My husband is demanding, over-exaggerating, & uncooperat

[LAO]

My husband has a very high sex drive to the point where he is obsessed! I must have about 25+ different types of lingere in my dresser drawer (I'm not complaining mind you but it seems alittle much). We have sex around 2x's /week which is not enough for him as he has told me on numerous occasions (although he CLAIMS it's only around 2-3 x's /month)! He works a very stressful job, both physically and emotionally and I work 2 part-time jobs (one during the day while our son is in kindergarten and 1 at night 5 days/week). So, needless to say, we are busy and tired! However, the current love-making time frame isn't enough for my husband and he wants more. He seems to only "touch me" when he comes home from work when I have to leave for my job, so I have to ask him to stop or I will be late. He then gets very upset w/ me and won't talk to me for a couple of days. I know exactly what is bothering him, but when I ask, he always uses the excuse the he is just tired, to avoid confrontation. He then becomes depressed and withdrawn as he feels rejected at the fact that I don't want him!

 

I can't understand how I can make him happy, the way he wants, especially w/ our child in the same room! I'll tell him we can "play" later when I come home, but when the time comes for us to go to bed (after watching some television together to unwind), he simply rolls over and ignores me. I tell him this "game" he is playing is a very big turn off for me and his demanding sexual drive is making me feel like sex is turning into a job for me to fulfill, not a pleasure.

 

He states that I only inititate an interest about twice a year (another huge exaggeration), and if he doesn't give it to me when I want it, then he thinks there's "h** to pay"! He calls me selfish, not understanding of his feelings, and thinks I should sacrifice myself to his desires even if I don't want to because that's what marriage is about.

 

I don't believe marriage should be about sacrifice of one's own feelings but of compromise. He doesn't open up, because yeah, I get upset to hear him exaggerate, so he clams up. I get frustrated, turned off, and just wish there was an easy solution.

 

I love my husband very much and wouldn't be where I am today without him. He is a good father, and thinks of me often as I do of him. However, we seem to be at a stale mate and he doesn't see my point of view very well, and has a different story to tell w/ his. His general frustration and sarcasm is becoming extremely unattractive and turning me off bigtime! It seems that when we started off almost 7 years ago, we had less money, we were happier, and we certainly had more sex!

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

 

Sincerely,

Frustrated in NH

[owlman]

After your child goes to bed, turn off the TV! Light a couple candles, get some wine and do what comes naturally.

There, that's my "simple" answer.

I agree, sex shouldn't seem like a chore. You know, I might even suggest some couples counseling. Couldn't hurt, right? There may be a deeper issue here.

[LAO]

Been there, always do that especially on the weekends when we both spend more then a few minutes together! We or at least I treasure those moments, however, it doesn't seem to be enough! My husband is back on the complaining wagon a mere couple of days later!

 

He constantly looks on the web for books, porn, etc. thinking that will help and I am just not into that.

 

I understand that male testosterone can build in a man's system and cause severe overload, but honestly, does it need to be released on a daily basis for regularity?