katrinahopkins Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Do you also see see someone else for casual sex? More than one? Do you see anyone that you have feelings for? Is there is a woman in your life that thinks you are only sleeping with and have feelings for her? this is what i want to ask, i am not brave enough to ask mostly because i am scared that it is too early to have the right to ask, or needy or just wrong. i feel like if he says its only the first situation (casual also with other or another woman), we are still going to be together sexually. i feel if he says yes about the second or /and the third question, i can walk away. but mostly i am dying to know these things and too afraid to ask. i have tried phrasing it in a different way or leading into it but its still pretty heavy questions that show me to care a lot and i am scared how this will lok to him and how it goes after. scared of it ending. scared of his answers. scared of the slight chance that he says something unclear which he thinks is clear enough as a response then i will feel really stupid stupid to push it further. scared of so many these. one thing is for sure this morning - i suck at FWB lol. won't be happening again, am just stuck with this experience because some days I am fine, some days we get on great and i think about other things and he feels like an asset in my life. it doesn't help that he is attentive and supportive and asks all about my life and cares about me as a friend and person. that he treats me great. would be so much easier to stop if it was one of those he never calls situations but its not. its like he is really into me, at the same time i know (95% sure) that i am not the only woman. please don't judge me i am just being honest. Link to comment
katrinahopkins Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 maybe he feels the need to also treat me well daily? to be frank, i think i would actually find it easier and maybe more inclined to carry on if his intentions were apparent by not frequent contact and only contact about sexual encounters to come??? does that make sense at all??? Link to comment
katrinahopkins Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 or maybe i should stop responding to the sweet daily part of how he treats me and if he remarks on it say 'well its only sex, isn't it?' but nah as i typed that its game playing. i know i need to stop anaylsing this and make some kind of decision. Link to comment
capuccino83 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 What do you want from him? Link to comment
katrinahopkins Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 thanks cappucino I guess I want him to only see me for sex and only have feelings for me. Just that I was the only woman in the picture and that he was completely happy with that. BUT i want us to take it slow. I do not want to live with someone at this point. I am scared of us becoming bf and gf also. I think I just want us to take it REALLY slow and at the same time neither of us see anyone else or want anything else!! ... typing that made me realise i am being a bit idealistic here..... especially because of family constraints at the moment i hardly see him at all lol i am confused. Actually i just thought of a huge thing i want from him - for him to ask if i am seeing anyone else and to let me know if he is. Its what i am on the brink of asking myself but i REALLY wish it didn't have to be me to have to do it - and have crappy feeling i cant go through with asking either so its going to play on my mind... i wish he would be a little clear with me but it seems that we are the most unclear types there are. neither of us addressed anything to do with us lol stupid i know. and if he was distant or only into the sex i would get that.... but his actions?? he texts me all the time, calls me all the time, tells me little things and big things before others, says really sweet things, initiates contact constantly, seems to be emotionally into the sex as well as sexually, it all seems like he really likes me! on the other hand he may really like me and also is happy to be still single and happy i havent pushed for more, happy that he also has other things with other girls .... i dont know Link to comment
Tony210011 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 It sounds like you want the benefits of an exclusive relationship (sexually) without the full emotional committment of an exclusive relationship. You want a committed sex partner...but not boyfriend. Is this right? Link to comment
capuccino83 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 thanks cappucino I guess I want him to only see me for sex and only have feelings for me. Just that I was the only woman in the picture and that he was completely happy with that. BUT i want us to take it slow. I do not want to live with someone at this point. I am scared of us becoming bf and gf also. I think I just want us to take it REALLY slow and at the same time neither of us see anyone else or want anything else!! ... This sounds like regular dating to me. Taking things slow.. not seeing other people.. not necessarily making a life long commitment but making a short term commitment to see how things work out. I'm personally not a fan of FWB... but at the same time it seems like you are making things very complicated when they are not. I think that you are looking for is a guy to date, perhaps casually with minimal rules but still some structure rather than FWB which is basically an anything goes situation. Link to comment
lucylara Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 omg, i fell over when i read this. This is me. my relationship with my guy. "the things we havent said". he is scared of relationship, neither one of us is really ready for the final step of committment and love, but damn, I need something. I need to talk about this with him and am too scared also. I dont think I will lose him if i do, I know he is into me, and likes me and feels alot for me. his actions are enormous and speak volumes, but his words dont match. He plays games, i think to try to feel me out, but i am so prideful in my own right, i wont let on to him that i care. so now both of us are playing games. it is apparent to both of us i am sure. I do want the fwb and the committment without the danger of love right now. Link to comment
lucylara Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 and yes I too am scared I am making things more complicated than they need to be. My current motto is "enjoy the journey". but saying that, i dont want to lose what i have because i am too stubborn to make a real move if indeed that is what this guy is waitng for me to do. Link to comment
lucylara Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Some days you are fine, somedays you wonder. same here. hard situation. For both of you I think. pretty sure this isnt all a one way street. Link to comment
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