Online Dating

[jleon2003]

Hey, what's going on everyone? Was hoping someone could help me out with this. I work in the bar/club scene and haven't been able to find what I really want which is a good relationship with a good girl. I almost gave up on finding a well-rounded girl until a friend of mine suggested that I sign up for one of those online dating sites. My friend knew someone who had invested in one of them and he had heard good things about it from many ppl. Problem is, I've never done anything like this before! I was wondering if anyone here has had experience with sites like this and have any tips on how I should approach it. Does anyone know any sucess stories? Any input would be great. Peace.

[bri]

My fiance and I met through an online dating service and we feel we're a match made in heaven. We met after exchanging e-mails for about 10 days and we both fell in love after the first good-bye kiss on our first date. I was the first girl he met via internet and he was the 3rd guy I agreed to go out with. So it only took me two weeks to find the love of my life!

 

My sister met her boyfriend the same way and it seems so far they are doing great.

 

So, I believe it is a great way to meet new people.

[Val_76]

I have a friend that met his gf online with a dating service, that was 3 years ago and they're still going strong.

 

What he told me was that the free dating services are usually crap since a lot of people in there are only looking for fun. You can get some weirdo on these too 8) . The ones that pay for a dating service are more commited and more serious about finding a soul mate or a long term relationship partner. I would find a good one and pay for the service if I was looking for someone. Heard it works great.

 

Good luck.

[Scout]

I'm surprised that working in a social environment like clubs and bars hasn't led you to finding a girlfriend. How come?

 

If you choose to go the online route, be prepared to feel like you just landed on the Island of the Misfit Toys.

[Beec]

I've known of and had a little success using one. My last girlfriend and I met through one. Although, we have now broken up, it lasted for about one year.

 

Most of them will let you look and search profiles for free, even those that are pay. Check out the one that seems to attract more of the kind of women you are looking for, before you pick one.

[brokenpogostick]

My bf & i met online - but via yahoo chat. you can go in there and specify what state you are from & talk to people from your area.

 

Warning: there are weirdos out there & lots of those porn bot things, but if you dig deep enough, you can find someone cool.

[Beec]

One good thing about on-line services: just about every one on one is looking. Maybe some of them shouldn't be looking, but they are.

 

Another advantage, you weed out those to whom you just know there will no long-term realtionship. For instance, I know of those who will date but never really consider someone not of their faith, ethnic background, with a certain level of income or education, etc. On many you get to know what they are and what they want, so some issues are eliminated.

 

Of course, some relationships are successful despite the people going in to them thinking it won't work because of such things. But, I think the chances of success are higher when there are no or few such differences.

 

Look at sights that allow you to search for what matters to you.

[mtastic]

I like online personals and althought the only i've only gone out on dates with 2 people i met online (one of which being the much written about ex), I think its a good way of getting to introduce yourself. I think it takes some of the pressure off of meeting people as you can read a profile and find out at least one fact about their personality to break the ice, as opposed to meeting someone in a bar or club, where personally i have alot of throuble introducing myself. The drawback is that you have to be a patient with online dating, as you're sending someone an email they might take a day or 2 to respond to, as opposed to introducing yourself in person, where you will get a responce immediately from that person. Some sites also offer personality tests to, and will match you that way (link removed and eharmony being the big ones for that). This can be helpful provided the person took the test honestly.

i hope i helped, and best of luck to you,

mtastic

[SexySadie7]

I was just wondering. I see these online sites & notice most of the people have their pictures up there. One thing I am afraid of, though, is that, someone, like a pervert, will see my picture & then be after me, when that person has no interest in any actual relationship.

OKAY, to be totally honest, I've been afraid to get into an online dating service, cuz you really have no way of knowing, if what the person is saying is actually accurate, or even if the picture he posts is even of him.

Okay, I'm a little leery of strangers here, whew, i said it, lol.

I just met a fellow recently in person & then we talked for hours on the phone before we started dating & still there were a mightly lot of skeltons falling out of his closet, so to speak, lol, after we got together in person, that he never revealed on the phone, that had I known, might not have taken up with him because of.

So, if I cannot tell if that person will care about me over the phone, how on earth can I tell over the computer??

[Beec]

Sadie,

 

You cannot tell. That's why it is important to make sure your meetings are safe, until you feel you can tell. You know only meet in public places, don't give out your home phone, address, etc.

 

No matter if it is a blind date, you meet at work, a party, elsewehre or through the net, you don't know them until you meet and then begin to learn about them. Be a little careful, that's all.

[mtastic]

Beec is right, you really have no way of knowing in any situation where you meet people for the first time. I think for the most part people who post on internet sites are bieng honest, of course people may fudge a little detail here or there to make themselves look a little bit better, but people do that meeting in person as well. I'm sure there are people who might just see a picture and go after you just wanting sex, but then that happens with people in bars and clubs as well. The best thing is to not meet up with someone immediately, talk to them via email or instant message, then slowly progress to phone conversation when you're comfortable, and meet in person if you feel like they are genuine. Just like you would advance any other relationship: If you met a guy at a party, you wouldn't expect to go out with him the next day would you? I hope not, you'd talk to him on the phone for a few days to try to get to know him and figure out what he wanted right? Same thing applies here.

[Beec]

I may disagree with mtastic here. I am ready from the get go to get right to the telephone and then meet quickly. But that's me and it does not always apply. If there is nothing on the phone, then I won't bring up the idea of meeting. If we have a great talk for an hour, let's meet.

[SexySadie7]

You bring up a very valid point, mtanstic.

mtastic

 

Beec is right, you really have no way of knowing in any situation where you meet people for the first time. : If you met a guy at a party, you wouldn't expect to go out with him the next day would you? I hope not, you'd talk to him on the phone for a few days to try to get to know him and figure out what he wanted right? Same thing applies here.

[/qoute]Well, to be honest, that is what I had tried to do the last time I met a guy. We met at a club, talked on the phone for hours for several weeks, before we met again & started dating. We did make love pretty quick though, & I realize now that was a mistake. We made love on our 2nd date. I know that sounds bad, but he genuinely seem like a nice guy.

Who knows, maybe deep down, he is a nice guy, but he just got divorced about a year or so ago & wanted keep things "casual". Of course, he never told me he wanted that until after we became romantically involved. He promised to take me to all these great concerts & things, & several times I wasn't able to go with him cuz of work commitments, but i guess I want to say I'm gunshy now. YES, I know all men are not alike. But I guess what I'm saying is I kind of don't trust my own judgement now.

This Saturday nite I talked to him cuz I thought I saw his truck downtown & he told me was at the exact same nightclub we went to 2 days before to see this great concert we had seen on Thursday night. He told me he was going home with some girl!! Now, unless, he hooked up with her while we were at the concert, he's going home with a total stranger. Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe my feelings toward my lover or maybe i should say my former lover.

What kind of girl invites a strange guy to her house the first nite she meets him?

I had thought he was dating me cuz I was a safe & cautious girl. I know he was drunk, but really, dating a total stranger is pretty risky for guys too. Unless she was a nun, he doesn't know what she could have as far as social disease go. He is pretty reckless when using a condom too. I know he didn't want to use one when we made love. I have to assume he's that way to other women too. : (

[jleon2003]

Thanks for all the advice guys! Replying to someone's msg, I know most ppl. get confused when they find out that I haven't found anyone working in the bar/club scene. I know my boss, who frequently picks up women, has always "advocated" that I follow in his footsteps. While I have had chances for this, I really want a long-term relationship with someone who actually has a personality. Unfortunately, most of the women I meet at work care only about themselves. Another question, does anyone have a certain dating website that they would recommend? There's so many out there and I want to pick one that has a good rep with its customers. Thanx again.

[PAdreamer]

Personally, picking up people off the street or dating in my circle of friends never worked out very well for me. I've had a few online flings, and one very strong and steady relationship for six months now. He and I crossed paths in an AOL chat room. I got to visit him in June and it was awesome! Obviously, online relationships have their ups and downs like any other relationship.

[Double J]

The good thing about searching online is that yes - you are able to search based on a given criteria you have in mind. The thing is not to search for people based on purely superficial criteria; e.g. the girl has to have blonde hair. Focus more on personality aspects and eventually you are bound to meet someone with looks that complement their good personality.