difference between an ex who wants to be friends and an ex that dont?

[ned2010]

is one a better sign then the other? my ex dumped me and didnt want to be friends

[byates5637]

really depends on the situation. Why doesn't she want to be friends? DId you do something very wrong to her? Maybe she still has feelings for you and needs the time alone to sort it out. Or maybe she feels you need space to heal. Or maybe she just really doesn't want you in her life anymore. It's hard to say without more info.

[petite]

Not necessarily. The one that wants friendship could easily be over their ex and feel they are in a good place to be friends. Just because they offer friendship does not mean anything will be rekindled. As for NC, it is meant to help you heal and possibly move on.

[ForumGuy]

We will need to know why you broke up and just a brief history. Sometimes people don't want to be friends because they still love you in romantic way and can't handle the friendship (not likely this case since he dumped you). Sometimes they don't want to be friends because they either don't like you straight out, or are mad as hell about something.

[ned2010]

basic history is i known her years, but we only dated a month because i think long distance bothered her

 

we fell out alot in the last few years but somehow we always got talking again and got very close

 

she had a crush on me when we first met in 2007, and i was hung on some other girl so it hurt and upset her that i never noticed her, which proberly made her want me more

 

we had momments of she would be all over me, lovey dovey, then get bored go cold and distant and ignore me for weeks, then we talk again and she be all soft and seem like she missed me

 

i remember once she said look we can only be friends and thats all, and i said ok lets be friends, then she changed her mind and said she didnt want to be friends, this was a few months before wer got together

[Jocolly]

Again, as already said:

 

Could be because she finds it too difficult to be around you due to still having feelings for you

or

Because she wants to move on.

or

She is confused and doesnt know what she wants

then get bored go cold and distant and ignore me for weeks,

But due to her inconsistant behaviour, I would advise you to weigh up the pros and cons of being involved with this lady if she is going to continue to play games with you.

 

Good luck

xx

[ned2010]

well i know she talks to other ex's still, but she seems to get angry at me for just talking to other girls, i always found it odd that she told me many times she dont care about me, but then shows jealousy which turns to anger and bitterness, and in desperation she deletes me claiming she hates me

 

yeah she dumped me

[Jocolly]

What does your gut tell you? Because usually (subcontiaously atleast) we can have an idea of the answers our self.

You still havent really provided enough infor for anything other than educated guess so far x

[The_Seeker]

is one a better sign then the other? my ex dumped me and didnt want to be friends

 

When my ex broke up with me, I went straight away to Strict NC, and didn't want to be friends with my ex at all.

 

The reason is because my ex was pretty pathetic not trying to work things out. Even if he didn't want to, could of just broke up with me instead of dragging it out. Stupid dating rules he's following. So I ended. So, no he doesn't deserve any friendship in the near future. If we reconcile, it will be for a while. I think he and I should date other people so we don't go to each other and say stupid things to each other. Seeing how people these days are like that, I'm going t make sure I have my options always.

 

Anyway getting to the point of your question, my friend stayed friends with her ex. My god seeing how she went through made her worst. She still is. She couldn't handle it when he got 2 girlfriends after her. But she still stuck by being his friend.

 

If you can handle the friendship without going emotionally, then go for it.

 

If you can't, it's either because you want to move on or you have the guilt.

[ned2010]

my gut tells me she still cares, but i have this fear im wrong, i mean i know she is very extremely stubborn but as time goes by i start to feel maybe she actally glad im gone

 

i mean we dated briefly last year and she went distant and funny 2 days after and basically did the same thing she doing now, to the point where she pushed me away, then few months later she was all over me again, maybe she dont know what she wants as said

 

to be honest i dont know what to tell you, im pretty confused about it myself, when we was together she was cute and sweet and all over me, 2 days after we split she pushed us into an argument, and started saying horrible things and said she loved someone else (but he didnt share same feelings in the end)

[The_Seeker]

my gut tells me she still cares, but i have this fear im wrong, i mean i know she is very extremely stubborn but as time goes by i start to feel maybe she actally glad im gone

 

i mean we dated briefly last year and she went distant and funny 2 days after and basically did the same thing she doing now, to the point where she pushed me away, then few months later she was all over me again, maybe she dont know what she wants as said

 

to be honest i dont know what to tell you, im pretty confused about it myself, when we was together she was cute and sweet and all over me, 2 days after we split she pushed us into an argument, and started saying horrible things and said she loved someone else (but he didnt share same feelings in the end)

 

To be honest, we can't figure out what our ex is really thinking and wanting. Seeing too much of a flake and a flipper.

 

If you believe you are a good person and a partner, then move on. The less you care, the less you feel and think about her, and start focusing what you want and think how you want your relationship with a person, you will be better off.

 

I used to think my ex is amazing person. I only focused on the good qualities. I can handle his bad qualities if we talk it out and move on. Apparently, my ex couldn't My ex had the GIGs. I'm going to give him all the GIGS he want. For me to do this, I'm going to date other people and move on.

 

What I'm telling you is to move on. Your ex is the one who needs to catch up with you. You are no longer going to try to compromise with her when you did try to work on the relationship and all she gives you a cold shoulder distant action. You don't need that and you prob did or didn't deserve that. So have some respect for yourself and let the ex who fell out of love do the contacting.

[ned2010]

i dont think she is an amazing person, i know she has her flaws, but i care about her for her, so its hard

 

i am a good person and she knows im a good person, maybe thats what makes it so hard, i proberly done more then any guy for her