Totally heartbroken

[Confused Boy]

Hi, Ok now

she is 19 and i am 20

 

I met this girl like 5 weeks ago. I met her by the reference of my friend.

we spend good all (All three of us). I started liking her. then she left for like 3 weeks and then came back again. Now i asked her on a date

she said "YES" . but just before going out of date, my friend asked her if she is actually looking for a serious relationship with me . she said "NO"

reason she gave was that she has to do lot of things in life and career and she is not looking for a relationship.

 

I totally adore her. I gave her uncountable gifts. I bought her uncountable drinks. I am going to take her to sheraton for supper, I am not a really wealthy man but still I thought she would like it and I thought that at the end of the date I will say what I have to say, But now i already know her answer which is "No"

 

She is not exceptionally beautiful and I am not an ugly dork.

Now i dont know what to say or how to start that topic at the end of the date. My friend told me that she said " She havent met much nicer guy in her life" about me!, so i assume she is gona say NO but would like to keep friendship. I dont know what to do .It hurts when you see a girl who rejected you and u still spend time with her just as a friend like 100 others.

 

just let me know what should i say when i should talk to her about this at the end of date

 

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[Quill]

You mean you are going to profess your undying love at the end of the date?, ask her to be in a relationship with you?... what exactly?!.

 

I understand you're head over heels but you need to cool it right down and just go with the flow.... by telling her you're in love (or whatever you're planning to tell her along those lines) you're trying to control and rush things to suit your feelings. You know she likes you because she accepted a date (or two) and she's said you're a lovely guy.... now back off and date her without the heavy emotional "laying it on the line" stuff.... it's just WAY too early, let her get to know you, let her discover and grow her feelings for you with TIME. Getting to know somene is a process... you can't rush it now matter how much you want to.... relax and trust whatever is meant to be will be.

 

I really don't know what you have in mind to tell her but I wouldn't go there..... you're likely to face rejection by putting her on the spot seeing as she has stated she is not ready for a 'serious' relationship.

 

It's not the hand in life you're dealt, it's how you play it.... no pressure works best in my experience.

[couldbeme86]

dude, okay. look this happens to a lot of people and it sucks. but the best thing you can do is try to get close to her and see what happens in the end.i know it will kinda hurt to be friends with her after she turns you down. thats if she turns you down tho. sometimes chicks will tell someone something and not really mean it.but if it doesnt work out between the two of you then you can always try to be good friends with her. its the best thing you can do. sorry i cant tell you what to actually do but i dont even know what to do with my life.

[rvr350]

I think you should evaluate what you want from this relationship. Love is not a 1-way street, someone has to give, and the other one has to receive. If you know the girl doesn't want to receive your love yet, you have 2 option. 1) Tell her you love her, and you'll definitely won't be her gf by the end of the date, and you probably won't be her friend as well. 2) Be her friend, let her know your presense, not by you showering her with gifts and praises, but letting her know you'll be there for her no matter what.

 

It is very easy to present option 1), but if you want to invest in this relationship, buckle down and ride with the waves, and see where it takes you. It may not be pretty at the end, but hey, you give and take a little. Just remember why are you doing it for. Whatever you choose to do, i'm sure you'll find someone just as wonderful, but want to share your love as well.

[Confused Boy]

Hey

Thanks for your replies. I know what you guyz mean

I know it will be very premature to say it now.

But I dont have any other option, she dont live in this town, she will be leaving in 2 weeks and will probably visit after like 4 months.

she is here to see her best friend who is my friend

If i dont say it this time face to face, then I will have to say it on telephone which sucks.

Also , I am not gona ask her to marry me at the end of date.

This is the first time I will be going out on a date ever in ma life, and she is so shy that i am sure she is not even gona look me in the eye when i will be talking all this.

I definitely have to tell her whats in me for her.

I just pray she change her mind at the exact time

ha

thanks

Love u all

bye

[couldbeme86]

hey good luck

[wrangler41]

My advice would be to let her know how you feel...ask her personally what she thinks and she should be honest with you. It will take alot of guts but you need to stop spending all this money and time on this girl..If you are not getting anything out of it then its just you buying a girl a bunch of stuff. Tell her that you don't want things to be akward between the two of you because of all this tell her you value her friendship and that is pretty much all you can do. It will take guts but I am sure that you can do it!