Is my fear irrational?

[ImGrowing]

I'm about 99 percent over my recent break up in July. A friend of mine, who is also a friend of my ex, has been wanting to hang out. He actually wanted to talk to be before my ex and I got together, and admitted that he still does. But, I told him that I'm not ready and he respects that.

 

I'm just afraid to hang out with him, because I don't want him to end up hating me, if I don't want to take things any further. Another guy I was talking hated me, because of that. I want to hang out "as friends" but I don't know if that's ever possible. Usually, someone gets hurt.

 

I'm afraid to spend time with him. Is my fear irrational? what do you think about it all?

[ForumGuy]

Not irrational at all. You have probably dealt with it before and know what can happen. There is definitely a risk in hanging with someone who is looking for more from the friendship than you are.

[dr_loomis7]

No, this fear is not irrational. I would say if you are going to hang out with him, let him know where he stands in terms of anything more than friends and set the boundaries from the start. If feelings develop later on, so be it and if he doesn't respect that, it's on him.

[Jewels7]

I agree with Forumguy and dr loomis. I don't think it is irrational. Just be up front with him though. It doesn't hurt trying to be friends.

[genocide]

Your fear is definitely rational if you aren't ready for that type of thing, especially since he's already a friend. It's not like you would be leading him on.

[ImGrowing]

thanks for the feedback. They make sense

 

He already knows that I'm not ready to date again, but so did the other guy.

Sometimes, they think I'm just joking. lol

I already lost a good friend, because of this unrequited attraction.

I don't want to loose another.