Is there any way i can help my friend?

[Annalise]

I have been best friends with someone for many years, he was always quiet and never discussed his feelings much. Over the past 2 years hes been suffering from depression quite badly. Today he hinted that he had been sexually abused as a very young child. i'm worried, he says he 'doesn't want to go there'. i dont blame him but hes been so miserable and i dont think hed have bought it up unless he wanted a response from me. he was vague and i dont know if i should ask him about it outright. I hate to think that somthing horrible happened to him Any ideas?

[Gunther]

that is a difficult situation, he obviously wants to talk about it. Like you said, he wouldnt bring it up if he didnt. My only fear about asking him strait-out is the fear that pressing the subject may make him clam up and never talk about it.

[i_hate_the_world47]

This is a hard subject to talk about.but if your friend brought it up chances are he wants to talk about it.But dont push him to talk about it.Let your friend come to you.Good luck.

 

~meagan~

[Kinjy]

I have been posting recently about my concerns for my sister, who has an abusive partner.

 

The advice I have received from people has been of great comfort to me.

I feel completely helpless and cannot seem to get through to my sister, but people here have assured me there is nothing I can do except be there for her.

 

I believe you should do this for your friend. If he is dropping hints, he wants to talk, believe me- I have seen the same happen with my sister and several friends who have been through hard times.

 

All you can do is reassure him that you will be there to listen when he wants to talk and that he can place his trust in you. You seem like a wonderful, caring friend and this is obviously upsetting you very much.

 

When he does open up, prepare yourself to hear the worst. Don't pressure him, allow him to talk at his own pace, chances are, it'll emerge in dribs and drabs. All you can do is listen, offer a shoulder to cry on and not think any differently of him for what may have happened to him in the past.

Treat your friend as you always have done- that is the first step to continuing the trust he has found in you.

 

Offer as much love and support as you can and remember, if he does confess his secrets, he is sharing a burden that has been with him for so long. A problem shared is a problem halved. It takes a lot of trust and respect for that, so he must regard you very highly.

 

Good Luck!

[kimberly31]

if nothing else works you could tell him about this web site and he may come here and even read others responses to other people and that could get the ball rolling for him and help him to feel that he's not alone