DOES ANYONE KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS?

[Jyebo]

Hello,

 

I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of 2.5 yrs, her excuse being that the chemistry was no longer there and she didn't know what we could do to fix the problem.

 

What I was wanting to know is - Has anyone else else experienced this and been able to fix the problem? Even better - Has any females out there experienced this and figured out what was missing?

 

We have been broken up for 4 days now, and I have made no contact in 2 days. I know she loves me, enjoys my company and misses me, shouldn't this be enough to keep a relationship alive? I know some of you out there might be thinking of letting it go, but I will never find someone who I love as much, I've met lots of women and no one compares.

 

I am still having trouble eating and feel like being sick constantly. I am expecting a call from her today for my birthday, and after reading all the posts on her about this sort of situation I have decided I am not going to bring up the relationship and keep the conversation up tempo and unthreatening. She told me when we broke up that she wanted to remain close friends, does this mean I have a good chance of getting back with her if I keep up the NC for a short time until i get my emotions back together, then try and interact with her the same way I did when we first started dating, would this help her to feel the chemistry again and get us back together?

 

Please respond to this post

[chai714]

Jyebo - my EXACT situation is the same as yours, except I had been with her for 5 years. Right now, I'm trying to do the NC thing, but it's literally tearing me up right now. From what I've read around this entire site, about 90% of the people advice NC.

Since you were together for over 2 years, it's not like she can just all of the sudden just stop loving you. Unfortunately, I can't say that she'll be back either. What I can say is from here on, your actions can dictate your chances of ever getting back together with her. It's what YOU do from here on out that will determine the outcome. You may have a 10% chance, you may have a 50% chance, or it might be 90. Whatever you do though, your actions will have an effect on that percentage. NEVER rule out anything, and if you're emotional like I am right now, it's probably best to implement NC. I hope this helps . . .

[konfuzed505]

I am a female and have actually broken up with someone for the same reason. He kept calling me occasionally and although I was glad to know that he still cared, part of me did not want him to call. It did not make me want him anymore, instead it was more of a guilt feeling I had for hurting him. It was when he STOPEED calling that I took notice... you mean he actually had a life outside of mine?.... the sun did not rise and set with me anymore... hold on a minute! Think of it this way --- have you ever had someone that was attracted to you, but you just weren't attracted to them back. No reason, they were nice and pretty, just not your type? It's kindof the same way. If she says the chemistry is gone, and you keep calling, that won't bring it back. Trust me. But let her see you out in public having fun with someone else, getting on with your life.... and she'll be wondering what she let go and why. When you are more independent and not looking like you have to call or even want to call, she will want you more. Not to say that she will call, she may not. But in the meantime, don't let your sun rise and set with her. Easier said than done though, I know... But coming from someone on her side, I think it will only make matters worse if you call.

[Jyebo]

Hi everyone,

 

She messaged me today, saying "hi, I know you may not want to hear from me, but i wanted to wish you a happy birthday and hope you have a good day" I messaged back "Thanks K, why would i not want to hear from you? How are you?" She messaged back that she was ok and asked what I got for my birthday, I messaged her back saying this was stupid and i'll just call her, if it was ok, she said it was.

 

So i called her, I tried to act like I was not still depply depressed, i think she did too, we spoke about the gifts i got and what had happened in the sport (as we're both big fans) and she told me she had spent the weekend at her parents. I kept it very up tempo and didn't mention anything of why she had broken up or if she would take me back etc. I think she appreciated it and we continued to speak for about 10 - 15 minutes. Her mother was there, and i said to say hello. She had mentioned to me that she had not taken any phone calls from her friends all weekend, despite one of them calling like 100 times. Overall the conversation was veyr pleasant, and i ended it by saying "i should probably let you go, as your mum is probably waiting for you" (as they were going to have lunch together). she said ok and we said goodbye, no talk of calling each other or meeting up, i'm not sure if this was good or bad either. We did however mention during the call that we were both going to a mutual friends 21st birthday in a few weeks, she told me not to stop myself from going because of her, so atleast i know that i'll be seeing her in a few weeks, which may give her some time to think about me and our relationship together.

 

I'm not sure if i feel better or worse after the call, as it made the breakup official as we were talking like friends and somehow makes me think that she might find it easier to move on now that she thinks i'm okay.. but atleast i got to speak with her, and make her feel comfortable with me and not have our last discussion in tears.

 

Does anyone have any advice to offer me now? I personally think i should leave her some time, or else she won't miss me, which i think is very important for us to get back together.. i'm not sure if i'm clinging on to hopes, because really how can you make someone you love feel chemistry for you again, when she knows you so well? I know i'm holding up right now because of the hopes i have of getting back together. She is so important to me, I'm really afraid i might do something which could hinder getting back together, i guess thats why i'm here

 

Thanks for your help everyone so far

 

Jyebo