When dumpers leave for someone else, can this still be considered as a rebound?

[endy]

I don't believe in fate or destiny not in the way you are speaking of it anyways. There's one destiny for all people to realize. Anything and everything is always possible as everyone has free will. Which also means there's no gauruntee that any relationship will ever last forever... Actually I can gauruntee that none of them physically last forever. They are all eventually seperated by death.

 

You need to look at it as she is with someone else. You need to be your strength and you are capable of it. It's just going to take some deep looking and time.

[Fadedlife]

My ex had what i consider a rebound.

 

5 years together and a baby daughter just 6 months old. Last couple of months leading to the her leaving she was very very distant, i put it down to having the child and called the nurse to speak to her, she lost the plot with me about doing such a thing even though id explained i recognised things were not right and was trying to help in any way i could as it was clear she was being very very cold towards me.

I guess her losing it with me let me know she knew exaclty what the issue was.

I tried in vain to comfort her and help her but she just would not communicate with me in anyway other than be awkward and cold.

Almost forcing an issue between us both, which then gave her the go ahead to do what she did, very orchestrated and intentional.

What felt like within a day or so i was getting the messages she is now in a relationship with someone else!

How could anyone do that to a person so soon after becoming parents and purposely making that commitment to become parents together?!?!

 

I was devastated beyond belief, so dark was that time i dont remember much about myself or what i was doing in the aftermath.

I begged and pleaded then walked after a few weeks of pursuing her, with only limted contact for child purposes.

Within 4 weeks for them, it was all over! he was admitted to AE having taken a huge overdose, he was then sectioned for a couple of months from what i hear.

She came back to me in tears some months later after we had kept in contact, claiming what a mess she had made and wanted to work things out, no sorry, no apology, almost as though 'lets forget what happened and move on', i tried and got us counselling but she never admitted what she did and still never has to this day.

Her mum ended up telling me what she was upto, when she was meeting this guy etc

It never worked out and again i was the one forced to tell her to stop it all as it was sending me mad.

She forced me both times to make the decision and twisted the situation to make it possible for her not to have to do it herself. Selfish B***H!

 

A few months after that whilst all is still emotional i get the same messages, shes in a relationship with someone else.

Over time i learn to be civil as we have a daughter, have had the odd argument with the new fella (initiated by him) about my place as a father and that i wont be going anywhere anytime soon in respect of my child and wont be needing any more dads.

 

that was all 10+ years ago and they are still together but clinging on for dear life by the sounds of things.

 

Have maintained to be civil around her after she offered me friendship (ill learn from that long winded mistake)for the past 10+ years but just over 3 months ago whilst in her long term relationship she thought it wise to start bringing up all the nice things we used to, put her arm around me etc.

Ive disppeared totally from all visual and verbal contact, serial cheater used in a wasy to give her the ability to make her feel strong by making others do the dirty work so she has no decsions to make? maybe she was just chatting breeze but felt like she was lining up her next move and i think she had me in that plan!!

Im outta there and quick time. the sad thing is, we had what i consider an amazing relationship throughout uptil that point with the odd flap here n there but always dealt with it properly and i still do love her even after all these years but im not an exit strategy nor a shoulder to lean on anymore. So again i feel she forced me to have to walk away after so many years of being civil for our childs sake.

 

Rebound, didnt work for her, in fact it failed to the extent where it almost cost people there lives due to how she was treating myself and others! how sad for her and still no sorrow from her ignorant lips.

 

As for the relationship now with her, she been with him 9 years or so but it never seemed that intense and they really dont seem happy together. i thought this too would be a rebound but it seems not, or if it is its a hell of along one!

I only just recently walked away and thats when all the mums side of emotions have started flooding out about how lonely she is (she is in a long term relationship, longer than our own was) and that she feels shes made a mess of everything. i was not told this, my daughter was told this last week when her mum broke down to her one morning.

 

The reality im gone is hitting home i think with her, took me a while to get there having a child but im there and on the home stretch to freedom.

 

Glad thats off my chest and helps myself realise my own situation by writing this and posting it.

[endy]

I thank god that she had a misscarriage. Who knows how I would have handled it having a kid with this woman. Probably ok, but it would have been a hell of a lot more painful. People that rebound and lie are cowards in my opinion. It doesn't mean they are that bad. They are just ignorant to the pain that they cause and are unwilling to look within usually. Hopefully for them, one day they will learn.

[sushigirlie]

Thank you for posting this. I agree completely with your reflections

[Jatli]

Bump this good one