stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Hi everyone, I'm day 30 nc today and am not having a good day. I'm trying so hard not to think about her but she's on my mind 24/7. I really do feel like my world has gone, I loved and continue to love this girl so much, I miss her and us. I know she's not coming back and I want her to be happy. Should I still feel so much for her after this time and all the pain that carries with it by having to let go? I hope everyone is ok today. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 steve..... 30 days is a masive step be proud and make it 31!!!! you're trying hard man....let me tell you, she will be on your mind, but i swear, a month or so it will be less, 2 months even more.....i used to think of her 24/7 and yesterday i was 4 hours from going one whole day! your world has gone, now what ya gonna do to get it back? sc..re..w her happiness think about you and yours!!!!!! yes you will, you loved my man, you invested and you had a heart, its normal, its also normal for that to fade, i cant wait for 2-3 months and we will be talking and you'll be like jonesy...i finally found my nuts man....i am a man after all!!!!!! you are nowhere near letting go...but you'll get there! believe me] jonesy Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 Thank you jonesy as always, you've been a good friend to me. I'm going through hell right now but if I do come through this as you say then a lot of thanks will be for you. Steve Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 no no its all u man....and its WHEN ALWAYS WHEN you come through jonesy Link to comment
kingofatlantis Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Most people would break before 30 days! you're doing great Steve and it will most definitely get better. Picture the healing process as a parabola on a graph, the pain gets stronger but eventually will hit a max or turning point and soon you'll start feeling happy and better about your life and the pain subsides. I'm 3 months post break-up 1 month of stupid begging and trying to get her back and after sitting back with my blinded vision gone I realized she wasn't worth the pining or my care. If you have bad days work out! exercising is great post-breakup it creates endorphins which makes you feel happy and great. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 Thanks king, it never hurts to hear other people have got through this nightmare on earth. Thanks my friend Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 keep going bro....my hands are on your back pushing you up this hill, and will never take them away...imagine us all as bike stabalizers...when you're ready we'll let take em off so you can ride alone...!!! keep going man you're doing fine! jonesy Link to comment
kingofatlantis Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 yup like jonesy said! you're climbing a tough hill some of us are at the top others at the bottom and everywhere else in-between. The ones at the top will be rooting you on pushing you to hit the summit and some people will climb down to give you an extra push to the top. Everyone is here for you and you'll succeed without a doubt! Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Well there's a saying that if you want NOT to think about something then you permanently think about it. So you know I've noticed that I'm thinking about my ex only and only when I have nothing to do. For example I'm alone in the evenings after job. So you still need to find more physical job to do. If you can't think what to do, then go and ask your relatives to give you some job to do instead of them (they will give it, believe me). And when your head is thinking about what you're doing (work) then you unconsciously don't think about your ex. Another thing - I know why you are so sad about those 30 days. It's like a full month passed and she didn't contacted you yet so you thought "how long should I wait for it more?" Please, don't count these days. I know I do it myself, but it really doesn't help. You will forget her only when you will not think how much days passed when she left you. Go do something valuable! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 That's very true new. Thank-you. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I'm so proud of you steve. i know exactly how your feeling and to make it this far is huge. i've only been on NC 4 days and as you know every single day i've wanted to "harass" my ex. I believe that you'll get over this. I hope this doesn't make me look like weird crazy person, but something i've been doing lately is having fake conversations with him out loud. it reiterates the things he's been saying to me and i try to put myself in his shoes emotionally, then when i hear myself say those things he's been saying to me, i think what the heck is wrong with you, why are you trying to settling for that. its really weird but helps with the pain. Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 im on the road right now. broke contact on saturday n saw her sunday. i was good about it all. i feel myself coming back. was def. non chalant about us. it is tough going on day 2 of no contact again and today is a really tuff day, lots of things going on that i want to talk to her about. im texting everyone i know right now so i dont text her. love that girl so much but i let go n part of letting go with love is to respect there privacy n space that they asked for as hard as it is to do. gotta do it for her but especially for me. after 8 years of constant contact with living with eachother then to just drop all contact and act like enemies is def. the hardest thing i have done in life. she is constantly on my mind. but i also know that i am on her mind as well. and i am sure it is hard for her not to contact me. she told me it was. heck after seeing her sundayand talking with her n her family she texted me twice sunday night.. so trust me it is hard for both people. i was the one who screwed up herew. i drank to much n abused her when i drank. not drinking nomore n seeking help for me. almost 3 months now. she sees this n reconises what i am doing. she has noone n either do i. we are both just working on ourselves. do i think there might be a chance for a new relationship with her. sure i will always hole to that hope. hope is what keeps me going. but i am not counting on it. i am counting on me getting better n sober. n her to heal n foregive. this would be the only way we could ever start something new in the future and going no contact for a while would certainly help my situation. but i am almost sure if i contact her she would respond. but what is the point of that? nothing changed sinced being with her on sunday. she does not want to come back. nor do i want her back right now. too much self help still to do. so all in all yes very hard guys. yes i really think she was the one still. i screwed it up. not her and it sucks and hurts big time the only way i can show her is by what i am doing now with my life. dont get me wrong our relationship was not always abusive. but it was always a codependent relationship on both parts n we had to break that bad habbit. i just never seen it till i got sober. now that i am i see all what was happning. i waas not drunk everyday. 3-4 days a week i was though. the best part about all of this is i do not even crave a drink. so God blessed me there. i wish us all the best in what ever is in the futuere for us. heck i met a nice girl saturday. nice to feel someone is attracted too you after a rejection. do i want to continue with her. no. i love my ex still and want to see what my future holds for me... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 Ralton, That is a very honest post my friend. Thank-you for sharing it with us. I wish you all the luck in the world. Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 thanks. i am on the road at a job site. so this was through my phone. this how bad i am today. but i am 100% better than just 2 weeks ago. did not contact her so all good. plus it is like a roller coaster ride. just hang on. listen the first month i did everything wrong. i chased her an everyway possible then repeated..lol.. now nope nada. nothing. no point to. just need to fix me. i just regret what i have done. and of course the old saying of i would do things different if i only knew what i know now.. God how true is that.. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 Can't stop thinking about her and I'm at work, this sucks Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Can't stop thinking about her and I'm at work, this sucks ditto my friend, i actually have to talk and be nice, do the thought stopping thing Link to comment
ChellyV Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 its tough as it is still relatively fresh. keep trying, and remember, this too shall pass. with determination you will just wake up one day and wonder oh, did i think about her today? like you, i know mine will never come back. and its better that way. you know, the first time we broke up, i knew that there might still be hope and so i kept clinging to the thoughts of him. this time however, i knew we both reached the point of no return. and i guess thats the turning point for me also. i do have sad moments like you, but be optimistic! things will get better for you. if anything, a break up opens up doors for a better person to come in! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 Thanks Chelly but it doesnt feel that way Link to comment
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