Wwhen the Fog Lifts - What Have You Learnt About Yourself

[Silverbirch]

I've been spending time with a group of close female friends (we practice same faith). They have been concerned and supportive, and their attitude is to try not to think about him, but to look at myself towards self-improvement and inner causes for having been in the last relationship which ended so badly.

 

They believe that becoming alienated from friends played a big part, that I was not clear and strong enough about my boundaries, and that I put myself in a situation where my self-esteem was whittled down. They said that I should have asked myself more "Is this what I want? Is this good and kind for me?" They are encouraging me to see this as a learning experience and there seems to be a lot of wisdom in the group. Anyone else learnt things about themselves they would like to work on which you would like to share?

[Silverbirch]

They told me that I adopted quite a lot of false beliefs which ended up causing harm to me that I should have taken things much more slowly and made that person aware of specific boundaries = that in future I must be prepared to walk away (from relationships) otherwise I compromise my own integrity and self-esteem

[replytome]

Well for now I have learnt that I needed something like this to happen for me to really grow. I try to see it as the initiation into adulthood. What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. I also learned that I HAVE to be more careful with who I invest my emotions in, and how much to invest. I now see it as an investment, you have to diversify your portfolio of emotions. Family and friends will always be there, so always put them first. Never let your partner become your whole life. If you have 5 family members, 5 friends and 1 partner, you place somewhat more time and emotions into the partner but if they leave you still have 5 family members and 5 friends with the majority of stake in your life. Hobbies and such is included btw, so y=x+w+z+t+i+o+p+.... where x is partner. In the overall equation, a sudden drop in x (partner) will not have as much of an effect as if the equation looked like this y=x+z where x is the partner and z is your job. : /

 

Hard to explain via post and im tired but hopefully it will make some sense.

[Silverbirch]

Makes sense to me Boreed.

 

Well, I also learnt that I can love a LOT.

[replytome]

I learnt that having a bad trip on drugs makes me fall in love. :S

[Silverbirch]

LOL! Funny man.