Should I move on or should I still wait for his explanation?

[trish14]

This is just an update to my previous post in Long distance relationship forum with a subject: My bf doesn't care anymore. I tried the NC rule but it didn't worked for me, so, I just tried to communicate with him for I want to know the status of our relationship. Still, he did not make any effort to reply to my text messages and he keeps on rejecting my calls.

 

For me to know what have happened to us and where I should stand in this relationship, I decided to wrote him a letter. In my letter, I told him everything that I feel , all the rejections that I've been receiving and how I still want to make things work for both of us. I even apologized to him for falling short of his expectations and then I told him that he's free.

 

I set him free not because I don't love him anymore but because I know he's not happy with me anymore. Although, I'm still in love with him the relationship that we used to have will no longer work knowing that he doesn't feel the same way anymore. I'm sure he got my letter and still he didn't do anything.

 

Then, after 2 days, a common friend of ours got a chance to talk to him and guess what? He told her that he has a new girlfriend and when he was asked if we have already talked about "us", his reply was " I don't want to waste my time talking to her or explaining to her". Whew!

I never expected him doing this to me. Everything happened so fast! How can a love that is so sweet vanished in just 3 weeks (the problem with our communication started just 3 weeks ago when he transferred to his new work)? I know that I should start moving on but I don't know where and how to start. ..I still feel I deserve his explanation. I want to know what went wrong… Should I start moving on or should I still wait for his explanation?

 

Please give me your views and opinion about this matter, I know I'll get something from it. Thank you in advance.

[Free Lancer]

Sorry to be cruel... but you have to be cruel to be kind... you said

 

he did not make any effort to reply to my text messages and he keeps on rejecting my calls.

 

It seems to me you saying should I wait for an explanation is a bit pointless... If he hasn't spoken to you by now he won't speak to you... and the fact that he told your friend...

I don't want to waste my time talking to her or explaining to her

Just shows that he is a stupid f@#%... You HAD this beautiful thing that he has given NO RESPECT AT ALL TO... you're doing the nice thing and waiting... BUT don't, Like Aretha Franklin says All I'm asking is for a little Respect...

 

Don't put up with him... move on... you'll feel so much better with time

[if only]

The same thing happened to me, my ex broke up with me after a 5 year relationship his reason was to be single as he had always been in a relationship.

 

I have some brilliant friends that helped me through it all and I tried my hardest to let him go, my friend told me if you set him free and he comes back then it was true, I gave him space and tried to move on. 3 months of NC and I find out he had a new GF.

 

As I am stronger it did not hurt so much, I really feel for you now. I even saw them out together and went over and said hello to both of them, I realise that it was not him I missed anymore but the relationship we had.

 

Well I go about the way I was, getting on with things and find out he actually went on his first date with her the day we split!!! what a looser! why lie even at the end? within a week he was with her. I wanted explanations as now I do not know why we broke up. His reason was he wanted to be single was not true.

 

I came on this board and asked for advise the best advise I got from Saren was:

 

Hmm...

 

I had a lot of questions once, and one day someone asked me, "Does it really matter at this point?" I guess what he was meaning to say is that you may never get the answer if they don't give it, and you may still feel you need closure.

 

If you get no answers, create your own closure by just walking on and breaking those ties. Not necessarily forever, if you wish, but until you get your headspace back.

 

This is so true, but I had already contacted him and what he said didn't make any difference. At the end of the day any reason they give you will never be good enough as you are not the one giving the reasons.

 

I know it hurts but I promise it gets better.