I am living the same day, To no end.

[Khollest]

Hello, I have not posted here in several months. Glad to see the site doing so well.

 

First off, I didn't know where to put this. This [personal growth] seemed appropriate as I feel it has to do with the lack their of.

 

I am a 20 YO male, I have been working sense I was 14. The last time I had a girlfriend (not dating) was my senior year of highschool. I would very much like to get a girlfriend. I'm living a life that seems strangly devoid of female contact. I've worked at a machine shop for 3 years, Not one female under 35 has graced my existence there. I also have been going to school for trades. My program, and the whole side the building I am in is male.

I don't know who I am anymore. My whole life I've had a grip on what occours around me. I know whats going to happen, I plan. The problem is I am running on a plan that I don't recall making. I wake up and work until the next day where I wake up and work some more.

O sure, I break the grind every few weeks when some school friends egt me to go to a party, But no one ever remembers me. Its like I was never there.

 

I don't know, I guess, I wanted some advice on what to do. How to ne remembered.

[talo]

Hi Khollest,

You say you would like a girlfriend.

 

Friends like the same things we like. What do you like? Do you share your likes? Sharing likes makes friends. Friends make more friends....

[guitarman]

yeah ... its true ... I had a few relationships before ... and I realized something .... the function of a girlfriend is not the same as friends. I can't exactly tell you the bolts and nuts of it ... but what I know is this .... "you can do without a girlfriend, but you can't do without friends"

 

I used to think I need a girlfriend. Wanted it very badly. And until I got myself one, I realize it's not really what I wanted. She didn't really fill up the emptiness in me .... and I had more responsibilities which I realize I didn't want. I felt very selfish .... because the very reason why I got together with her, was to fulfill my needs ... which was never the remedy.

 

Hence my advise to you is .... never get a girlfriend because you need a girrlfriend ..... you get together with someone because you love her ... not because you need her. The need is just an illusion ..... Go drink beer and watch football with your friends .... Learn a new skill like a language or technical stuff ..... Join an interest group like a sport or music or something .... you never know you might find someone of your dreams ...

[talo]

"Getting" a girlfriend sounds the same as getting a bottle of milk at the supermarket.

 

As your circle of friends grows, some of them are likely to be girls. As you get to know friends better you become more intimate.

[Khollest]

I agree with you Guitarman, Its quite like that. Having a relationship and a girlfriend are 2 different topics. I come to a simular conclusion after seeing my best friend shackup with his current partner. Every time I see the guy and he talks about her, its as if hes trying to convince him-self that he needs her (I mean that in a good way).

 

Talo, Your right. But then again, As I pointed out no one really remembers me. Also the form of the introductions isn't the best for remembering someone either.

 

I thought about totally shattering my daily routine, Moving out of state as soon as I am done with school. I know I am capable of it but, again, I plan everything. And I wonder, Is this a overly drastic move just to enhance the understanding of my world and me ?

 

If only the answers were as simply drawn as the questions.

 

BTW. Jack Black Rocks, I was listening to Tenacious D while typing this.

[talo]

Hi Khollest,

 

I thought about totally shattering my daily routine, Moving out of state as soon as I am done with school. I know I am capable of it but, again, I plan everything. And I wonder, Is this a overly drastic move just to enhance the understanding of my world and me ?

 

The only way your world and yourself can be enhanced is by you. It does not matter where you are in the world, it will still be your world. Your world is the way you look at the world, or the way you look. The way you look is often called your attitude (at-it-tude). The way you look determines the world you see, the world you occupy, your self.

 

Drastic moves are not the way. Drastic is usually a reaction to something not liked. Large steps are usually a series of small ones. Better to take small steps than large ones, or even stay still and look at your self, your world. Direction may be seen by still looking.

 

If only the answers were as simply drawn as the questions

 

If the answers where drawn as the questions, the questions would be the answers

 

Answers to questions may be seen in the assumptions in questions. There are often multiple deeply held assumptions in questions. Looking at assumptions is a good start.

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

Good you share your situation. I know it can be super chappenging to widen your horizons.

 

I'll be direct, okay?

 

Part of you looks back into the past for answers and behaviors. When you are working hard for 8 hours a day or more, this is where you put most of your energy.

 

It feel like your life wants to connect with something new and refreshing but you don't really know where to find it or how to express it.

 

It's quite normal and it is really good to sit down and ask yourself these questions.

 

Staying socially active requires skills and determination. You need to give it priority, stay open, respond to opportunities and widen your horizons. Don't reject any opportunity. Go with the flow and be spontaneous. Dare to open up and do things you never did before.

 

Every time you step beyond your comfort zone, it feels challenging. This is why you usually tend to sit back and wait for things to come to you.

 

If it's not happening it is time to conquer a new territory. This requires power and determination. You can for instance go online and make new contacs with girls in that way.

 

Something you must realize is that don't expect your professional environment to provide you with these opportunities. Right now, you seem to rely on that. Mistake! Work place romances can be tricky anyway and the chances that you meet the girl of your dreams at work are very slim.

 

You need to stretch yourself and make it your priority number one. Learn more about flirting and seduction (there is loads of free tips about this on the net). Merely thinking about it one day is not enough. Immerse yourself in it.

 

I think that you are spot on with the area where you posted this message: this is about personal growth.

 

You'll learn a lot about yourself by taking steps. If people don't call you, takes steps and call them. If they don't respond, establish new contacts. It takes power and determination to break through.

 

Now is the time! Now is your time! Step forward and do whatever it takes to connect. You are 100% worth it!

 

Does this make sense?

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach