Guys like me, now what?

[georgie77889]

 

 

I never had guys look twice at me, but things have changed. I've begun to take care of myself. I have a job, I keep active, I'm pretty, smart with potential, and I have a good personality-- once I open up. But I'm not used to receiving guys' attention, and I don't know what to do with it. The bigger problem is that I have little confidence. I don't understand why a guy would want to be with me. Logically, I can list the reasons, but they don't mean much to me because I've never truly loved myself. I just don't feel my worth. I should be in control and in acceptance of myself, but I need some motivation. And meanwhile, I'm getting lonely because I want to date and find out what's out there, but this is holding me back.

 

Everything takes time, but sometimes we need a push. Anyone have any stories? Or any words of wisdom?

[splendidlylost]

I know how that feels. I used to be that guy who stood against the wall at dances and whatnot. Thanks to a general improvement of everything, I'm doing a lot better now.

 

You mentioned a lack in confidence, right? Well, it seems like the lack of confidence is an overall problem, not just isolated to dating. Funny thing is, you answered your own question with the first 2 lines of your post!

"I've begun to take care of myself. I have a job, I keep active, I'm pretty, smart with potential, and I have a good personality-- once I open up."

 

All of that- that's why guys want to be with you. No guy in their right mind wants to be with a girl who's dumb as bricks, can't take care of herself, and has an awful personality.

 

I'm still getting used to girls thinking I'm attractive (even after hearing it for years now), and there's nothing wrong with not being used to it. If you're not used to it, you'll still remain modest. And as for motivation, well, YOU are your own best motivation. You can't improve the lives of other people until you're secure in yourself. You're halfway there with all of the improvements you've talked about.

[little242]

I hear you. I'm still working on this one as well. I just hope that you at least live in a town that has as many guys as girls.

I guess take things slow, that way you get to feel comfortable with the guy. And if you get any "gut feelings" that something is not right don't be afraid to speak to the guy about it. I think you'll find that guys are kind of scared too even though I still find it hard to believe.

Most importantly, you have so much going for you especially having brains, that is key.

So don't be scared you have a lot to offer you'll be fine.

 

[neva_black_n_white]

Wow a different side to the coin, often you see people who change and then lap up the attention but you seem to have grown but not actually taken advantage of it, i think that most people have different ways with dealing with things, and i think maybe straight off dating might not be the ideal for you, you say that you get the attention, but is it the right sort of attention, to you feel that you could be able to form a friendship first with some of these men before dating? you said that you were all of these things but once you open up, and i feel that some people can open up on dates but often not to there true or natural asste but general subjection conversation, i think personally gaining a friendhsip that is close, could intergate you into a more male society but also at a more comfortable rate. that would be my words of wisdom anyway.

 

kel