My best friend is possibly pregnant!

[squirrley]

OK...My best friend of like 7 years came to me recently and told me that she thought she was pregnant. I took the news well...we discussed it and agreed to get her a pregnancy test (because if her parents found out they would go bonkers!) We took the test it came up negative. BUT here it is a month and 2 weeks after her last period and no period.

She concieved the child with a guy she doesn't love...it was sortof a "hit and run" if you will. he doesn't know...and there is ABSOLUTLY no way we are telling him. because if he knew he would want to marry her and he's not the type guy she needs to be stuck with for the rest of her life. and where I'm from...it would more than likely be the rest of her life or until the kid was out of the house. so thats 18 years of her life gone.

she doesn't want the baby...but i dont want to be the one to tell her to run off and have an abortion. Because..i do not think it's right, but i honestly do not know what i would do if faced with her problem.I dont know what to tell her, but i did tell her that I would be there for her no matter what SHE decides. Yet i know what i tell her will strongly influence what she does.

I am about to run myself crazy over what to tell her, and I also don't know how to tell her to quit sleeping with different guys! She's my best friend and I dont want to hurt her...but i'm scared that that's what i'm going to have to do. If anyone can give me some advice on how to break stuff like that to her lightly...please respond!

[ComputerGuy]

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Tell her your worried about her sleeping with different guys all the time, let her know how you feel, but be gentle about it. Assure her you don't think any worse of her or anything like that, and that it doesn't bother you, you're just worried.

 

As for what she should do about the baby, that's a choice only she can make, and all you can do is just be there to support her no matter what decision she makes.

 

Good Luck, I hope it all works out.

[secksy ecksy]

if i were her, i would give the baby up for adoption. even though i would rather like to have an abortion, i just couldn't imagine killing another human being. it would be like killing your best friend or your little sister or your boyfriend. its just..wrong. but this isnt about abortion views, its about your friend. if you two really are that close, you need to tell her how you feel. let her know that whatever her decision is, you will stay by her side.

good luck!

~X

[hurtabandoned]

First of all, she needs to take another pregnancy test. Make sure to follow the instructions carefully. If its negative again there may be other reasons why her period is late.

 

If she turns out to be pregnant it is up to her what to do about it. It's her life and she is the one that will have to live with the decision that she makes. Whatever she can be at peace with is what she should do. Just be there for her. That should be enough.

[Celadon]

Squirrley, it sounds like you are doing the right things -- being supportive of her and concerned about her future. There are several things you can talk to her about that will be helpful. First is that she needs to take another pregnancy test. She needs to know exactly what's going on with her health.

 

Second, yeah, if she IS pregnant she needs to know about her options. As you know, abortion isn't a simple way to "take care of the problem." There are bad psychological consequences. I know, a friend of mine had two abortions. Adoption wouldn't be easy either, but if she doesn't want to marry this guy, and she's not in a position to raise the child, there may very well be a couple out there who would love to adopt.

 

Finally, you are in the best position to talk with her about her sleeping around. Her parents won't talk to her about it (sounds like they don't know). And you care about her, so you can tell her that you're worried she'll get pregnant (if she's not already) or pick up some STDs that could be with her for the rest of her life. (Yuck!)

 

You can continue to be a great friend even though the situation probably seems overwhelming. I hope she realizes how much you care about her. Hang in there with her.