She just told me to "call whenever"

[matchboxman]

Been broken up with my ex-gf for 5 weeks (she ended it, she's got a year of college left and wants to "enjoy" herself).

 

We've left open the possibility of getting back together once she "gets into the real world and is ready to settle in" if we're not seeing anyone by that time. She's 21 and I'm 23 and we'd been together for 1.5 years.

 

I left her a message yesterday knowing that our cell phone bill came in (we share a plan, I know probably not the greatest idea.) Just left her the message and told her I hope everything was going ok with her new job and stuff.

 

She called a little while ago and we talked about small stuff (her job, my new dog, etc.) but nothing relationship wise.

 

At the end she told me to "call her whenever I want if I'm bored." I told her we'll see and that I'm not really bored much (totally not the truth). Then she said "Well then maybe I'll call you because I'm bored a lot." I just said alright we'll see then said bye.

 

Should I be alright with her calling often if that's what she's going to do? Our breakup wasn't nasty or anything at all and we still get along, she just wants to basically test the waters (although she hasn't used those words herslef, that's exactly what it is). We also live 2 hours apart (met in college) so stopping by each other's house or meeting up isn't an option. It'd be strictly phone calls.

[Beec]

First questions first: what do you want? Once you know that, then you can think about how to get there.

 

Warning: This reply is coming from one of those who is going to advocate you doing things to try to affect her feelings; if you want her, I am all for manipulating her to want you. We have only limited powers in this regard, but you might as well try to get what you want.

[matchboxman]

First questions first: what do you want? Once you know that, then you can think about how to get there.

 

Warning: This reply is coming from one of those who is going to advocate you doing things to try to affect her feelings; if you want her, I am all for manipulating her to want you. We have only limited powers in this regard, but you might as well try to get what you want.

 

I want her back is what I want. But I also know that with 2 months to go before school starts, if we get back together now she'll be itching to test the waters again when school begins.

 

As an added layer to this, she just called me like 10 minutes after I got home from work at 1 a.m. She's really having troubles with her cat (don't ask) and she "knew I'd be up and didn't know who else to talk to"

 

I told her to keep me posted on the cat and to let me know what happens. She also let a "hunny" and "dear" slip during our convo but I think that could be attributed to her being tired more than anything so I'm trying not to read much into it.

[Beec]

You want her back, so then you need to figure out how to get her back.

 

But school presents a problem, because she is not going to want a serious long-distance boyfriend, when she is at school with other guys available, in which she might be interested.

 

This presents you with a choice: A. Go try to get her and keep her for as long as you can despite the distance issue; or B. Try to make so even if she is testing the waters, you are in a position, in her mind, where she wants you in the end.

 

Read some of my posts. Look at my description of why we go for those we go for. Think about it and think about how you can have an effect on her emotionally, how you can make her feel special. Those are the first things you need to see,.