I dont know how to deal with this pain..

[ErekaGrl621]

I dont even know how to describe how hurt and alone I feel right now. My ex keeps messing with my head, telling me he cant live without me and how he is going insane without me..then he changes his mind a day later. I get over him and try to move on and he does this to me. Last night he told me he is so sorry and wants to be with me and get married..then called me at 2:00 a.m. and said he was wrong. My heart is gone..I am so numb with pain..I dont even know what to do. Please someone I am begging for an answer.

[JohnLeFou]

Let me be the first to say what the HELL is that man doing to you? I think he is abusing you. He may enjoy swaping your joy for pain and back. For some men this makes them feel powerful, and makes them feel more secure to have control over someone. First off, if he has never been serious about this stuff, don't take him serious. Just keep the thought "This is most likely complete bs" in your mind. Be objective. Consider what he is saying, did he say it before? and if so did he mean it or follow though?

 

There is another side to this though. Not everything is the other person's fault in all cases. My family has gone though a similar situation. Codependance could be an issue. Basically this means that you want to please him. Does that not sound so bad? You may be addicted to him. Does that sound better? You may actually love him, but in a way that prevents you from being happy. It isn't being selfish to have some of your own happiness in mind. If he does want to be with you, he might get off his but to make you feel good, while not forcing you to take care of his needs for control, pleasure, or money, or all three. Make sure you are objective, even if you do want to be with him, think if it is right for your happiness. "My heart is gone..I am so numb with pain..I dont even know what to do. Please someone I am begging for an answer." Does that man sound like he makes you happy?

[Christi84]

Hi ErekaG*rl621

 

I feel your pain, I've been there and not so long ago. I understand the situation you are in and I have to say that I think the best way for you to take a stand against his emotional abuse (which is what it is..he's toying with your emotions) is to initiate NO CONTACT with this person. It's alot easier to say than do I know, but you have to BE STRONG and know that if there's any chance of you getting through this then it has to be done. Stop all contact with him, surround yourself with your closests friends or family members, people you know you are happy with. Stay busy, find a new hobby. Do something for yourself and push this out of your mind. After awhile you should begin to feel better about yourself and empowered. Realize that YOU have control over yourself, especially your feelings and tell yourself you're not going to let him control them again. After this, the next time you face him you'll feel like a whole new person. Your confidence in yourself should show him you're stronger and that he can no longer toy with your feelings. If he tries to anyway DON'T LET HIM. It's not worth it, distance yourself from him and move on with your life.

[dpressedone89]

two words for you NO CONTACT. you cant let this guy keep doing this to you. i have a friend who's bf does the same to her and it drives me crazy to watch her go through so much pain. and she blames it on herself that they go back and forth. you cant keep talking to this guy if he does this to you.he sounds like a jerk. anyone who would call at 2:00 am to tell you something like that isnt someone you should be spending time with it sounds to me like he likes having this control over you so i hope this helps some.

-sTiTcHeS

[i_hate_the_world47]

First of all dump the creep.If he really likes you and loves you then he would tell you and not keep playing these mind games.I am sorry you feel so much pain and feel alone.Maybe you should talk to a friend.So you can get some of thses hurt full feelings out.I hope everything works outfor you.If you ever need to talk PM me.

 

~Meagan~

[bischou]

i spent 4 years in a relationship like this he wanted to marry me one minute then made me homeless with 2 kids 8months later

 

the mental torture i went through i would never wish on anyone, i became submissive and cooked lots as i didn't know what else to do I got very depressed and just caved in as it was such a shock.

 

As i couldn't find somewhere to live i went to college to get a job and finally moved out into a homeless shelter, the first feeling i had was relief, then a feeling of peace because i wasn't walking on eggshells anymore never knowing how he was feeling towards me

 

I got back with him twice afterwards though we never lived together again

 

I caught him having a fling with a tart from a night club, i dumped him and never looked back

 

When i was in that relationship I was so in love I was blinded by his ineptness and lack of commitment and DISRESPECT for me

 

At the end of the day no matter how much I loved him it didn't change his behaviour

 

the only person who can change is you, it helped talking to friends and reading a book called "Stop getting Dumped"

 

Raise your standards as what is ACCEPTABLE to you, now I won't put up with crap at all, it's great as I have a wonderful new man who adores me and is gorgeous and has lots of honour to treat a lady properly

 

I agree about no contact i deleted his mobile home and work numbers out of my mobile and home phone, I couldn't get in touch with him even if I wanted to

 

it takes time to heal please be gentle with yourself, when i found out about the other woman I ended up taking 3 weeks off work through stress, i stopped crying after 3 months

 

I'm not saying the good bits i don't miss, he was a friend but would you put up with this behaviour from a friend.

 

I choose to have no contact with him and moved on(joining a gym going out with good friends all helped, when you feel up to it

 

I'm so glad i'm out of that relationship as my children have a mum who is happy, who can cope with life and has a lovely boyfriend they like

 

My ex tried to hit me while my kids were in the room....

 

 

I understand your pain, grief and utter desolation you are feeling

 

GET OUT of it you deserve so much better than the scraps he is offering

 

email me if you want to talk

 

Love and hugs

 

Diane xxx