TiredOfGames Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 You may know a little about my situation already... Ex GF broke up with me about 10 days ago. We broke up once last year for a stint, got back together, and remained so for a further 8 to 9 months. We work together on the same three-person team, so myself, the ex-GF, and another female co-worker (the two of them happen to be fairly good fiends too). We share a cube wall and since the breakup I went NC/LC (the LC has been for work related stuff only, and extremely limited at that). I've not spoken with her at all during this time, and I've only had two work related emails from her to reply to (both short and to point answers, nothing else). We have an internal IM system that some of us use, and the ex and I would use it all the time, but 99.9% of that was all personal messaging. Work items have always been discussed in person or via email exchange, and the same would be true now. She did attempt to engage me in conversation on the second day after the breakup via our work IM, but I managed to keep that conversation extremely brief and it ended after about 4 lines (less than 60 seconds worth). I've been removing her contact details from my personal email, deleting phone IM and text logs, and I just disconnected from her on Linked-In. I really don't need to have her in my contacts list for the reasons stated above. My motivation for removing her would be the same as with any personal social networking account. It also provides a daily reminder of when she is at her desk or away, and she receives the same information about me. As much as I want to remove her, I'm a little hesitant to do so purely because of the work situation. So my question is should I remove her from my work IM contact list? Has anyone here been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do and what was the outcome? Link to comment
made Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Yup, at least imagining it as AOL IM I'd hate to see my ex logging on and off. If she messages you you'll still get it even if she's not in the contact list right? Link to comment
TiredOfGames Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 Yup, at least imagining it as AOL IM I'd hate to see my ex logging on and off. If she messages you you'll still get it even if she's not in the contact list right? She'll still be able to message me, but she might have less incentive to do so if she can see that I removed her from my list (at the least I would just show up as inactive or something in her contact list). Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 She'll still be able to message me, but she might have less incentive to do so if she can see that I removed her from my list (at the least I would just show up as inactive or something in her contact list). Do you want her to have incentive to message you? I got the impression from your first post that you didn't care if she messaged you or not. Link to comment
TiredOfGames Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 Do you want her to have incentive to message you? I got the impression from your first post that you didn't care if she messaged you or not. I'd rather not hear from her at all. Out of sight, out of mind (as much as possible, save for work). Would help me with my NC/LC. If she did message me on a personal basis I would most likely respond just out of common courtesy, although I'd keep my interactions very brief and I'd try to cut the communication short. But the less chance of that happening the better. She could of course still email me through work or personal email, or even phone SMS, but none of those guarantee my availability to read and respond to them right away. I'm just not sure whether or not cutting her from a work IM contact list would result in a different and possible overreaction, compared to say a personal IM account. Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Ah, true. In that case, I'd have to say go ahead and leave her on there. No point in stirring up the pot in the work place. Believe it or not, seeing her on there will actually help numb you to it, with time. After a while you just won't care. Link to comment
TiredOfGames Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 Ah, true. In that case, I'd have to say go ahead and leave her on there. No point in stirring up the pot in the work place. Believe it or not, seeing her on there will actually help numb you to it, with time. After a while you just won't care. Yeah, I think you've hit the nail on the head here. I've already ceased all personal interactions with her and anything work related has been limited and kept strictly business (also meaning no pleasantries). So yeah, no point in stirring up the pot, and I think you're right about the numbness thing. Only time and perhaps a little effort to make it so will tell I guess, but here's hoping! Thanks everyone! Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.