My life is a blur

[i_hate_the_world47]

As i lay down in my bed

Thoughts run through my tiny head

Will tomorrow be the same

Even though he is to blame

 

Will his screams echo inside

And will i have more bruises to hide

I can never be for sure

My whole life has been a blurr

 

A blurr thats filled with blood and tears

A big black blurr for fourteen years

Will this life ever make sense

Or should i make my life past tense

 

Now i drift off into sleep

But theres one thought i wish to keep

Maybe my dad will finally learn

That his fatherly love is all i yearn

 

Comments are greatly appreciated

 

Meagan

[brtlangst]

That's so sad. I know exactly how you feel. My father completely ignored me when I was a child...I felt that he didn't love me. I hope you and your father can work things out somehow. I know me and my dad did.

 

Keep up the good work!

-Amie

[i_hate_the_world47]

its not my dad its my step dad.and he didnt just ignore me he beat the hell out of me.And he is in jail now for it.but i still wish deep down that he could have treated me like a daughter

 

Meagan

[brtlangst]

Hopefully your step-dad will realize what he's done...have you ever tried to tell him how you really feel? I never could tell my father my feelings...we always keep our emotions pent up inside. Just remember, not all parents deserve to be loved, and you did nothing wrong just wanting his love.

[i_hate_the_world47]

ya i tried to talk to him.until he started to beat on me.After years of beatings i told someone and he is in jail.He beat me so bad it was horrible.He was a terrible man.Yet i wanted his love.Which i thought was wrong

 

meagan

[brtlangst]

It's not wrong, if anything you should be proud of yourself. After everything he did to you to still want love from this person you must be very strong. I hope you're doing okay today and that things work out for you in the future. Keep your loving additude and you'll be fine.

[i_hate_the_world47]

ya im ok today.My step dad left some pretty deep scars but they will eventually heal.But i am glad that you and your dad patched things up

 

meagan

[lunatic]

I loved the poem very much. I too hope you can get over this thing your step dad did to you. Keep up the great work and don't stop writing.

 

Hubman 8)

[under_the_pressure]

Good poem! I really enjoyed it.

 

 

Under

[jaiva]

It is normal for girls to want father figures even if they male is abusive. I don't think it was wrong for you to want him to love you as a daughter but it was definitely wrong for him to beat you. He deserves to be in jail.

 

What I hope and pray for now is that you won't began to date men that are older than you because you feel that you need a father figure. I'm not saying that dating older people is wrong but if you reasons are wrong then its wrong. I once dated a person 4 yrs older than me and I'm still suffering from making that decision to this day.

 

Just be strong and try to be wise.

 

Jaiva

[ang3l2004]

That was a great poem keep writing you are good!! very sad and emotional and anytime you need to talk pm me

[i_hate_the_world47]

Thanks for the comments everyone.I am glad you all enjoyed my poem.

 

Meagan

[mahlina]

Meagan, that was a deep poem. You are such a great writer. Especially for your age. I hope that all goes well for you. It's okay. He's not worth it. Who cares about him. If he's mistreating you, then make sure that you're okay. Take care of yourself no matter what. Develop your way of your own independent thinking. As long as you're independent, and can depend on yourself emotionally, then that's all that matters. Once you find that peace/happiness within yourself, nothing else matters. No one else can and will get to you. All the best to you Meagan. Hang in there girl. We're all here to help you.-Mahlina

[i_hate_the_world47]

I understand that i should just forget about him b/c he mistreated me.but a small part of me wants him back b/c he was the only father figure i had.He beat me beyond imagining but i still somewhere deep inside loved him for some reason.

 

Meagan