Help please

[SethSLC]

So I try and help others and offer any advice where I think I might have something healthy to offer on here, but at the same time I'm going through the same stuff everyone else is... So with that in mind I have a question.

 

My Ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. During that time since I work with her I was trying to continually take the high road. I was nice to her, polite and friendly. After about 2 months we had our final face to face talk which lasted about an hour. During that time she was angry, her posture was angry, and I did nothing but smile and talk politely.

 

During the conversation at the end she says to me "What would you say if I told you me and X (ex-best friend of mine who tried to take her years ago) were *hanging out*?". I told her that it was OK and it wasn't like I hadn't figured it out. She didn't seem to like that answer and got more angry and the conversation finished.

 

Well for the past month work has been more uncomfortable. I'm fine except if she's around. If I hear her or see her I get all awkward and quiet. I can't smile and be friendly towards her. It's not like I don't want to, it's just in the spur of the moment I lose the ability. I've still done some nice things for her like I bring her mail from my house that gets sent there, etc, and we've had the ocasional laughter at work moment.

 

So that being said there have been times where she'll say something to me in passing and I just keep walking by. I dropped my scarf yesterday as I was leaving the office area for a minute and she said something and I kept walking. After a bit I said, without turning around, "I'll get it when I come back".

 

Today we were sending office emails back and forth about a pot-luck for Xmas and who should volunteer to bring what. I volunteered to bring the main meat dish since no one had. She replies to my email with her own meat dish she was bringing so I figured no biggy I would just do a desert. As I walked outside to grab a smoke I saw her walking in and smiled at her and asked if she got my email? She got angry and said no and kept walking. I said well I saw you were bringing a meat dish so I changed mine to a desert instead and she says "So what I don't care, do what you want!" and stormed into the building. I was puzzled by her anger and so was my friend who watched it.

 

I come inside to the following IM:

 

How did you like it when I spoke to you like that just now? It wasn't very nice. That's how you've been treating me at work when you even bother to acknowledge me when I try to say something for your benefit.

It sucks.

Let's try being nice to each other eh?

 

I haven't responded yet because I'm not sure how or if I should. I saw her as I went for coffee just now and she asked curtly if I got her message, I smiled and said I did.

 

I really, really, really want to respond with:

 

For the past 2 months or so after the breakup I was nothing but kind, and friendly towards you. You proceeded to do nothing but blow that off and not respond in kind. You then said things that I can assume were said only for the sake of hurting me in an attempt to get me to behave the way you had expected me to after the breakup. You are not a good person, and I don't want you in my life. I want you to hurry up and graduate and move so that I can forget you and forget I was with you. The past month has been hard on me. Seeing you and being around you at work makes me uncomfortable and it is painful.

 

Or something to that affect.

 

How would you respond? Would you respond?

[Maroney555]

I wouldn't respond to her. She seems like an immature, bratty child who is merely seeking attention. She is providing nothing constructive to your working relationship. If you have been as civil to her as you said you have been, then she is just playing games with you to get a rise.

 

Don't respond. Ignore her. You will get better results that way and she won't drive you as crazy Good luck.

[SethSLC]

Ignoring her~

[Maroney555]

Keep it up Seth!

[Jocolly]

I'm not sure any good would come of explaining things, as it seems she already has decided she is the victim. Just continue to be civil and curtious, but not at the expense of your own feeling.

Good luck xx