MakeItCount Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Was out tonight with some friends and the ex walked in with another guy. From what I found out they were together on new years as their first "date" and have been seeing each other for a cpl weeks now. I didn't think it would hurt as much as it did. I did everything for that girl. Maybe that was my mistake. I guess it's time to be emo now for a little while and then time to get back on the high horse. Just had to vent. Not in a good mind state right now. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 awww I'm sorry. I know it wasn't easy to see that. Don't let this bring you down though. You know you're a great guy that has a lot to offer, she obviously doesn't appreciate that though. Just know that there is a girl out there who will adore you and will love you for everything you do. Link to comment
Staple Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Yeah its her loss she will realize how great you are once that guy treats her like crap, just remember, do not take her back. Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Yeah, that happened with me right off the bat...never did see them, but she got together with someone real fast. It ended real fast too, so did the next one. Sorry for your pain. Link to comment
felix29 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 MakeItCount, I know how you feel man. I saw my ex with another guy a few weeks ago and it stung at first. The thing is, I feel freakin' great now because I realized that: She's insecure and needs to cling onto someone She's not working on her problems that led to the breakup which makes her unsuitable for any long-term relationship She's someone else's problem now You hear it all the time man, but I'm going to say it again.... Keep working on yourself because that is the absolute best thing you can do. Make yourself an even better person physically and mentally and the women will follow. I know that you're a great guy and you should be happy for the things you have in your life. Focus on working out, your career, and meeting new people. Embrace your new single life. My ex broke up with me a little over two months ago and it took me a long time to get over her. Things in my life couldn't be better though because I FINALLY realized that I WASN'T HAPPY IN THE RELATIONSHIP. I was absolutely fed up with being hung up on a girl who had so many problems. The only reason I was so sad was because I was rejected and I felt like she was the only girl I could ever find. That all changed once I focused on myself and the three criteria (Work out, Career, Friends). Despite my bouts of sadness/depression, this is where my progress has landed me: Working out five times a week - I feel great, I look great, and people are noticing. I've been approached by two women in the past week, one is an aspiring model who is way prettier than my ex. I met her at the club this past weekend and we hooked up on the dance floor and I got her number. The other girl is a girl who approached me at the gym today. She's sexy, fit, and she exudes confidence. We shared a few words and laughs and I hope to get to know her better. I'm VERY attracted to this girl. Going to the gym is a win-win situation because you make yourself look better, you feel better, and you can meet very pretty women who take care of themselves. I focused on my career - I graduated from college this past December and this past weekend I found out I got a job that pays over 60k. Having money is going to help me a lot because now I can go out more and meet even more people. One of Lil Wayne's songs said something along the lines of: "You lose money chasing girls, but you never lose girls chasing money". I can't agree with him more. I rekindled old friendships - At first I was so depressed and I felt like I was forcing myself to hang out with them. But they really helped me get my senses together and having friends makes you thankful for what you have in your life. I hung out with my boys this past weekend and on my drive back home at 3am, I was smiling so much because I realized that I didn't have to worry about anyone besides myself. I can hang out with whoever I want and whenever I want. I haven't been single since I graduated from high school and I can't believe how much I'm enjoying this freedom. Keep your head up man. Vent to us as much as you want but always keep in mind that you need to focus on yourself in order to be happy. Who cares if you saw her with another guy? That just means that you're setting yourself up for a MUCH brighter future while she keeps falling into the same trap of needing someone's attention. She's going nowhere. Trust me, you are in a much better place now. Link to comment
AloneInSf Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Damn Felix! You sure put it in perspective. After 3 months of my BU I'm starting to feel like you and having those same optimistic ideas. I reread that Wayne lyric over and over and damn, it's the truth, that goes both ways on that second verse! Girls chasing you for your money and you yourself paperchasin! This whole thread reply is what I needed to pull me out of this slump and to look forward to the good life! Link to comment
felix29 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I'm glad it helped AloneInSF. I was initially going to write a short response but things kept flowing. Writing that whole response was really therapeutic because I realized how far I've come in my healing. I hope that all of you can focus on the three things and find what makes YOU happy again. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 thanks felix and all. this whole thing's just been such a friggin blow to the ego. Knowing where I screwed up, how I could've kept the attraction flowing etc. My mind's going 100 miles a minute picturing them together right now, definitely won't be sleeping tonight. So frustrating considering it's been 5 months, even though we kept seeing each other every couple of weeks out and about. I guess that really didn't help. Tonight certainly didn't. I hate feelings this. I'm so much stronger than this. I know I'll find another girl as great as she was, but man does it hurt right now. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 So I've talked to a few friends about this, some know her well. She says she's looking for true love, yet she's only had a few short relationships and is kind of "behind" since they've all lasted like 2 months. I think she just seeks the thrill of the honeymoon and doesn't really know what she wants, what "true love" is supposed to be like. She's never been with a guy like me who she was able to trust right off the bat and not doubt my intentions, or be able to confide in so fast. She told me that after a couple of months. It seems like the typical young confused girl. I thought she was different because she has a good head on her shoulders, yet I think that she's just insecure and lonely since her best friend (the only one she ever goes out with) is in a relationship now and doesn't spend much time with her. Which leads her to just jump in relationships with guys who will feed her some lines off the getgo to make her feel special. I dunno, I know I shouldn't be thinking about this and just let go and do my own thing, and it's what I'm going to do. Might just keep venting in this thread. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Well if this is true, then she is only in a relationship with this guy to avoid the loneliness. That's not a good reason to be with someone. It seems as though you have taken the time to reflect and think about how you would do things differently in a relationship, while that may not be the case for her. So you are the winner here. You learned some things about yourself and now understand what mistakes not to make again. She might just be using this guy to help fill the void in her life and may not have even reflected on her own mistakes. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I bet it makes her feel so good to run into you single and without anybody while she comes through the door escorted by her "new" love. That's got to make her feel like a few million dollars right there. So maybe she is insecure like that -- don't feed the bears, if she is. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I bet it makes her feel so good to run into you single and without anybody while she comes through the door escorted by her "new" love. That's got to make her feel like a few million dollars right there. So maybe she is insecure like that -- don't feed the bears, if she is. Nah, she's not vindictive like that. I know she still really cares for me but it didn't work out. She wasn't flaunting him or anything, they weren't all over each other. I suppose in a way I'm lucky this way, since it seems to happen like that way too often. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Well if this is true, then she is only in a relationship with this guy to avoid the loneliness. That's not a good reason to be with someone. It seems as though you have taken the time to reflect and think about how you would do things differently in a relationship, while that may not be the case for her. So you are the winner here. You learned some things about yourself and now understand what mistakes not to make again. She might just be using this guy to help fill the void in her life and may not have even reflected on her own mistakes. I'm not sure if she's just filling a void, although I think it may be the case. I think the bottom line is she's with him now, and there's nothing I can do but move on and be happy. What she does is none of my concern. I'm just sad that two people who were great together broke up because she just didn't know what she wants. Oh well, such is life. Link to comment
headwreck Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I'm not sure if she's just filling a void, although I think it may be the case. I think the bottom line is she's with him now, and there's nothing I can do but move on and be happy. What she does is none of my concern. I'm just sad that two people who were great together broke up because she just didn't know what she wants. Oh well, such is life. Oh my goodness this is just like me! It;s so frustrating isn't it! And on top of that it just seems unfair that after she (he in my case) caused so much heartache s/he gets to be happy. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Oh my goodness this is just like me! It;s so frustrating isn't it! And on top of that it just seems unfair that after she (he in my case) caused so much heartache s/he gets to be happy. True, but you never know. Once the honeymoon ends, that's when you truly find out. Link to comment
resilient7 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Would really break my heart to see her with a new guy,you're taking it better than I would Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Well, the pics of us from facebook are gone. I have my account suspended by decided to pop on and check. I don't really know how I feel. Kinda numb. I can't stop thinking about them together. Trying my best to be nonchalant about it but it's definitely having an effect on me. I keep trying to tell myself that it will get better, and I know it will. Kinda hard to not imagine their new relationship as being picture perfect and her getting whatever it was she was missing with me from him. I know it's not healthy to think about it but kinda can't help it ya know. I should add that I'm happy she's happy, at the same time I'm pretty bitter. Hopefully this goes away soon, in an odd way it might help as at least I know she's with someone else now and that's that. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Well, the pics of us from facebook are gone. I have my account suspended by decided to pop on and check. I don't really know how I feel. Kinda numb. I can't stop thinking about them together. Trying my best to be nonchalant about it but it's definitely having an effect on me. I keep trying to tell myself that it will get better, and I know it will. Kinda hard to not imagine their new relationship as being picture perfect and her getting whatever it was she was missing with me from him. I know it's not healthy to think about it but kinda can't help it ya know. I should add that I'm happy she's happy, at the same time I'm pretty bitter. Hopefully this goes away soon, in an odd way it might help as at least I know she's with someone else now and that's that. ;] MakeItCount, tell her you're getting married in a few weeks and that you given your fiance a 3.1 charat diamond ring and that you're driving a nice black lamborghini. LOL Link to comment
JEK1110 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Man the first time i saw pictures of my ex and the new guy i lost it. Luckily i was in my living room alone. It still hurts knowing that she's with someone else but it's gotten a lot easier to take then it was in the beginning. That said i havent seen them together in person yet...luckily. Dont know how i would react to that which worries me a little. I think the same thing sometimes...that's he's giving her everything i didnt and that sucks but what can i do about it now. Maybe we'll get another shot at it, maybe we wont but at the moment there's nothing i can do to make that happen. I've been working on improving myself the last month or so...writing alot, cutting back on drinking(lost 20+lbs!), and trying to be more open with my feelings. I started doing this so that if she ever did come back i would be a better person for her but now i realize even if she doesnt, i still be a better person. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Good for you man, self improvement is always a win win. In my situation she's honestly the one that took everything for granted and I realize that now. I gave her everything. And I don't regret it. I regret some of the ways I acted, but nothing else. I'm just hoping I won't have to see her again until March when it'll be unavoidable. Hopefully by then I'll be all good to go. Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 i think i'd die if i saw my ex with another person, its great that u'v been able to see that and keep breathing, ive seen quite alot of post about self improvement and it makes a lot of sense. well done for being able to wish ur ex well, the bitterness is only natural. and try not to think about what he's giving her that u couldn't, its a new relationship so it hasn't had the test of time yet. she may end up feeling the same way about the new guy as she felt about u in the end. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 i think i'd die if i saw my ex with another person, its great that u'v been able to see that and keep breathing, ive seen quite alot of post about self improvement and it makes a lot of sense. well done for being able to wish ur ex well, the bitterness is only natural. and try not to think about what he's giving her that u couldn't, its a new relationship so it hasn't had the test of time yet. she may end up feeling the same way about the new guy as she felt about u in the end. Yeah, it was tough. Mostly just took me by surprise. I think I'd be doing a lot worse if I didn't give it my all. The more I think about it and talk to my friends ... she really wasn't that great of a girlfriend. Wasn't getting what I needed. As soon as I got dumped though that all went out the window haha. You know how they have dreamscapes where a little window opens in the clouds to look onto reality (weird analogy I know)? Well, I think that's slowly happening for me. Hopefully I snap out of this damn idolizing, pedistaling mess I've got myself into Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Just having kind of a * * * * ty night tonight, usually happens after a weekend of hard drinking haha. Keep teetering between not giving a crap and giving a lot of crap. Damn ego. Don't mind me talkin to myself here lol Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 it's not ego,it's love Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 the more you hurt the more it shows how much you really loved her Link to comment
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