Help- in a state of confusion

[notgivingup]

Some Background

 

I’ve posted a lot on my relationship with my ex and if you look under my screen name, any post since the beginning of December regarding to relationship concerns my ex and I. Prior to like two weeks last Sunday, we were already having problems in our relationship and most of it was my fault. I went to see him that day to fix things with me and that day ended with him agreeing to give me a second chance. Cuz he’s realized how happy I make him and he does not want to lose me. However, we were on the phone the next day and he says I want to break up with you. My ex and I broke up two weeks ago. He was on a one track mind at the time; all he could think of was we aren’t meant to be and nothing could convince him otherwise. I was devastated to say the less. So I accepted that. We chatted on facebook chat that following Wednesday then I emailed him a day later and asked him if we could continue to be friends in the future. Ten days after that he emailed me and said I think that is what I want. For more info please read: )

 

Update

 

Two days after that he started texting me and our entire conversation is written out below.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you on your birthday-I was in jail. My phone has low batterys right not so I can’t really chat- but I want you to know I’m thinking of you and I still care

 

What to do?

 

We have not talked since; probably because 1) he’s busy, 2) he couldn’t talk, 3) his phone is dead. I am really confused as to what I want to do with this right now and that is why I am posting this on ENA. I do want to give him a second chance because I still care, think and miss him, like he does with him. However, he need to know he can’t come and go as he please, that he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions. And I feel like I need some time to focus on myself right now. I also do not know when he will abruptly or suddenly change his mind about me again. I already have a trust issue and now this? Can I start over and let this go if I do decide to give him a second chance? Would I give him and us a second chance for the right reasons as well? When is he going to be able to call me so we could talk, I’m trying to be as patient as I could be.

 

What does he want? What does he expect me to do?

 

Any opinions, suggestions, and advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

[dramallama]

What he wants and expects you to do aren't really any of your concern. You aren't back in a relationship yet, and until you are officially back together and he asks you outright for this, you should leave things be and don't contact him. If he wants to ask you out again, he will. So don't do anything. It may not even come. Words are just words, after all.

 

If he wanted to talk to you since, he would have. If you have something to urgently tell someone, especially if you want to let them know that you want to get back together, then he will contact you soon. If he doesn't, then that's your answer.

 

Why was he in jail? That sounds like bad news...

[notgivingup]

Hi dramallama,

 

Thanks for the advice. I don't know why he is in jail, I haven't asked him, and I do not want to ask him through text. It's probably a DUI; that would be my best guess. He did have something urgent to tell me and I guess he told me the first chance that he got. We have been texting each other and emailing each other back and forth since then. He is really good at keeping in touch with me since the last time I posted that on ENA. I have took the initative to text him, but I will not text him as often and as frequently anymore. Most of what we need to talk about needs to be TALKED ABOUT and not texted.

 

Notgivingup

 

Notgivingup

[dramallama]

I think if he is not interested in you, there is nothing much to be talked about to change things. Trust me, I've been there and it doesn't work. People with DUIs are best to avoid - how self-important would you have to see yourself to drive home, putting other people's lives in danger as well as your passengers and your own life, while drunk? It also costs millions in the form of hospital treatment, paramedics and police, crash investigators etc. To me it's more selfish then a drug addict's actions. So I think that you are so blinded by love that even the fact that he's been to jail doesn't bother you. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that he's not interested. I'm sure there's someone else out there who does not think their right to drive home is more important than the safety of innocent people.

[notgivingup]

Hi dramallama,

 

I do not know the reason WHY he was in jail though.

 

Notgivingup

 

I think if he is not interested in you, there is nothing much to be talked about to change things. Trust me, I've been there and it doesn't work. People with DUIs are best to avoid - how self-important would you have to see yourself to drive home, putting other people's lives in danger as well as your passengers and your own life, while drunk? It also costs millions in the form of hospital treatment, paramedics and police, crash investigators etc. To me it's more selfish then a drug addict's actions. So I think that you are so blinded by love that even the fact that he's been to jail doesn't bother you. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that he's not interested. I'm sure there's someone else out there who does not think their right to drive home is more important than the safety of innocent people.

[dramallama]

I think the fact that he was in jail should suggest that you should move on to find someone who has go it together, and knows how to control their actions.

[notgivingup]

Okay, I get your point, but what if it was his fault that he was in jail in the first place? It was his friend's fault or something, would it still be his fault cuz he picked the wrong friends to hang out with? I will move on and find someone else in time.