He unblocked me??

[prettynthecity]

Ok, so I've been trying to go the NC route with my ex but it's difficult when you've shared a life together, know each other so well, were best friends, etc. He was the first one I would call about ANYTHING in my life; he was my best friend despite whatever issues we may have had.

 

Anyway we broke up and I had some difficulty not talking to him. He blocked me on facebook and other means of contact so we could both move on. Initially I did the same but I ended up unblocking him just in case.

 

But about three weeks ago I found out he unblocked me on facebook to look at my pictures and still thinks I'm beautiful (he told me). We don't talk every day (in fact, we don't 'talk' at all: I'll usually write a quick message or e-mail not about us at all and sometimes he'll respond, sometimes he won't.) He used to have everything blocked but now he is responding to me. I am careful not to be too 'nice' to him lest he think I am still pining for him.

 

What does this mean? I would like to be friends with him and don't have romantic interest in him right now because our lives are going in different directions and it wouldn't work out but in the future when things calm down I would definitely like to try again. Is this a good sign?

[lavenderdove]

If sometimes he responds and sometimes he doesn't, that tells you he either doesn't really want to be a part of your life all that much, or else he's afraid if he starts responding and acting like a friends, you'll get your hopes up and want more from him when that is not what he wants.

 

Even if you tell yourself you don't have romantic interest now but you want to try again 'when things calm down', that DOES mean you have romantic interest in him still, so don't try to convince yourself otherwise or you will cause yourself pain. I think if all you want to do is keep tabs on him for the future, then a random contact every few months is all you need to do that. If you become 'friends' you will be hearing about new women he is dating, you will be being rejected because he doesn't want a romance with you etc., all of which really isn't in your best interest. If he doesn't fit into your life right now for whatever reason, then you need to devote your time and efforts into finding a BF who does want to be with you now rather than trying to be your ex's buddy in hopes something may come of it way down the line.

[prettynthecity]

I suspected as much. But he was the one who told me he unblocked me and I'm still beautiful. Argh! He went from complete no contact to that- it was kind of unnecessary to say unless he wanted to.

 

At the moment I am not looking to date anyone. I'm not interested in dating and was moving on, but that gave me quite a wallop.

[prettynthecity]

I guess I should also mention that while we were even dating sometimes he would respond, sometimes he wouldn't. He wasn't the best at responding/calling/communicating when we were apart. So this isn't like he went from answering every e-mail and text religiously to only answering them sometimes. He just never answered them all even when we were together (he was much more demonstrative physically than, say, verbally). His behavior is the same now as it always was, just minus the "I love you."

 

Thanks for your answer!

[Snowy]

He blocked me on facebook and other means of contact so we could both move on. Initially I did the same but I ended up unblocking him just in case.

 

Sorry to sidetrack, but - I don't think it's possible for two people to BOTH block each other at the same time.

 

If he blocked you, you wouldn't have been able to see his profile AT ALL, so how were you able to get to his profile and block him?

 

Strange.

[prettynthecity]

Well, I know I had him blocked first for sure because I did it when he didn't expect it. And then I unblocked him about a week after, so he might have seen my profile on a news feed or something (we have mutual friends) and blocked me after that. I noticed he was unavailable because posts he made on my wall, friend's walls, etc. were then missing. But then he told me he unblocked me about three weeks after that.

 

Complicated, I know

[Cadence44]

I guess I should also mention that while we were even dating sometimes he would respond, sometimes he wouldn't. He wasn't the best at responding/calling/communicating when we were apart. So this isn't like he went from answering every e-mail and text religiously to only answering them sometimes. He just never answered them all even when we were together (he was much more demonstrative physically than, say, verbally). His behavior is the same now as it always was, just minus the "I love you."

 

Thanks for your answer!

 

Sweetie, I'm going to give you some tough love: you're making excuses for him.

 

His behavior of unblocking you and calling you beautiful could be many things. He could be worried/feeling guilty about you and wants to make you feel better about yourself or he could be fishing to see if you're still interested in him. He could be doing the latter because interested in you or because whomever he has his eye on might not be a sure thing so he's looking to you as a back up to boost his ego... my point is that you don't know. You're getting your hopes up and assuming that these things mean that he's on his way back to you and that is not necessarily the case.

 

If he wanted to get back together with you he would let you know it. Until you hear those words out of his mouth you should assume that nothing has changed, otherwise you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. My advice to you is to not get sucked in again. He might not understand that his actions are getting your hopes up, so it's up to you to protect yourself.

[prettynthecity]

All good advice. Thanks!