Best friends

[rich46]

What is everyone's view on being "best friends" with your ex?

 

My own view based on my situation is that it is bloody impossible! My ex told me 3 weeks ago how she needed space, time to be single (all the excuses) but was adamant that she wanted us to be best friends. She even broke down crying at the thought of never speaking to me again.

 

For a few days after she told me this, we stayed in contact. I even went to see her on her birthday and we had a great time together. But then I thought, this is b*****ks! She was keeping me hanging by a thread by wanting to be best friends, plus she was having the best of both worlds.

 

I think maybe one day some people could become friends again after a period of no contact. But i am struggling to see myself ever becoming friends with her. She was and is my first love. I was her first love. How would I cope seeing her with someone else? Answer, I couldn't and so I think the best friends is just a trick to ease their grieving process by only cutting you out of their life by 50%. Quite selfish in a way.

 

What is everyone else's views on it? Am I being a liitle bit close minded?

 

Rich

[JohnnyTable]

I think you are exactly right. She is trying to have her cake and eat it too.

[craigblitz]

Bro does it matter what she wants at this point. I am sorry but it is about what you want. You owe her jack crap, nothing at all. If you can handle being friends be a friend. If you don't want to be friends then don't. Be honest and direct.. I am stealing this from Shocked " Seeing how this break up was not mutual I do not see how friends is going to be an option right now". If she ask why more be honest, be like I love you and don't want to be your pal.

 

Buddy at this point you being 100% selfish is ok, because why not and what do you have to lose.

 

Good luck

[rich46]

Hi, thanks for your replies!

 

Perhaps I should have added that I have already told her that I can't be friends with her, and I have already initiated no contact with her. Don't worry I won't let her have the best of both worlds. I've taken an all-or-nothing approach to the relationship, she said she needed space so that is exactly what I am giving her.

[rich46]

BeachDude, how can you do that? Have you any intentions of getting back with her? Even in 3 months I can't see any way of being friends as I know in the back of my mind I would want us to become an item again.