The Tables Are Turned, Now I Have Taken the Power Back!

[fasthackm]

My hard work and a little bit of 'magic' on the computer have payed off. I have taken any power I unknowingly gave to her at the time of our breakup, back! Now she is wondering, "hmmm, he's obviously happier now that I'm gone. I WONDER who he's seeing and what he's doing, will I ever see him again?" A clip of this a.m.'s dialogue between Jen and I on FB:

 

(Jen): Well that's the last place I thought I would run into you, lol. I hope you are doing well

(Me): Jennifer, I have a hard time understanding what you mean sometimes. Please clarify what you mean by running into me, where? I'm trying to think of maybe you ran into my name on some dating sites, but I must tell you I am not current on any of them. I let them all expire months before I found you again, but please tell me where it is you ran into me. Besides, that conflict and the internal battles have left me, now that I've found the only real peace that one can find and you know where that is, right? If I am right and you did run into me on a dating site that you ran into my expired account, may I ask why you are there when you told me you were taking time out to 'find yourself' and 'you have to learn to make yourself happy instead of relying on a man to'?? I thought you were gonna focus on your relationship with Jesus Christ? As for me I'm on this frame of mind.... "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto thee". I can't do both at the same time, seeking J.C. and some 'chick'. J.C. comes first and then i know he will bring me into meeting a beautiful angel of a wife.... I hope I find you in good spirit. One other thing, always listen to the spirit within you and don't do want you wanna do or what others are telling you to. Peace girly

(Me): One other thing, if you are ever having a hard time, if you are ever sad and in despair, you have a 'long forgtotten friend' named EDR, always be aware ........ (of this You can talk to me if you want

(Jen): What makes you think I'm doing something others are telling me to do?

(Me): Are you going to answer my ?'s Jennifer

(Me): I'm asking politely, please

(Jen): You are on Eharm and we were matched, I was only there because I wanted to see what all the hype was no other reason

(Jen): There was a lady that came into the office one day going crazy about it and the girls thought I should ck it out so I did

(Me): Eharmony!! How funny, that account expired a month and a half before I found you again. Your account remains (evidently), just in case you ever start paying them again... Did you actually join, like pay them $ to join?

(ME): ...... I'll have to go look at it, how funny

(Jen): Unfortunately I did, I had to cancel my Paypal account to get out of it

(Me): So you got a refund then, I hope you did because almost all the dating sites I was apart of then really 'suck'. But what I don't understand is why you joined in the first place when I thought you were,,,, well can u explain?

(Me): Well hey, gotta run, gonna go have coffee with a friend.... Remember you can write me anytime

(Jen): A friend this early hmmm

[1guygirl]

when we take power back it is about empowering ourselves, taking our life back and not 'winning' in silly games with our exes. You are free to be on a dating site, as is your ex, but you turned her being quite ok and upbeat and friendly with you into point scoring and trying to make her jealous. yes we all secretly think that will be our moment, but when it inadvertenly happened to me, i didnt want to hurt my ex or make him jealous and feel like crap...i actually wanted HIM to meet someone and be happy and loved and be in something more stable than us. Now that for me was my loving empowering moment, I hope you get to that point also

 

let go in love

[fasthackm]

that's a very good point. I've always wondered just what it is that some girls wish upon their ex in a breakup... I'm sure that Jen nifer only wanted me to be happy, but it was so painful for the both of us to part ways. As for me, honestly.... I wanted Jennifer to miss me terribly, to cry everday because she made a mistake, to wonder about me when she laid in bed at night and to cry herself to sleep. That's selfish, yes I know, hey I'm being honest. Any guy that says he only wants the girl to find happiness in someone else is full of it!

[1guygirl]

well i was honest, i wanted my ex to regret breaking up with me and all the rest of it. he in past has said (in other break up with me) that he hoped i would also find someone who made me happy...i get the feeling when i did actually go out and date this time round, he wasnt really happy about it...so you could be right!!

 

still datings not for me, ive decided to pull back from that, they all just made my ex seem even more amazing...but thats another story....

[bar35]

I hate to tell you this, but you have not taken your power back, because you are still using your energy toward manipulating the relationship. The reacquisition of power is only attained through the actions that you take to distance yourself from your ex. It usually doesn't happen in one moment, like the chat you had. What you experienced was a power rush, but unfortunately it just like getting high, and I hope that you do not crash too hard from it.

 

Believe it or not, I do hope that my ex's, all of them, have found somebody who makes them happy, helps them to grow and fills their needs in the way that we were clearly not meant to. However, it has taken me years, massive personal struggle, and intense dedication to personal growth, to achieve that mind. Many people will mire the rest of their lives in jealousy, fear and resentment. Be careful what you identify as personal power and what may actually just be a power trip.

 

That being said, it's also ok to get a jump ahead there, and if it feels good, and feels right, then run with it too. Sorry if this brings mixed messages, but that is life, contradictory and confused.

[Hopelives]

I did not read that as taking the power back either - it sounded snarky, insecure, demanding, and ... weird.

 

If this is a woman you truly care about, the next time you "run into" her on FB or in RL, be more discreet and friendly.

 

THAT is taking your power back because your action says she cannot hurt you anymore (despite that she may actually be able to).