Do Match.com and the likes really work?

[Stinkweed]

Ok, this is not the most important thing to me, and I know there are other things to life. But since this is a good relationship advice site, I decided to post about it. Ok, here's the situation: I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend. I dunno why, but it's hard for me to like girls. Also, I find it hard to trust people, especially now (but that's another long story). So, most of the people that really know me are either old friends, or friendly people who didn't just judge me from that first impression (I'm very reserved and find it hard to trust others).

 

I see tons of people here saying they're in their 20's and they haven't had a girlfriend. I just know it will be the same with me. Or maybe even worse… There's nothing I can do about it. So, I thought that if I get to be 18 (I think that's the minimum age) and still have no girlfriend, I should try link removed and the likes. I mean, I bet my 13 year old brother will have a girlfriend before I have my first one. To be honest, I would much rather prefer the "old-school" way to meet girls, but I don't think that will be possible, so screw that. It's just that even trying to think about what women want gives me a headache (an unsolved mystery… I mean, unfortunately, I'm the shy type, but I would never hurt anyone. But most girls, maybe not in these forums, but I've seen them, would prefer an outgoing guy even if he treats her like crap…). Back to the real topic: Do those sites really work like they say they do?

[PAdreamer]

First: I know that you know this, but the age at which you have your first girlfriend has nothing to do with the relationship itself, other than to determine how mature you will act.

Second: I used link removed... I had a few hits, met a few guys... nothing serious... But the sites can work. It really depends on the person.

Third: I don't think that looking for love online should be an act of desperation. I think you should choose to use the net as a venue of your own volition, not because you think it's your only option. I am a firm believer in the old addage: "Love finds you when you're not looking". Don't ever go looking for love, or you'll be blinded to it.

[Annonimius]

I think it really depends on your own attitude. If you can present yourself in an original and nice way on internet, girls will like you. If you're shy it may be easier to present yourself on internet, than in real life.

 

You have to remember a few things though:

 

- First: never pay a lot of money for such a thing! There are a lot of free opportunities to meet girls on internet (like chatrooms or MSN/ICQ) and commercial sites only want to make a lot of money out of other peoples problems and worries.

- Second: there are always a lot more man than women interested in a relationship via internet, and that's because there are a lot of man just looking for sex. If you want to stand out, don't make your sexual intentions clear too soon (that makes you sound like all the other stupid guys just looking for fast sex).

- Third: nothing that comes from internet can be trusted. A friendly girl you meet and grow to like and perhaps get into a cyberrelationship with may turn out to be a 40 year old gay guy, but the same holds for woman: the man of her dreams may be 50 and have a big beer belly and is just looking for sex.

- Fourth: things on internet are never what they seem. Everyone tries to be better, someone else, in fact someone you want to be... This means that when you decide to meet things may turn out to be totally different than you imagined (on top of all the normal surprises that arise in every new relationship that didn't come from friendship). Relationships that started on internet rarely last long is my experience.

 

What may work is trying to find girls (or profiles) with some specific thing you both like. In my case it was gothic and metal music and it really "worked". A number of times I found a nice girlfriend on internet (it lasted at most only a few months though).

[Stinkweed]

Points well taken...

[justagirl20f]

Yes, they work. Very well, actually.

[SILKY]

do they work.. they can work... depends on the people though.. just like anywhere else.. people lie, about things.. married, etc. I was on the site.. got engaged... two years we went out.. found out he was cheating the last 1/2 of the relationship.. would I try it again... yes.. but be very careful with anyone you go out with... don't fall for them right away.. get to know them as a person before... I don't want to deal with this again. I am smarter and wiser now and less trusting. Also on these sites.. a lot of people just e-mail. and never meet so don't think its you. Lots of people don't pay for the service.. they can send you winks.. but thats about it... so go in with an open mind.. and don't be so willing to give your heart to just anyone! Good luck

[sweetapples]

I would have thought that you would need to be at least 18 to register with online dating sites. I dunno maybe there are sites for teenage dating as well

[Ceema-k]

I have been a paying member of a commercial dating site for just over a year now.. The site has gotten me many a coffee or dinner date, but I am still waiting to become a "success story".

 

Everyone brings up very valid points on this topic. Online dating is not a last resort method of meeting people. The main advantage to going online is your instant exposure to many other people looking (presumably) for the same thing as you are. Please keep in mind that superficiality is a human trait and is alive and well on the net. If you go public with a photo of yourself, I strongly advise you to make it look good, or don't post at all. Also be ready to sift through a lot of potential dating partners who actually aren't very serious about meeting someone online.

 

Dip your toes in the water by trying out free chat sites and communities first. They are less regulated than pay sites, so safety & fraud is more an issue, but it does require less financial committment.

 

If you do sign up to a commercial dating site, post a profile that is fun, positive, short and to the point.

[hardcore]

no they do not work sorry i would wrigth a littel more but its 12;50 and i have alot of work to do

[wlfpack81]

No they don't work. I recently signed up for 3 months like a fool with link removed and have had no luck. Posted my picture, decent profile, sent out some winks to a few girls and even winked and sent out some emails to girls stating that I was jsut lookign for friends and people who are familiar with the area I live in now since I recently moved here 4 months ago. No luck so far, my profile hasn't even been viewed based on that status indicator. Oh well. Beer and porn for life for me it seems.