Lost Everything

[loneylostboy]

I am having the most difficult time in life. As a brief overview of my life here it goes.

 

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for the past year and a half, and we were engaged to marry on May 29th. However the week before the wedding she called me while i was at a meeting and left me a voicemail said she didnt love me, she was only with me for the attention and that I could never be the person she was looking for.

 

After that I pretty much lost all motivation to do anything in my life. I lost a really high paying job as a result of this, and as a result of no job I lost my apartment. None of my friends or family seem to support me despite the fact they know what i am going through. It is completely incomprehensible to me how someone could beg to hangout with you, huggin you and kissin you and tellin you they are so happy and in love with you, and less than 24 hours leave you after so much has been forged. I do not have the ability to turn off my emotions with the flip of a switch, I still very much love this girl. But it has been 2 months and no communication. I cry every single day becuase all i ever asked god for in prayer was for a family of my own. And now I live in my car with practically everything that was once good in my life ripped away. Suicide is constantly on my mind, I do not know any other option to take away the deep pain that I am in...

[Finch]

Sometimes life deals an unfair hand for people. You just have to accept the bad along with the good. Despite this minor setback you still have your whole life ahead of you. I understand why you feel this way, and honestly I would feel that way too.. but you can't let that feeling continue on your life.

 

True, being dumped by your future wife was probably one of the most harsh things you'll ever have to endure, but you can't let that decide how you are going to live the rest of your life.

 

You have more important issues to dwell on than anger, confusion, and suicide. There is so much more things that you can focus on.. positively, such as getting your job back, getting a place to live, and finding new people. Just indulge yourself in life and move on from this past anguish.

 

I know this might seem harsh, rather as a push of shut up and move on, however there isn't much you can do my friend. You can't turn back the hands on the clock so make the best of the future.

[Jefinner]

I agree with Finch. Not to sound cruel, but it sounds like she left you for good reason...it sounds like you are unstable (mentally) and were dependant on her. Not to make it sound like no big deal that your finance left you, but wouldn't you rather want to spend the rest of your life with someone who wouldn't do that to you? You should look at it as a blessing that the relationship ended now, instead of after being married and having WAY more financial baggage, not to mention maybe having kids in the picture...

 

First and foremost, you need counselling and perhaps drugs (don't laugh...they are there for a reason...everyone needs some help now and then) to help lift you out of the despair that you are in.

 

I have found "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns to be a very good read to help put things into perspective and help talk yourself out of the hole that you are in. Check it out.

 

Chin up...there is more to life than a woman.

[lonelynshy]

I respectfully disagree with you Jefinner. He is heart-broken after the loss of his love and that does not make him mentally unstable. Only a robot can go through such incidents without experiencing emotion. However I think he should talk to a counsellor or someone outside his family. I too was devastated after my first and only girlfriend of three years dumped me seven months ago. I was devastated. From January to April,I went through life like a zombie. Fortunately I got financial support from my family. And my feelings did get better. I cannot forget her,but I finally feel able to move on. lonelylostboy,if you feel like talking, private message me. or just respond in this forum. Don't kill yourself,it does get better with time. Been there,done that. If someone had told me this during my breakup,I wouldn't have believed it. But it's true,the pain does get numb with time.

[redsuede]

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Im sure that we all can relate right now to you, cause at least for me, that is why I am here. DONT KILL YOURSELF.. First of all, she said to you that she was only with you cause of the attention, which means you were good to her. This is her loss and she probley will see that one day, but that is no reason for you to sit around and hope. Go get your life back. What she did was HORRIBLE to you. I am sorry to hear that you lost your job over this.. First things first.. Try to get your life back in order, it will make you feel better. I know it hurts moving on without the one that you love, but really, that is the best thing to do.. Time does heal all wounds. The more you can give to yourself the better.. Also, watch what you are saying to yourself.. The more you say to yourself you miss her, you will. The more you tell yourself how much better off you will be and that you didnt deserve this, the more you WILL feel it.. Please keep us posted, we care!

[Dubz]

im sorry to hear that, this time will pass and u will get over her, u just have to focus on u now and getting ur life back on track, theres obviously someone else that u were ment to be with, its will take time to get over this girl but trust me u will, please remember that suicide is not the answer, ur problems will only follow ur spirit. i hope everything works out for you, take care.