? At what point do you say, alright, we'll stop the conversation now?

 

I think the idea is that you DO end it while it is going really well and while you are enjoying it! Why - because you "have somewhere to be!"...you don't have to be rude - say it has been good talking to you, but I need to run. I know it can be hard, but think of it on your side - if the convo was good and they end it early you wish it had gone on, but you are left witha happy feeling about it, right? It ends the conversation on a high note, leaves them wanting more. And no you cannot tell when they want to end it, but you just have to end it usually before they can. You don't say "I have to stop talking" just, "It has been fun, but I have to run".

[Ant1975]

Thats exactly what the idea behind finishing the convo early. I never tend to stay on the converstaion for longer than 30 mins tops. You leave them wanting to speak to you again rather than dragging out until you dont have much to say to eachother. Remember the less you say on the phone the more you have to talk about when you meet them.