want him back - loves me, but doesnt call. what do i do?

[Phoenix_girl]

I posted her a few days ago under breaking up (see We're on a break - what do i do??). For those who havent read it heres a breif recap - my bf of one year told me last week that we needed a break. This was after 2 weeks of not hearing from him and me trying to give him his space. He says he loves me and that he needs to sort his life out. I havent talked to him since and im not sure what he means by a break. Ive talked to a lot of people and everyone seems to have their own idea. I dont really remember the conversation with my bf - i was incredibly upset. About the one thing that i do remember is that he said he still loves me.

I want him back - how do i do it without pushing him away?? I love him with all my heart and want to spend my life with him. I still consider him my bf and i am still faithful to him. He said that he doesnt plan to look for anyone but that if one of us finds someone else then we shouldnt feel hindred to pursue it. he said if i wanted to i could still consider him my bf but he didnt know if he still considered me his gf. I get the feeling that he doesnt want this "break". I want to get him back soon....i miss him a lot. I know i need to talk to him about this situation cause i dont think he has really looked at all possible ways of keeping our relationship alive (we are long distance and hes always come to see me, but i am more then willing to go to him).

Bottom line - how do i get him back?????? Should i tell him i want to spend my life with him?

[cruuk]

Right now the last thing he wants is that kind of pressure. Im sure he knows exactly how you feel about him so try and resist the urge to tell him how much you love him every second you get.

 

Instead keep any conversation/contact you have light and happy. If he wants to bring up relationship stuff thats great but you should try not to. I would say don't go see him without him knowing about it, it will just seem like you are pressuring him once more. If he would like you to come thats a good thing.

 

You will find many on here are going through the same kind of thing. Nobody knows the answers and every situation is different but most of the advice you will read is pretty level headed.

 

If nothing else feel free to vent how you feel. Much better to do it here than to him. Everyone here supports everyone else.

[jopo]

yea i agree, just email him, cause that message has more of a chance of getting answered then just waiting for him to get online. I too have had relationaships with girls online, and they do come and go, just keep positive and maybe look for a guy who lives near you. I mean i know that you miss this guy, but sometimes there might not be much that you can do.

[Phoenix_girl]

Keeping my emotions under control is a hard one for me. Growing up i was never allowed to express emotions and i am still learning to control them. As for going to see him, i will only go if he wants me to. Im not the type (though i have thought about it) to just show up.

I guess right now i jsut need to know what he means by a break. in the past week i have heard so many definitions that i have gotten all confused about it and i am having a hard itme remembering my conversation with him.

I dont want to be selfish, but i know thats exactly how i am acting.......i think. Sometimes i think i am just confused as he is right now.....not to mention lonely.

I found out some bad news today - the infection i had last summer may have returned. my bf got me through it the last time and i dont think i could go trough it alone a second time........

I guess i just have to try and be patient, but my worst fear is that he will forget about me and i will loose him forever.

[Phoenix_girl]

Well it been 2 weeks since i talked to my bf. I have sent him the odd message ect, but ive been pretty good about giving him his space. Anyway, i saw him sign into his MSN tonight and i had a computer question so i messaged him........and he responded. I was soooo happy. He helped me for a few min and then said he had to go. Im not sure if its a good sign or not. any thoughts??

[Phoenix_girl]

well i am definitely learning to be patient. The only reason i messaged him last night was cause i am a dunce with computers and he is a tech-whiz. Anyway, another situation has come up. last summer i was really sick with an infection and my bf was really supportive and really worried about me. If it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have made it - he gave me the strength. Anyway, recently i had blood work doen cause ive been feeling kind of blah and it could be that the infection is coming back. I have to have more follow up work done. If it is the infection, should i tell him??

[Phoenix_girl]

its official - my infection has returned and i will be starting treatment again (oh joy). I am still undecided about whether i should tell my bf or not. last summer was a bad and pretty lonely and hard time for me and if it wasnt for him i dont know what would have happened. and this time around may be worse

What do i do??