Can i text her ?

[stevef20]

Hi all,

 

It's been over 7 weeks now since she growled at me via text, telling me its over, goodbye, now leave me alone.

 

I've been thinking about her tonight and even after all of this pain, is still go back if she asked. I miss her so much, you know the little things I mean, the gentle strokes, the looks you got when we weren't looking, the closeness, cuddled and general feeling of warmth and happiness, that's what she was to me and that's why I miss her so much.

 

I lay in my bed, a tear told down my face and I find myself looking up, picturing her face and wishing she was beside me, ill never know that feeling again, I'm empty with out her. I've lost my baby.

 

I love you Just, I hope you're happy darling.

 

A very sad English gentleman.

[gettinmeback56]

NO do not text her, how long are you planning on suffering?

 

You will have that feeling again, but the longer you hold onto this feeling you have now, the further away from happiness you'll be.

 

 

Pick yourself up and delete her number, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

[stevef20]

As short a time as possible, I just miss her.

[PrettyGood]

No, you can't text her. Whatever desperate your feelings are, it does not allow you to make one more mistake. It will hurt much more. And when she said she doesn't want you in her life, she doesn't want you fully - including your thoughts about the past and your messages. It's the reality, man. Don't be a desperate stalker. No women love this kind of men. Really. Women love strong, self-confident and happy men, not weak and desperate. It won't give you any pluses.

 

And yeah, delete her phone. When she will need you - she will contact you. You're not the only one who has a phone number. It's not funny to play love game if you're only in the yard with imaginable friend. She's gone and that's all. Take some relax pills and go to sleep. This phase is healing phase. You need to go over it. After some time you will feel angry on her, and then lately you will forgive YOURSELF and move on.

[Di84]

STEVE---------- ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO!

 

Learn from my mistakes.

[stevef20]

New, that really hurts to hear that

[PrettyGood]

It hurts or it's not we're not your enemies. We want to help you and we're here to support you. If you want to write her anything - better write a long long letter here. It won't bring you pain and you will be understood. Btw, you're not the only one who think that it's the end of the world. Still - it isn't the end of the world even if it seems so. How many times you thought that any woman is the REAL ONE until the break-up. But after some time you find another - better one and everything starts over. So calm down a little bit, it's really not the end of the world. You're healing and your wound is really deep. When you want to text her - you're taking off the bandages from your heart and make it bleed a lot heavier. Don't, ok? Just don't even think about it.

[gettinmeback56]

New, that really hurts to hear that

 

Tough love Steve, you need it right now.

 

My brother, I have been there, I'm still there. The difference is, my wife wants me to stay in her life, although I have no interest in going back to get my heart broken again. This woman has made it clear she is done, you have to go on, YOU HAVE TO GO ON.

 

Come on, you got this.

[hurtgurl]

Don't do it Steve, you will regret it. I have been doing it for near on 3 weeks and it has wore me down!! It is really hard I know, I have been fighting the urge to text for last few hours and it is killing me, but we gotta resist for our own mental health and self respect.

 

You can do it Steve, ride the moment out until it passes!! Thats what I keep telling myself in my head. xx

[Mustang4life]

New, that really hurts to hear that

 

Steve, I am going through the same thing right now. DO NOT text her!!!

For me it has been about 2 months and I am still hurting. However, after the first week post break up, I stopped texting and calling her. Anything I wanted to tell her, I would type it down in a word file and just save it (kind of like a journal). I am giving my ex maybe another month or two before I send her a last message to see where we are at (4 months post break up). But don't do that until you give some time apart, DON'T look desperate!

[stevef20]

Not sure i need this tougher love my friends

[penelope13]

Steve, it's totally normal to miss the companionship and everything related to it. However, she has been very clear about wanting distance from you. You have to respect that. If not for her, at least for yourself.

 

Be honest with yourself, what do you hope to accomplish by sending her a text? Is this an urge out of anxiety, fear, panic, hurt pride - or do you truly have a specific message to convey to her?

[stevef20]

I guess im still in shock a little, before xmas we bought a house, she came off the pill and we went to look at engagement rings, eve when we split she said that she wanted us to sort things out in the future, then in 1 week week it completely changed, it went from i still love you to i have no feelings for you anymore anymore, i just dont get it.

 

I didnt want to open the wound again like this tonight, i wanted to pour my heart out without getting torn to shreds

[gettinmeback56]

My father said to me a few weeks ago, when I was full of rage and depression about my wife, "Son, you can have everything you want, as long as you keep your cool". He didn't mean I could have my wife back, he simply meant take the time, keep your cool, and what you want will come to you.

 

I thought I wanted my wife back, but what I really wanted was peace and clarity. Stay the course Steve, you're doing great.

[penelope13]

why don't you post what you wanted to text her, here on ENA? At least get it out of your system.

 

And as hard and harsh as it may seem to get these reaction from people responding, don't you think it's easier to deal with than another rejection from her?

[gettinmeback56]

I guess im still in shock a little, before xmas we bought a house, she came off the pill and we went to look at engagement rings, eve when we split she said that she wanted us to sort things out in the future, then in 1 week week it completely changed, it went from i still love you to i have no feelings for you anymore anymore, i just dont get it.

 

I didnt want to open the wound again like this tonight, i wanted to pour my heart out without getting torn to shreds

 

 

 

Don't leave yourself exposed to get hurt again.

[stevef20]

by who gettin?

[stevef20]

penelope, you are right, it is easier but not what i was hoping for.

[hotnspicychikn]

I miss so many things about my husband but he is no longer the man that loved me and willingly gave me affection etc. Reaching out to him now would only bring me more pain because he no longer wants to give me anything. It hurts but being rejected over and over again hurts more. I am sorry you are struggling Steve but the pain will pass and contacting her will only make it more painful. Hang in their man!

[penelope13]

What are you hoping for?

[stevef20]

Thanks Hot,

 

Penelope, i guess just a shoulder for a while, ive offered mine enough. perhaps posting tonight was wrong, its no ones fault.

[gettinmeback56]

Thanks Hot,

 

Penelope, i guess just a shoulder for a while, ive offered mine enough. perhaps posting tonight was wrong, its no ones fault.

 

Posting wasn't wrong, it was better for you to post than contact your ex.

[penelope13]

Actually people understand you better than you probably believe at the moment. That's probably why you get strong reactions: not to say that you are wrong for feeling how you are, but trying to keep you from adding to your pain, since they have been exactly were you are right now.

 

I can physically feel the pain you are going through right now: you had high hopes of love, only to find out that it was an illusion. It seems your life is in shamble. That nothing seems to be real. You start doubting everything that you ever believed in. The pain is so intense that you feel you can't get enough air. It hurts just to imagine how much energy it will cost just to get through the next hour.

 

Your whole body and soul doesn't want to believe what you are going through and there is a small part in you that whispers, maybe you were wrong, maybe this is all just a terrible nightmare, maybe if you send just one more text you will wake up from this horror, because she will realize what a terrible mistake she has made and that you are the one and only for her and that from then on everything will be smooth sailing.

 

We all have been there. And many of us had to experience that giving in to the urge of contacting them, only gives you temporary relief, but that the pain only increases as soon as the realization kicks in again that they have rejected us.

 

So rest assured that people completely understand where you are coming from. And it's really good to have people to go to, who will give you the necessary strength and stop you from something that in all likelihood is going to hurt you more.

[stevef20]

Wow, thanks Penelope.

[dramallama]

I think if an ex growls at you and asks you to leave her alone, you really couldn't get a clearer signal to leave her alone. If you act on your impulse and contact her, then you are NOT respecting her need for space, ESPECIALLY as she clearly told you to leave her alone. It just comes accross like, "I know you told me to never talk to you again, but what about meeeeee? I NEED you! I kinda sorta respect your opinion but I am going to break contact even though you told me that you would like to be left alone, because in my mind, MY needs are important than yours."

 

If you really look at it, if you contact her it IS selfish because you are neither respecting her judgement and that what she has done is the best decision for HER apparently, and you are not respecting her need for space by violating her boundaries when she clearly expressed them to you.