Allyo Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Every time I hear about a “friends with benefits” situation it is about a woman concerning a man of interest. Do men also get stuck in friends with benefits situations? Where they are with a woman physically yet earn for more commitment from her part? I have yet to hear of one! This just seems to be evidence to me that things are far from equal in the dating world. What is it about women that lets us get stuck in this sort of situation? Not all women or men are the same, obviously… but what is up with this trend? Link to comment
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Both men I've slept with casually grew more emotionally attached to me than I did to them. The first one I cut off contact completely because he was so annoying and overbearing with texts and calls and wanting to see me. The second I was more fond of and enjoyed spending time with, but never felt very deep feelings. He on the other hand called me his soul mate, all kinds of pet names, often hinted at marriage and kids, and was incredibly insecure about me interacting with any other guys. I tried dating him for a few months but we were just not a good match beyond sexually. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Every time I hear about a “friends with benefits” situation it is about a woman concerning a man of interest. Do men also get stuck in friends with benefits situations? Where they are with a woman physically yet earn for more commitment from her part? I have yet to hear of one! This just seems to be evidence to me that things are far from equal in the dating world. What is it about women that lets us get stuck in this sort of situation? Not all women or men are the same, obviously… but what is up with this trend? Men and women are not equal, never have been and never will be. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 It is with increasing frequency being women in this power position... Link to comment
Stay_home Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Dogs get stuck in FWB situations, so of course men do. But remember, it takes two to have sex; nobody can hurt you without your permission. Link to comment
Yaz Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Men and women are not equal, never have been and never will be. ^^ Agreed. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I find them more fitting then a relationship. I get so emotionally drained in a relationship....they always take! I get freakin tired of always giving, so I find the FWB a reward. We both get sex, and no disappointment to come later on. Being in love has always seemed to hurt more then it was worth. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No, its not as unequal as you think, as other posters pointed out. Link to comment
LostnConfused Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I want more from my EX GF, but she can't give it to me. We're FWB and the more I have sex with her the more I can detach myself emotionally. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 ^can or cant detach yourself? Link to comment
LostnConfused Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 ^can or cant detach yourself? Can. It's funny because I thought I couldn't handle it at first, but 3 weeks in and I've begun to compartmentalize it all. I remember reading that men who have sex with a women with no emotional attachment end up having to deal with a flight instinct. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Can. It's funny because I thought I couldn't handle it at first, but 3 weeks in and I've begun to compartmentalize it all. I remember reading that men who have sex with a women with no emotional attachment end up having to deal with a flight instinct. what does that mean? Flight instinct? Link to comment
LostnConfused Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 what does that mean? Flight instinct? In general I think it's the urge to leave. Personally, after we have sex I feel less attached to her. It's almost like a feeling of disgust, but not quite. I think knowing that I'm not in a committed loving relationship cheapened the experience after the fact. When we were together I felt closer to her after sex. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Ohhh. I hear ya, Ive def felt that b4 Link to comment
TakingtheBlame Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Men and women are not equal, never have been and never will be. What do you mean by this? If you mean that men and women are not, for lack of a better word, "wired" the same as one another, then I completely agree. I think men and women are physically, mentally, and emotionally distinct as a result of certain roles within the family unit that they've evolved to fit over time. However, if you mean that one gender is better or worse than the other, then I disagree. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'd never use the word "stuck," personally. I got everything I wanted out of my FWB situations. Or rather, everything I could realistically get. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Basically, what it means is that the more we humans detach our emotions from sex, the more difficult it becomes for us to develop those emotional bonds necessary to develop committed long term relationships. Link to comment
D3tail Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Every time I hear about a “friends with benefits” situation it is about a woman concerning a man of interest. Do men also get stuck in friends with benefits situations? Where they are with a woman physically yet earn for more commitment from her part? I have yet to hear of one! This just seems to be evidence to me that things are far from equal in the dating world. What is it about women that lets us get stuck in this sort of situation? Not all women or men are the same, obviously… but what is up with this trend? Happens yes, it just looks different. Because the man will get very needy and clingy in this situation. So the girl ends it. Men usually don't, women do...a woman can get FWB literally around any corner, for men its at least slightly more difficult so they'll hold on longer. FWB doesn't last. One party begins to be attracted to the other. Sometimes the man, sometimes the woman. Link to comment
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