Shyness Need advice

[studer]

hello,

 

I just happen to be one fo those guys that gets really nervous and tense wen it come to talk to girls. I am always scared that i may stuff up or one of those questions may pop-up which i may not know how to answer. I dont know wat it is or how to overcome these fears. I think that it is becasue everytime i see an attractive chick i am scared i am goin to say something i will regret saying and i cant stop perving on them. I have talked to my friends about it and they say that i shouldnt be that nervous.

I am not a talkatvie person but am very much into computers, games etc (u know one of those kids) and know that chicks dun dig that stuff so i cant think of anything alese to talk about.

 

I need help as i really like a few girls in my classes and hope to learn alot more about them.

[Vincent]

First, STOPPIT. You are the perpetual cycle of male's inferiority complex and I want you to stop it RIGHT NOW. Got it? Good.

 

a) a girl, even a pretty one, is a guy with different bits and pieces. Talk to them like you would your mates, but with one single difference.

 

b) instead of talking about what you're interested in, ask questions about what they are interested in. Keep the subject the HELL away from geek subjects dude, or you can scratch any shot you once had.

 

c) like most lads, I am sure you're interested in sex, after a while, dont be afraid to use little loaded flirty comments and the odd compliment doesn't go astray.

[dizzy_bruce]

Hey,

 

It's normal to be intimidated by attractive girls, alot of people (including the girls who you're intimidated of) feel shy at first, but it goes after a while.

 

You have to make the effort to talk to her even if you're scared. Do this either by growing some balls and just doing it, or getting A BIT tipsy beforehand.

 

There is nothing wrong with looking at girls because you're attracted to them (as long as you're not like ). Being sexually perverted is doing something that isn't normal; there's nothing abnormal in being attracted to girls, in fact it would be abnormal if you weren't.

 

Talking about computer games and the like is a sure way to make her think that you're a geek with no social life. Talk about her interests e.g. music, hobbies, sport. Basically whatever but not computer games. Even if you suck at making conversation she'll appreciate that you made an effort.

 

If you're still stuck why not try and find a girl that likes the same things as you?

[rusty_boi]

Ill have to agree with vincent on this one NO MATTER WHAT KEEP AWAY FROM COMPUTER GAMES IN CONVOS unless she brings it up but its unlikely , and as far as talking to them well i used to be like you quiet and shy and well i tried to do what people told me 2 and 'talked like i would my m8s' but its hard 2 do so what i eventually had 2 do was ignore all the voices in your head that worry bout u stuffin up and just go for it eventually confidence builds up and you feel comfortable, so try that, what i would do is go to well less atteactive girls if you get what i mean and try strike a convosation with them i mean its good because you will probly get a friend out of that aswell as getting confidence so kinda work your way up the ladder if you get me well keep me posted through pm's anyway.

[ridikerous]

I had this problem in middle school, but it was very extreme and severe for me. I've become almost the opposite around my crushes now (loud, friendly, very flirty) because I grew fed up of feeling like I was keeping my personality cooped up around guys. Find out what interests the girls and ask them questions about it (like, I introduced myself to one of my crushes after hearing he had a job at pizza hut: I just casually asked him if they were hiring and told him I was asking because job hunting since my Target job sucks, and I wanted to quit. I asked him what the bad things about working at pizza hut were, stuff like that). Introduce yourself by asking them questions about the homework, or ask them if you can borrow a pencil or something, and be extra friendly.

 

Don't be afraid...me and a lot off my girl friends find it cute when a guy gets embarrassed easily, some girls tend to be sensitive like that, and when a guy seems vulnerable I feel like I can mess up myself around him and have an easier time forgetting about it.

 

I don't know if this seems totally irrelevant, but when you mentioned that you're afraid of making mistakes in front of them, I remembered one of the guys I met: it became automatically easy for me to make jokes and stuff around him from when I first met him because I did something stupid accidently and he made a sarcastic remark about it and I just rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him, and from then on we both playfully made fun of each other on a daily basis. It makes you more comfortable around them and made me more secure about all the stupid mistakes I make.

If you can laugh about your mistakes later, it will make it easier and you'll be less afraid. Just relax and think about what you'd like to know about them, make it the center of your attention, and go for it. Try to make your burning desire for them stronger than the cold chains of your fears. Maybe if you get really into the conversations you have with them, and work your mind hard on the topic being discussed, you'll be able to say things that you won't regret.

 

And I know TONS of guys who blab about computer games all day, and most of the games don't interest me but it doesn't bother me much.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

We all get nervous talking with the opposite sex. kepp working at it you will get better over time. Practice makes perfect.

 

 

kuhl

 

8)

[dishthefish]

"How was your day?"

 

"You look really nice, where did you get (item in question)?"

 

"How was work?"

 

If you are in their home comment on an ornament or a piece of furniture.

 

"Have you seen any good movies recently? How did you like it/them?"

 

"What kind of music do you listen to?"

 

Ask if they saw a interesting TV program.

 

"What sports do you play or like? How long have you played (sport in question)?"

 

"What did you do this weekend (week)?"

 

"Have you been to (a local restaurant)?"

 

"What kind of food do you like?"

 

"Where are you from?"

 

"Where did you go to school/college?"

 

"Have you read any good books lately? Was it/them interesting?"

 

"What do you normally do for fun?"

 

"Do you like (an interest of yours)?"

 

These will get the conversation going and you will find out what the other person is interested in. Then you'll know if you have anything in common.

 

..........right soo what do u think there are so many people ,things talk abt themmmmmmmm..u know evry topic i gave here..u can talk for atleast 10 mins for each one...so just keep tryin ....see ya ..n please im me if u need ne help..

[ShySoul]

I know the feeling. Being nervous around attractive girls is perfectly natural. First off, BE CONFIDENT. It may not be easy, especially for us shy people, but nothing is more important. If you believe in yourself and believe that things will go well, there is a good chance they will. However, if you believe you'll mess things up then you probably will mess things up. Even if things don't go well the first time (or the second, the third, etc.) keep trying and remain confident that eventually the effort will pay off.

 

Focus the conversion on her. You'll get to know about her and see if you really like her and she will be impressed that you are so interested in her.

Make sure to pay attention to her and be really interested in what she's saying. If computer games come up, talk about it. Don't avoid the subject because it's too "geeky." Any worthwhile girl should like you for you. If your really into something that's considered "geeky" don't hide it. If she doesn't like you because of that then it's her loss. Always be true to yourself. Ladies like someone who is confident in himself. And here's an idea... look for someone who has the same interests as you. Surely some girl has to like computer games. You would have a built in starting point for a friendship and possiblly a relationship.

[redline052]

Bro, first off all i can say is; My best friend is a ADDICT to all of the final fantasy games, he plays the latest one (whatever it is, 7 i think) all the time, and dude hes got a HOT girlfriend.

 

Just be yourself, and you will find the right girl.

[Massari]

[quote name="I am not a talkatvie person but am very much into computers, games etc (u know one of those kids) and know that chicks dun dig that stuff so i cant think of anything alese to talk about.

"]

 

I was also like this.. had lot's of trouble talking to girls. I used to play PC games and Xbox alot. until it hurt me inmy school work. and then I started to seduce it and at that time I realized when I want to talk to thr girls I can't use my knowledge on comouters and games. so what I did was I started to reduce computer games. I still play computer games. eventhough I am still single I now find it easier to find a nice topic to talk to them. believe it or not Pc games really distroy your sense of thinking and creativity .. as it did for mine, but I was string enought o fix it. and you can too. just try to not play PC game for like a month. and by the way my story happened in like 3-4 months so it doesn't take much and it's easy to do. hope I have helped.