hurtgurl Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Dear Diary, It has been around 4/5 weeks since the ? breakup. I say breakup, more like the ignoring It is only now day 2 since total No Contact. I've been ignoring the computer to try stop any temptation to send messages. I have changed my phone number so he cannot contact me! I am starting to feel a little down tonight. The thought of never speaking to him in any form again. I'm still very much in love with him despiite all of the last few weeks. I still don't understand what went wrong I want to get through this as easy as possible and I really don't want to contact him and keep demeaning myself and my little bit of self respect that I have left. I've asked him every possible question with still no understandable answer. I've abused him, I've been nice to him, I've made myself look pathetic and weak to him!!! And I still have no answers, so tis the time to build myself up and let him and the past go. But all that said and done, it is much easier said than done. I love him. I've tried to think of all his not so good qualities but it doesn't work. I just can't stop loving him. I don't know, I really don't. I just miss him. I miss him lots. Is going to be a very very hard few days. Please help me to get better diary...... Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Omg honey, I know how you feel...im going through exactly the same thing with my gf...you can read up on all my posts for the full details....its hard...so hard. But well make it....soon the hurt will die down some...then eventually be gone....if ya need support hit me up we can compare stories and bash then for being fools .... Cause from what you said I think we are in the same boat...and if you stop and think about it...its just bull * * * * . Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Hello darling, It's your big southern friend, I've come to give you hugzzzz. Listen hon, you don't need to think ill of him or put the bad bits at the front of your mind, why? Because it just won't help, these first few days are about dying inside and somehow getting through it. You are going to think of all the good bits and have lots more questions, that's ok, its normal, the will power has to kick in though and you must not contact him. When the hellish time starts to subside that will be because you are starting to accept things and running out of good things to think about. This is normal to. Let's start this process now hon, you and me, pm me, post here, whatever it takes, I want to help you, please allow me to. Steve Link to comment
hurtgurl Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 Thanks everyone. Am trying so hard but when I stop being busy doing nothing in particular it hits me!! I could sure do with some understanding friends!! Steve you are an Angel!!! And you are doing fab. Thank you for your hug I've got through day 2 and we've never not spoke for more than two days..... ever, so if I get through tomorrow I will be really pleased, sad but pleased 3 days No contact is my mini goal Gonna watch a horror film soon to take my mind off things Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I know a great horror film, I think its called mama MIA Link to comment
ladyninja30 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I think this whole thread of people are all in the same boat, so everyone currently hurting has my sympathy...and my ear if need be. Link to comment
conde Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I know its tough to get through a break up, but know that their will always be light at the end of the tunnel. As time goes feelings change and new people appear. A lot of people say to really feel the pain, and you should because it is the only way you will get through the worst part. Don't run from your emotions, as time goes you will be able to answer those questions on your own and you will learn from them and better yourself for the next person. Good luck to you, don't give in keep NC and you'll be fine. Just know that you living shows that you don't need him in your life to keep surviving. Link to comment
hurtgurl Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 Dear Diary..... Am lying on the floor in the dark, tv off, struggling, I reeeeally want to just text him to see if he still exsists!!! Gawd this is horrible with a capital H!!!!! Bet he isn't even giving me a second thought Link to comment
ladyninja30 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Dear Diary..... Am lying on the floor in the dark, tv off, struggling, I reeeeally want to just text him to see if he still exsists!!! Gawd this is horrible with a capital H!!!!! Bet he isn't even giving me a second thought I did exactly the same thing. I woke up to him having changed his status to being in a relationship with her 1 week after he left me..oh god the salt in the open wound. I layed on my floor flat on my back and bawling and continued to lay there so distraught that I seriously to this day have no idea how long I layed there like that, I only remember that I finally got up to pee. I couldn't eat much of anything if at all for like 2 weeks. Stay strong and work through the pain, it hurts like hell and it's hard but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I'm here if you ever need to talk. "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe Link to comment
hurtgurl Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Dear Diary.... Please help me to get through day 3!!! Am missing him terribly this morning still and am wandering what he is doing. Thanks to all replies, they are really helping me to do this xx Link to comment
hurtgurl Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Well diary... did I get through day 3?? NOPE am I stupid ......YEP Have I got to start all over again now.....Yep!! Not only have I got to start NC again and stick to it, I am back at work tomorrow. So I feel wuuuunderfull tonight I just keep letting myself down Link to comment
fire2therain Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 How have you been doing today hurtgurl? Better? Have you been keeping yourself distracted? I gotta say, the first week is usually the hardest IMO but once the first week passes you will feel so proud of yourself and you'll be wanting to keep going. As to missing him and wondering what he's doing--that is completely normal. Let yourself feel this way, then change your thoughts. Try your hardest to not think about him. This is the time to be selfish girly, it'll take a little bit to not wonder what he's up to, but in the end who cares what he's doing? In the end he won't matter anymore. Just think of your goal, keep your eye on the prize. Link to comment
fire2therain Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Well diary... did I get through day 3?? NOPE am I stupid ......YEP Have I got to start all over again now.....Yep!! Not only have I got to start NC again and stick to it, I am back at work tomorrow. So I feel wuuuunderfull tonight I just keep letting myself down okay i didn't see that post but now i'll rewrite it don't be so hard on yourself. you see how breaking NC sucks, so use this experience as a learning experience. Don't contact him anymore. When you're at work, completely involve yourself in it. I know that's SO hard but you can do it. And I'll say it again, don't be so hard on yourself. We all do something in our breakups that we regret later, lmao trust me you aren't alone on that one! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Listen to fire hurt, you did something you regret, so what? It doesn't matter hon, you love him and are trying with your life to sort things out, its normal. You know nc is the way but until you're ready in your own mind don't fight what's natural. You know I'm here Steve Link to comment
hurtgurl Posted May 3, 2011 Author Share Posted May 3, 2011 Dear diary.... Back to day 1 again! Let see how it goes. Thanks peeps, am trying not to be too hard on myself re breaking NC.xx Link to comment
hurtgurl Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I feel really down and lonely today Link to comment
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