I gave ... What did you give in your relationship to show your love...???

[TiredOfGames]

I gave ...

 

What did you give in your relationship to show your love, your admiration, your respect and how much you cared for your SO?

 

This could be anything, from kind gestures to physical gifts. What did you give that was so very personal to your relationship, you know, the little things that made you smile and made your relationship special and unique? And what did you receive in return?

 

I'll start things off with two of my own...

[TiredOfGames]

I gave you flowers.

 

I would put flowers in a vase for your desk at work. I would throw away the old flowers, clean the vase, then put new flowers in for you. I would come in at weekends, late at night, sometimes very early morning, to do this for you and so that nobody else would notice. There were a number of times where you didn't even notice the flowers, not until somebody else in the office remarked on them. Some flowers would leave a mess around your desk after blooming. You complained a little about certain types doing this and to not get those for you. I saw the mess on occasion, and I understood. But was it really too difficult for you to add a "thank-you, but" or "I appreciate you getting them for me", or something similar, some form of loving gratification? I never asked for any, I never expected any, but when you complained about them, a "thank-you but" would have been nice.

 

I would buy you flowers for your home when visiting of an evening. Not every time, but at least once a week I would buy you a fresh bunch of flowers of some kind. I would get you flowers, a fresh French loaf, and wine (and specifically your favorite wine on a majority of occasions too; I like it, but it's your favorite, so I would buy that for us, for you). I would walk in with a grocery bag in one hand and flowers in the other. You barely acknowledged my existence when I arrived most of the time. If you were on your couch, you stayed on your couch. If you were in the kitchen, you carried on doing whatever it was that you were doing. You couldn't even spare 30 seconds to greet me, to give me a kiss, to allow me to hug you. We barely saw each other outside of work as it was due to your schedule with your kids. All I ever wanted was some acknowledgment, some love. I would cut the stems of the flowers and vase them for you. I remember buying you flowers one evening, and about two days later being at your house again and the flowers were gone. When I asked where they were (I thought perhaps your cats knocked them over or chewed them up) you said they gave off a strong smell that wasn't to your liking. OK, fair enough, I'll try to not get that particular flower in the future. But like the flowers at work, you complained, said you had to throw them out. No "thank-you, but" or "I really appreciate ... but". Nothing. You made me feel non-existent and my kind gestures to be a wasted effort.

 

Towards the end I stopped showing up with wine, unless I thought I'd drink most, if not all, of a whole bottle myself just to escape the misery in my heart at being in your cold, selfish, inconsiderate, and unloving presence.

 

Needless to say I stopped buying you flowers at work and at home. But what hurts the most from all of the above is that when I stopped, you didn't even care. That's what hurts most.

[Eocsor]

Well, whatever we gave it wasn't enough apparently because we all got dumped!

[TiredOfGames]

I gave you massages.

 

I gave you so many massages during the course of our relationship. Foot massages, calf massages, back, shoulder, and neck massages. Sometimes you would ask for a massage and I would happily oblige, each and every time. On occasion my hands and forearms ached from a gym workout, but that never stopped me. Sometimes I would ask if you would like a massage, and other times I would just start massaging you. I knew you liked them, and for me I enjoyed the intimacy of it all, and it made me happy that massages made you feel good.

 

You gave me a back and shoulder massage twice over the course of our 20+ month relationship. Twice. I never asked for massages, but one would have been nice every once in a while. You knew from my workouts that I would have really liked a massage on occasion. I never asked, but then why would I have to anyway???

 

I gave you a foot, back and shoulder massage the night you officially broke up with me. After a good 30 minutes or so of massaging, with you leaning against me, at times with one hand around your waist, you pulled away and said you needed to go to bed. Then you proceeded to break-up with me.

[zaza34]

I actually learnt how to give him a really good massage, I have been learning for months, reading books, watching videos because I wasn t good at it before I knew he really like receiving massage...

I gave him my time, I rescheduled my whole life for him... I gave him my attention, I tried to make something nice, special for him for each time we met, surprise him with small things, sometimes just wrote a note with a picture I took letting him know how much I missed him, how much I desire him...

Well but it wasn t enough for him, he just kept saying he didn t know what he wanted, he never even said that all my efforts meant something to him...

What he gave me in return? He bough breakfast once into my bed... nobody ever did that before, so it was something special for me, but I can t remember anything else...

[Success]

I gave me. Guess it wasn't good enough. Her loss.

[r0ckox]

I guess I didn't really give much....considering she didn't want me to.

 

I gave her my time, my emotions, my feelings, my loyalty, my trust (till it was broken),

my hope and my fears - and I got nothing in return.

 

Never got to become a real relationship... always turned away, always put off for later...

 

Guess i shouldn't have given anything to begin with, and "acted like I didn't care" like the advice she gives everyone else, telling them thats what they should do.

"You're supposed to act like you don't care, and make HER care."

 

Thanks.

 

Shame on me.

[sada88]

I gave him whatever he wanted. Trips to Six Flags, my virginity, sweets whenever he had a bad day, taking care of him when he is sick, finding new things for us to do, my first love, massages and coming in everyday to cheer him up. Also helping him with his future...

[ferna3069]

not trying to sound bitter, jaja but i gave my everything. i gave her the courage to get out of a house where she was treated like a slave, i gave her self asteem, i spoiled her, i was there for her when she needed me.i gave her what she needed. what did i get in return? a broken heart

[penfield]

I gave her myself, my life and everything in it. I didn't hold anything back. Thought she really liked it too but obviously didn't turn out that way. Found out she doesn't know what she likes.

[Bcom]

She lost her job! I came down with flowers and a little stuffed kitty to cheer her up! It worked! Her grandmother died and I was right there by her side! She was having a bad day! I was always there to listen, to console! I gave a lot! But she did not! All I got from her was heartache!

[AutumnBorn]

I gave him a divorce. He was stunned. That's most important.

 

I gave him an out when he wanted me to abort our son.

I gave him forgiveness for the affair he had with a co-worker 15 years ago (he was very honest about it).

I gave him freedom when he didn't know if he wanted to be married (then I divorced him).

I gave him the best sex he's ever had (he says he can't get me out of his head sexually - it was good for me, too, so I was just giving in kind).

I gave him honesty when he was playing head games.

I gave him beautiful portraits of our children, which brought him to tears.

I gave him the videos of our family on DVD when I had them transferred - our daughter as a little girl, a parade in which his father was the Grand Marshall and both his parents alive and well, our son still a boy. It made him cry. (He gave me a scarf that year.)

I gave him a great wardrobe - the man had no fashion sense before me and he's lost it again.

I gave him caring (which he called nagging - reminding him to take his medication, offering him the floss after I took what I needed, asking him to go to the dentist so he could get a mouth guard because he was grinding his teeth to stubs when he slept).

I gave him a beautiful home. Now he has an OK house, but has no idea how to make it a home.

I gave him dinner every night I was home.

I gave him 26 years. That was enough.