My buddy just found out his gf has been cheating on him. Advice for him?

[byates5637]

SO my best friend has been seeing this girl for close to a year now. She really was a terrible girlfriend, and not that good of a person in general. For a while she has been very shady. She ignores his call, dissapears when they have plans, and shows up at his house drunk at 4AM alot. He also told me she recently locked her phone so he couldn't get to it.

 

I've long suspected she has been cheating on him, and I told him a few times but he was always in denial. She is very pretty and has a lot of charisma so I suspect he was a bit blinded. I never pressed the issue with him cause I never thought it was really my place.

 

They also work at the same resturant. He is her boss. They have had to keep their relationship secret at work which I always thought was really weird. Well there relationship finally got exposed at work, and it turns out she was also dating another guy that works there. My buddy just found out....like an hour ago.

 

I'm going over his house tonight with a bottle of whiskey (his request) to make sure he's alright. He just told he he talked to her and she is denying it...and it sounded almost like he is going to believe her. He's generally not a naive guy...but he certainly is being one now.

 

So what should I tell him? I need to get it into his head that she was DEFINITELY cheating so he doesn't believe her BS....but I don't want to make him feel worse. What to do?

[Rally]

Please beg him to leave his girl. And don't let him drink so much..

 

Tell him to at least take a "break" from his girl so he can assess whats happening.

[Jd1983]

This is a good reason why sometimes it's not good to "s**t where you eat".

 

I think it's really ballsy of her to go out with 2 guys at the same restaurant and actually think that she wouldn't get caught doing so.

 

Honestly, I would be straight up with him and tell him that he has to man up and accept things as it is. Don't fall for her trap and don't be naive on thinking that she's innocent. Tell him that you care about him as a friend and hate to see that he'd be willing to put up with her bs.

[lavenderdove]

He needs to break up with her... she is not only cheating, but is very arrogant about it dating someone else that works with the both of them.

 

I'd tell him not to turn it into a big scene since he is her boss and theory she could file a sexual harassment suit against him or make trouble if he makes a big deal about it.

 

he should just calmly tell her that he's thought about it and decided it is best for them not to date at all since he is her boss and that gets complicated... don't make any cheating accusations, just let it go. If she does try to bring suit against him, then he can bring evidence she is sleeping with others there too, so just tell him to gather his evidence then quietly break it off with her.

[gottogeton]

Tell him you support him getting rid of her and call the other guy to confirm if he is leaning towards believing her. Also tell him that to stay with her would devalue your opinion of him because you believe him to be more intelligent. You didn't speak up with you thought that keeping it 'secret' was weird and look where that got him. BE A FRIEND SPEAK NOW.

[Positive_Anonymous]

Its got to be either black or white, sounds the way you are describing her that she is a total loser, so I would make him see this and to dump her completely! Whats the point in dating an attractive looking person if they aren't attractive on the inside? doesn't sound like there is any future here so he needs to cut his losses sooner rather than later.

[arcadefire]

You need to be a voice of reason and truth. He's in denial because that's definitely a stage everyone goes through when they go through betrayal. Tell him he can do better, bring up his confidence and self-esteem, and basically call that girl out. She's unworthy of him.

[Ms Darcy]

It sounds like he's had good reason to leave long before this but stayed because she was pretty. My advice is to tell him not to be blinded by beauty again.

[byates5637]

Wow last night was crazy. When I showed up he was still sort of in denial. He was saying he believed her and it didn't happen, etc. I convinced him to dig a bit deeper so he called around and ended up finding out for a fact she was dating the other guy for several months as well. He lost it for a bit...smashed his house up. Poor guy. I think he's doing better today though.

[Positive_Anonymous]

Onwards and upwards from here! Better to know sooner rather than later!

[Yaz]

Dump now. Cheaters aren't worth it.

I can deal with pretty much anything except this - cheating is the lowest thing to do in a relationship. That I can think of now.