The worst day of my life.

[cutleftbicept]

imagine having a girlfriend that you were pretty seriously in love with, the kind of love that makes you feel like you are a special person in this world, if only to one person.

 

you give 110% to the relationship. you arent perfect, but when it comes to you two, you give it your all. you talk to her when there's a problem, you console her when she needs it, and you laugh so hard you cry with her.

 

it was the perfect relationship on the surface, really. no matter who you are reading this, you know.

 

but then imagine something different. imagine that for about the last 6-8 months, this girl has done really stupid things at parties. things like getting really really drunk and scumming on other people, maybe your friends. the next morning she plays it off like nothing happened, hoping to avoid the issue.

 

at the same time, there is an entirely different thing happening in this relationship. it would take hours to hash it all out, but lets say that this girl started having feelings for someone else. someone you knew, well. this other person happened to be a hot girl. this other girl is in a relationship of over 5 years, too. this other girl asks your girlfriend to take off their clothes and explore some stuff, drunk.

 

you are in san francisco the night that this happens by the way, on business, the night of your 6 month anniversary.

 

fast forward to yesterday, the worst day ever. you invite a friend to a baseball game in town, have a couple beers and taunt the opposing batters. you get back to your girlfriend's new house where she is partying with some friends. you go out and get some booze for the shindig. its a descent lil party. then everyone goes to a birthday party for this kid down the street. everyone is there. you have fun meeting new people and hanging out with old friends. but your girlfriend has struck up a conversation with some random girl. they spend an hour talking and laughing. you're used to her doing this around you in social situations, by the way.

 

you finally get her alone for a minute, and she asks you to go to the bathroom with her. you have some fun in there, a lot of sexual stuff, but almost casual. this has never really happened before. you then go back to the party very invigorated and happy and reassured. she disappears again.

 

at the end of the night you are all ready to leave, but she wants to stay and have fun. you've heard this before, knowing its an excuse of sorts. you decide to stick around the party in the background as everything dies down. your friends all walk back home. you've had to spy on her before, many times, to see what she was doing at parties when you werent there. you did this because you honestly didnt trust her in those situations, for good reasons.

 

she starts dancing, grinding with three or four other people. after a while they stop. you ask her if she wants to dance with you. she says no. she then disappears down stairs to the basement with a girl, one she had met earlier that night. you go down to the basement a minute later. no one there... huh. oh, wait. they're coming out of the back of the basement like they were in a hurry, wiping their shirts and mouths, neither of them giving you eye contact.

 

you take her upstairs, and within 10 minutes, she is down there again. this time they are in a small bedroom with the lights off and the door shut. you open the door and again they separate like roaches when the light turns on. the other girl acts civil. but with your girl, you sit down and she acts like absolutely nothing is going on. at this point you are so sick to your stomach, scared, pissed off, and enraged, that you finally get the balls to leave with her. she leaves to smoke with that girl outside, you behind flabergasted, shocked, and wanting to die. passive, no words, no need to talk. you finally get a chance to talk with her and say "let's have it out, right here, now". the only words she utters are "i like girls, and you're just going to have to deal with it". you turn your face to the side and walk away past a church and school to your car.

 

you are crying so loud the dogs are barking, too.

 

she isnt there when you turn around to try and say something.

 

i couldnt cry last night because i was feeling 24 different things at once. so i started making little cuts into my arm, in order to make myself feel physical pain, enough to cry. when i woke up i was alone, hungover, and didnt know if it was over or not.

 

i guess im asking for advice, but i really want to know if there are people out there who have experienced this same thing. i have my share of problems with our relationship, im a little over-bearing because of her past indiscretions and i am horrible with finances. her and i compliment each other very well. i dont want to get drunk because i will start to think about everything i just spewed out, again, and probably cry. maybe the more love and forgiveness and human spirit that you put into a relationship, the more that it can be lost if that relationship is over... thats what hollywood and your parents cant tell you. maybe it all gets taken away...

[jurupa]

I would sit down and have a talk with her. She may be going thru a phrase or may actually perfer girls sexually. But I think it would be best to have a talk and make her talk about it. But when you do talk to her make it clear that who just want to understand whats going on.

[dontknowwhattodo]

I heard you. My friend had the same expericence with his ex-girlfirend whom he was seeing for 6 years. You should talk to her and if thing doesn't work out, leave her for good. It is a pain that you have to deal with this but move on.

[Mike_Wazowski]

Well..i'm the last one to give you advice since i am a lying, cheating on my wife loser...but.....if there is No TRUST in your relationship...then why continue?

 

Also..when you look at this girl...and you think about the future, is she the one you want to bear your children and live the rest of your life with?

 

i'm sure you can find better....Also, with regards to the 'Cuttting' thing.....Dude....if a girl drives you to the point where you need to 'Cut' yourself...then you really need to walk away from that relationship and find someone you can talk too! Good Luck!

[Day_Walker]

well the first thing you have to do is get a clear head. That may take some time but you need to make decisions when you are in the right frame of mind. Lets think this through clearly you said "past indescretions" first of all this is a red flag. When a person cheats it means they are dissatisfied with the current status of the relationship. At key moments such as this you want to end the relationship. Do not put up with a person cheating on you, not matter how much they beg and plead. You definitely need to step back and take a look at what this female has done to you and realize that she isnt the person for you. I would also suggest that you take some time away from females are realize somethings about your self and possibly get some counselling to help you deal with anything that you need to get off your chest.

[squarepeg]

She sounds like a totally awful person that has zero respect for you.

 

Ditch her and run.