stevef20 Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 Tough crowd tonight, never rains eh ? Link to comment
dramallama Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 It's not us that is hurting you - it's the truth. The truth will set you free, steve. Link to comment
thagator Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Sorry Steve, but I have to side with everyone else here. You have recently made great strides, but why compromise that? You sound like a good guy, and I would have a beer with you, so I have a feeling that in time the true woman of your dreams will emerge and knock you off your feet. Nice guys finish last? My ass they do. Link to comment
Kev0s1983 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hey steve, im sorry you are probably sleeping when i write this from a long way away. I think you know inside you cant text her or make contact. If you knew without question or hesitation it would be "ok" or it was "the right thing to do" you wouldnt post here would you? You would have just gone through and contacted her anyway... You know I know how hard this is steve. You have read through my own struggles and I yours. Everyone here has tremendous respect for you and your strength you have shown and continue to show. Everyone here feels your pain and inexorable suffering and like me, want nothing more than to wave a wand and make it all better. Hell, even reach into their own pocket and pay 50 bucks to take the agony away cos like me and the rest of us, we truly understand... We really "get it". Its a torturous agonising path we journey along but you are not alone in it. I have my baby girl who I want to text, contact and hold and you have your special someone as many people in this thread do. But, just as we know deep down it wont do any good for us to contact them, we know it wont do you any good to contact yours... Please Steve, for your own wellbeing, your own sanity, to continue your healing and stick with each of us on the journey, just leave it be... Leave it alone mate... It aint worth it and wont bring you the answers or the happiness you desperately want it to. One step at a time man. We will all get there. I promise. Link to comment
Lostmysoulmate Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Steve you can write to me anytime you need me. you know this. You have to start doing NC. You know this. Remember you want me to be happy. What about you? tell me to be strong. And what about you? do this for yourself. by pushing like you are you are destroying anything she has for you. you gotta respect that space. you are coming off really needy. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 yeah steve. its not that we are been mean. i know how you feel wanting to talk to her. she broke your heart man. think of it that way. i know it sounds harsh when people tell you its best to not contact her but it is for your own good. trust me. im stil going threw it. i made that mistake and all it brought me was pain Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 STEVE, NOooooo. rememeber what you told me, she rejected you, now you have to care for yourself and move on. I emailed my ex "i miss you", he never responded, don't do it to yourself steve, please. Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hey, steve, I wanted to ask: what triggered this strong urge to relapse? Can you pinpoint anything specific -- did something happen that sent you reeling? I know for me, for example, if I spend too much time alone in my apartment on the weekend, I get very sentimental about my ex, and it tends to spiral until I step outside to shake it off. I'm asking because it may be helpful to understand where and why these powerful urges come from, so you can act preventatively in the future to make things as safe and easy as possible for NC. (This is something I had to learn when I kicked an addiction, and I'm finding it applies to "kicking" a difficult breakup in some ways.) Try to push past this hump, steve. To relieve some of the immediate pressure: remind yourself that the option to contact her will still be there in the future. You don't need to act immediately on your urge. Grab my virtual hand and give it a big SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE instead of texting for now? Your support staff is on duty! Link to comment
meister Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 She rejected you. Don't forget that dude. Also, I think you'd feel a lot * * * * tier if you messaged her, and she didn't respond or gave you a half ass short response. Don't put yourself through more pain. Just go out like a gentleman, not a clingy wuss. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Morning all, It's fair to say that I was very sad last night and missing her terribly, I needed to vent how I was feeling and wanted to ask if texting would be ok? I got my answer and I thank-you all for that, to those of you that think I'm not already engaged in nc, you've sadly missed where I am, I've actually just passed 7 weeks, I've not made any contact what so ever, so you see, I'm not being needy, I am giving her the space, I have accepted she has gone, I am moving on with life. I needed to vent last night as mentioned and I needed to be told don't do it. Thank-you everyone Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Steve you ok mate? sorry i missed this thread last night. jonesy Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 I'm fine jonesy, was just hack.g a moment m8. Thanks for asking Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Thanks gettin, I appreciate you posting Steve Link to comment
LoveHearts21 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hope your feeling ok Steve. I've been feeling down this weekend too, I really miss him and wish he was here. I just keep wishing I could turn the clock back! Your strong and you've proved that. Having been in NC for 7 weeks shows how strong you are. I wish I had been as strong as you! It's getting easier for you so why knock yourself down by breaking NC? If you text her and she didn't respond or she sent you another text like her last one, it would only add to your pain and you would be back at day 1. You'd regret contacting her. Don't do it to yourself. Whenever you have the urge to contact her, put your phone down and do something to occupy your mind. You'll get through this but don't knock yourself down along the way. Keep strong Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Job well done, steve. Coming here to vent is always a good move. There'll be those days where you doubt the process -- I have them all the time -- but you did great in pushing thru the doubts and choosing your self-respect and healing over the pain of the moment. Link to comment
Used2BHappy Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 If you really wanted to be honest with yourself - reaching out now is more to make you feel better. Don't do it. I keep making this type of mistake and you are just living an unhealthy pattern. Just break the pattern. Little by little you will feel the strength of not giving in to that. If you keep tugging at the band aid the wound will never fully heal. I'm sorry you're hurting. I know you miss her. Be well. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Share Posted May 3, 2011 Thanks used. I hope you're ok? Link to comment
Slimpee Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Don't do it. I broke up w/ my ex, tried to get back together w/ her, but she initiated NC. That was over 4 months ago. Last week, 4 months to the day that NC began, she texted me wishing me good luck on my finals. My ex found a way to get in touch w/ me... You have to have the mindset that she won't contact you otherwise you'll constantly be hoping and checking and waiting. You have to move on. Delete her number. Delete her from IM lists. Delete pictures. You have to rid yourself of as many reminders as possible. You won't forget about her but you will start moving forward. Like others have said, if she wants to contact you she will... Link to comment
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