Can I take this as a sign of interest?

[Allyo]

I saw a guy a few days ago that I met in a documentary cine class that I started taking last February. I eventually stopped going to the class, and we stopped seeing each other. I always felt that we had a mutual attraction, but at the time I had a boyfriend and still do so I didn’t really act on it.

 

Anyways, I saw this guy in front of a coffee shop a few days ago, and we started chit-chatting about what we have been up to. He kind of casually invited me to some meetings that he goes to, as he is a human rights lawyer and belongs to several environmentalist groups. I said sure and that I would love to go, and he asked me for my number and e-mail address.

 

I gave him my number and e-mail on a piece of paper. We kept chit-chatting, and later on as I was ending the conversation and was about to head on my way he said ‘Well yeah, let’s see if we get together some time.’ And I said ‘Well, let me know or send me a message.’ And he gave me a warm good-bye hug, and that was it.

 

But now that I think about it, I wonder if he was suggesting us getting together or something more personal like a date or something, apart from the meetings…? I didn’t really catch on at the time, but I could be over-analyzing the whole situation. I feel like I should have given him a warmer response, because yeah, I am kind of interested…

 

I have a long-distance boyfriend, and I do love him but I have had mixed feelings recently. He has had a lot of mood swings lately, due mainly to stress I believe… but still… We didn’t see each other over Christmas since his family had planned a 2 week vacation, and sometimes I wonder if I am doing myself a disservice by ruling out every opportunity to meet somebody else. This other guy is really sweet, good-looking, and very humble and down-to-earth for being a lawyer…

[WockaWocka]

It does sound like this environmental lawyer is interested in more than just inviting you to meetings. But if you want to end the long-distance relationship you should do it based on its own merits (mood swings, etc) and not "shop around" with other guys while you're with him. It's a really crummy thing to do. If you feel tied down and unable to pursue opportunities then it's probably safe to say you two should at least take a break now. In my experience that feeling only worsens over time.

 

Good luck.

[bostonbruins44]

I think you should go with the good looking lawyer.There is a very good chance he is interested.

[Allyo]

It does sound like this environmental lawyer is interested in more than just inviting you to meetings. But if you want to end the long-distance relationship you should do it based on its own merits (mood swings, etc) and not "shop around" with other guys while you're with him. It's a really crummy thing to do. If you feel tied down and unable to pursue opportunities then it's probably safe to say you two should at least take a break now. In my experience that feeling only worsens over time.

 

Good luck.

 

I know, I felt a little guilty about the whole encounter because I felt so interested in this other guy. But I also think I wouldn't be feeling this way if I wasn't having doubts about my relationship.

 

With my boyfriend we have an incredible connection in person, and I have never had such a good time with anybody! But we have differences in communication. Even though we are long distance, he is okay with talking maybe 1-2 times a week. He feels like we have more to talk about when we do talk and that talking every day isn't healthy. I would prefer to talk more, even if it is just 5 minutes a day. When I have brought up how I feel and how much I miss him during the week, his response is kind of just like 'Well that is just how I am...' And I believe him, but I feel like the dynamic of our relationship has changed for the worst, at least for me... And apart from that, I sometimes just feel like I am walking on eggshells with him. I know he cares about me, but he gets stressed out and just seems to get angry so easily sometimes... and that didn't happen when he was here closer... so I am confused!

[Hikapo]

You like the lawyer obviously. He is the BBD

 

Time to jump ship.

 

Don't be surprised if the lawyer has many women by his side.

[Allyo]

You like the lawyer obviously. He is the BBD

 

Time to jump ship.

 

Don't be surprised if the lawyer has many women by his side.

 

BBD? I'm not familiar with that... What does that mean?

 

Ohhh no, I don't even want to think about the other women yet... hehehe...

[Hikapo]

BBD = Bigger Better Deal

 

From your post I can tell you want to date this guy. Just break up with your boyfriend. If things don't work out you can always go back if he takes you back.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

Did you ever stop to think that your bf is getting so frustrated with you these days because he too is dealing with temptation and isn't so sure about this long distance thing? He might feel guilty about it and have a hard time communicating what he really feels to you the way you are feeling guilty and not sure what to do. It's hard to maintain a budding romance when there is a lot of distance. You need that almost daily contact, the touch and feel of the other person for the bond between you to grow. Maybe long distance isn't the kind of relationship for either of you and its time you both admitted that.

[Allyo]

Did you ever stop to think that your bf is getting so frustrated with you these days because he too is dealing with temptation and isn't so sure about this long distance thing? He might feel guilty about it and have a hard time communicating what he really feels to you the way you are feeling guilty and not sure what to do. It's hard to maintain a budding romance when there is a lot of distance. You need that almost daily contact, the touch and feel of the other person for the bond between you to grow. Maybe long distance isn't the kind of relationship for either of you and its time you both admitted that.

 

That thought crosses my mind... I'm sure he is in the same position as I am, as he is also an attractive guy. I would be okay with a long distance relationship in a "new" relationship... but I guess I feel like a lot of contact is necessary to keep and grow the bond. In my case I just feel like the bond is dwindling with my boyfriend. A lot of that I'm sure is due to his communication style, but I don't want to change him either.

 

It is kind of ironic that at first he was the one hesitant about a long-distance relationship. Eventually he decided it was worth it. Now I somehow feel like the tables have turned, and I am the one who is more hesitant... Yet the distance has given us a lot of perspective. I realize that maybe I don't want to be with him anymore, especially considering his communication style. I get upset and frustrated too, but in a way I feel like I handle things differently and am "beyond that" and more mature about handling problems...

 

And now that we've been together almost a year, I guess that it the same you start seeing these little sorts of things that you were blinded to before by love.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

I personally think that a little time apart can make people miss each other and appreciate each other a bit more. But too much time apart can cause the feelings to start to die. You need to have someone physically around that you can hold and get affection from and give affection to. That's hard to duplicate just by chatting with each other even if it's everyday.

[FreakAndUnique]

It would be better to decide on your relationship first before deciding if to get jiggy with a lawyer. Because otherwise you could get in a very sticky situation where you feel you have to dump your boyfriend in a hurry.

 

But lets be honest here - people often meet another person while in a relationship. It just depends on how messy it will get.

[Hikapo]

Don't you think you don't seem to like him as much as you think you do?