Jefinner

Indeed. Much thanks for your sage advice. Mid-day move. ok.

You don't think that is cowardly or unfair to him at all? Like I said, I just want to make sure that I listen to myself this time and not give in to him and his needs.

I am needing some advice here. If one of my girlfriends were to ask me this question, I would say "easy, just tell him that you don't want to be with him anymore and walk." Easier said then done... I have been living with this guy for three and a half years. Things moved really quickly and, essentially, we are still on our first date. He just never left my house! One bad decision led to another, and in these almost four years, I have gone bankrupt (not entirely his fault, I will admit - but he certainly did not help), have gained LOTS of weight (thanks to my being unhappy and sitting on the couch watching T.V. with him all the time) and feel like I am starting from scratch again. This time, with him in tow. I thought that I would grow to love him because my head said that it was a good match, but that did not happen. Now, I feel like I just have to get away from him and focus on me for a change. Currently, we are living in his parent's basement, trying to save up money (no, not to buy a house like most couples - just to save enough money for a security deposit and first months rent!!) for the summer. I would bet dollars to donuts that come October 1, I will have money saved and he will have none. I am not sure how to break up with him, and what to say...a part of me just wants to get up and get ready for work one day, then move while he is at work and just be a coward about the whole thing...but he deserves an explanation doesn't he?? We broke up (no, it is not a common thing for us) just before deciding to move to his parents and I have seen no changes in him - silly of me to expect a man to change, I know - and he managed to convince me to stay with him then. I am worried that at the end of the summer, when I go to leave him, he will try to SUCK me back into the relationship by saying all the right things, and then just never following through... Advice anyone?

I agree with Finch. Not to sound cruel, but it sounds like she left you for good reason...it sounds like you are unstable (mentally) and were dependant on her. Not to make it sound like no big deal that your finance left you, but wouldn't you rather want to spend the rest of your life with someone who wouldn't do that to you? You should look at it as a blessing that the relationship ended now, instead of after being married and having WAY more financial baggage, not to mention maybe having kids in the picture... First and foremost, you need counselling and perhaps drugs (don't laugh...they are there for a reason...everyone needs some help now and then) to help lift you out of the despair that you are in. I have found "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns to be a very good read to help put things into perspective and help talk yourself out of the hole that you are in. Check it out. Chin up...there is more to life than a woman.