cardinalsings Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I don't know what to do. Whether to be pissed or what. I feel like my friend tries to sabotage me all the time in little ways. She has a mutual friend with my ex and she went to his party and my ex was there. She tooks tons of picturs of people at the party....along with my ex in them. It was a small party/gathering so it's not like my ex was in a crowded sea...it was like 4 people in the photos I saw.....Anyway, I told her long ago not to post those pics up because it would upset me that my friend posted pics of him and I felt he didn't deserve such niceness. Well, I go on facebook just now and she posted like 3 pics that he is in and tagged him. I texted her confrontationally about it and she just said that some guy tagged my ex in the photos and that she didn't....and I said why did you put them up in the first place?!?! She didn't respond to that. Also, I went to a club with her and had to dress up like a sailor and I did it as a favor to her because she didn't have anyone to go with to this event for her job. Anyway, she took tons of pics of me where boys were picking me up and stuff and I asked her not to put the pics on facebook and to block my ex from seeing them. Turns out he can see them and she claims she blocked it. Now he can see the old pics from the last time I went to the same club with her for her job dressed as something else sexy and those were pictures he was once upset about because I took some not so great pictures with boys at the club....and this was when we were going out...and he can now also see these new sleazy pics that I didn't want him to see. I wanted to come off not like I went off partying after we broke up but that I became classier....instead me doing this favor for her has backfired and he can see the album now and assume I haven't changed and I'm a sleaze and also be reminded of those photos that were taken while we were together that he was once upset about. I'm still in love with my ex and he broke up with me....if that clears anything up based on what I've written. So I don't know whether to be FUMING at my friend or what to say to her. I also love how she posted both albums at the same time so that my ex is more likely to notice the other album of pics of me at the club now whereas if she posted another day, he may not have looked or seen any feed about the pics. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Honestly, I wouldn't say that your friend is purposely trying to sabotage you. Is she good friends with your ex? Some people just enjoy taking pictures and posting everything up. Does she do so with other photos? I don't think it's fair for you to tell her what she can and cannot post. How would you like it if someone requested that of you? Just because things didn't work out between your ex, does not mean that she can't live her life and remain friends with him. Can you further elaborate on why your ex broke up with you in the first place? Link to comment
petite Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 It's her facebook and she has the right to post whatever photos she wants from the party she attended. Just because you're no longer together doesn't mean she can't be friends with him. Why did you even message her about it? I don't think you have any right to even question why she posted the pictures, since she doesn't owe you an explanation. Link to comment
miami Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I told her long ago not to post those pics up...and she posted like 3 pics I asked her not to put the pics on facebook and to block my ex from seeing them. Turns out he can see them he can now also see these new sleazy pics that I didn't want him to see Your friend does not seem to take your requests seriously. Anyway...would you be so kind as to identify your age? Link to comment
babybrat Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I can understand you not wanting her to post the pics of you, but then again you have to think about the fact that she is one of those people that likes to take a million pics of everything going on and post them, and you have to use your own discretion whether or not to even attend these events with her knowing that she's going to be getting snaps of you in incriminating or embarassing situations. I understand that you wanted to do her a favor by going, but next time tel her to agree on NO pics of you or else you will not be going. It's unfortunate but we are in such a media sharing age now and you can't always partake in things that aren't going to be spread and shared for thousands of other to see...like you used to before good old social networks came along. It's pretty much becoming like...if you don't want drunk pics of you on facebook...then don't get drunk at all. Sucks but that's how it is. Now the pics of your ex that she's posting on her facebook, that's different and she can post those if she wants and I don't think it's your right to tell her to not post them. If she wanted to be a good friend, she could. Like, I would probably delete them at your request because I would want to be a good friend by being considerate to your feelings. But it's not really her moral obligation to do that. It's more your responsibility to not look if you don't want to see it. Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Agree with everybody else. It's not your place to dictate whether she can posts pictures or not. You can block her from your newsfeed if its too painful and avoid going to photo filled events with her. Don't put yourself in situations that you don't like, not her. Link to comment
Karma20 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Everyone needs to put themselves in her shoes, if you guys asked your friends not post pics of your ex cause it would it hurt you seeing them and they did it, please don't say you wouldn't be bothered by it. I understand why you're upset and would be upset too. She could of blocked you from seeing them or warned you about it first so you didn't look through them. Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I disagree with asking friends to accommodate things like this. Grow up. You can't expect friends to move things around in their life to accommodate your inability to avoid situations. I can understand asking them to not talk about the ex in front of you, but anything else is too far. What about the people who have an ex living in the same block? The same workplace? I think having a few pictures show up in your fb newsfeed (something you can easily hide or block) is too trivial to make a big deal about. I've hidden a few of my ex's friend's newsfeeds to avoid seeing pictures - its easy and its not right of me to go up and ask them to rein in their life. Link to comment
Karma20 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 The lack of empathy on here is unreal. It's her friend, her friend is not friends with her ex. It's respect for her friends feelings. If you can't ask your friend to help you through a difficult time, who can you ask? Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Friends are there to support you, certainly. But they are not there to coddle selfish whims. And how about lack of empathy on OP then? Her friend who loves taking pictures is supposed to cut down on capturing fun memories because of OP? Those pictures have an affect only if you let them. OP could very easily choose to block that friends newsfeed. She could have chosen to dress down the sailor costume and could have chosen to disregard guy's flirting with her. It's like the only choices that should be reined in is her friends, not OPs. Link to comment
Karma20 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I'm not talking about the sailor costume pics, I'm talking about the pics she posted of her ex boyfriends. Link to comment
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