emirii_pooru Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 **Note: Kinda long...but please give me advice.. In June 2002 my mother passed away and exactly 1 year and 5 months later my father remarried or in Nov. 2003. Weird thing about it, stepmom use to me my mother's caregiver. My mom had polycystic kidney disease and was real sick form the time I was 6-14 or the age I was when she passed. Me and my mother were very close and it hurt me that she had passed away, so manly I did what any normal kid that was depressed did. I ate my feelings. Which did not make my stepmom happy. I had gained about 50 or more pounds since my mother had passed and family knew it was depression. I just talk to them about how I felt and it helped a lot. My stepmom moved in only knowing my dad 3 months which they had not known each other like I said when she worked for us as a caregiver for my mom. She moved in and placed lock on all the doors including the fridge. It would not get unlocked till either one of them woke up and let us eat breakfast which was just cereal or eggs. Also me and my sister could not be in each others room, since we were accused of beating each other up. Which siblings do. We were written out lists on how to do things the proper way, which even though we knew how to clean a kitchen was the way our grandmother had taught us. Even shown how to do things we already knew. Like doing laundry which our mother had taught us. I mean I think 14 year old and a 10 year old could figure things out on their own. I mean me and my sister were known to be able to cook dinner for the family before she came around. I mean we felt we were being told that the way we had been taught was not right in her eyes and that my mother and grandmother where not good at keeping house. Guess my grandmother who has a nice looking home does not live in a rat hole that has too much crap in it like my step mom does. I mean for the 3 years I lived in the home with her. I felt like I was stupid and I would never amount to anything. I always felt that her children were better then me and my sister. I mean I know my sister married at 19, but you treat her like she is stupid. Also, just because I have struggle to get back on my feet since I lost my job 2 years ago and have been going to school, she thinks she can just tell me how I need to do things, when she and my father are asking his parents for money all the time and that she asking for money form other family members. Yet she says she use to be a respiratory therapist and has not worked in it for years and refuse to go back and take the test that could make them better money then they are making. I mean relaying on my fathers paycheck. I moved in again so I could save money to move to South Dakota to be with my boyfriend. Since moving in I have had all my food stapes they told me to get get used up for their food, which me and a friend who is also living with us has used all hers to get groceries. I mean they are taking what we have cooked and eating it and no allowing us a lunch tomorrow. Also eating the snacks that my friend can only eat cause of her medical condition. I have been told that going form a household of being completely unwanted to where we are telling them where we are going and they forget and getting mad just cause one of use ate something they were going to use. EVen though the person who at it had not had anything all day. To me I am not going to eat for the 6 days they need the food. I mean guess all the milk I have bought and also the eggs I have bought I am not allowed to eat. Guess it is there food and I am not allowed anything I have bought to snack on is theirs..... The reason why I am saying these things is the guy I am with could possibly become my fiancee or husband. I have felt so ashamed of my dad and step mother. My father and me were close before he married and it is know gone. I feel the reason why these things are happening to me are because I accused my stepbrother of molesting me when I was about 6-8 years old. When she worked for us. I mean he did this to me and my sister and I feel that I am a liar when it really happened. I hate when he sits by me I hate even being in the same room. I mean he did things and even says he never did those things to me. Yet I remember every detail about what he did. My sister talks about it, but you only get bits and pieces of it. I mean when you have a chnace to tell you everyitng she has done to me or how she has belittled me. You would wonder why she would treat someone's kids like this. I mean when she is in the room. I cant even talk about my mother. I have been wanting to not let my dad give me away when I get married. Do you think I should let someone else do it....Please help... Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Seriously, you need to get out of that house now. It's not a good environment for you in any way. As for your Dad giving you away - it's your wedding and you do it how you want. I'm not sure they have any claim on you, from what you've written here. Link to comment
turnera Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 I agree. Place an ad for sharing a cheap apartment somewhere while you finish school. Look into loans that will help you pay your rent; or move on campus with loans. And go to your school counselor and talk to them about the abuse. Link to comment
emirii_pooru Posted October 28, 2010 Author Share Posted October 28, 2010 I have a chance to move out with a possible friend, but it is kinda hard when sometimes we argues for stupid reasons. My boyfriend knows me and her get along, but we have a good and bad days. He said that if I was still living with my parents that he was happy she would be getting out so I would not have to deal with her. Yet now she is saying she does not want me to stay and so does my boyfriend. I have been praying about it. But I need some advice... Link to comment
turnera Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 You can control when and how you argue; that's part of growing up. If that's what is keeping you from moving in with this friend, talk about it with her first - agree to a hand signal, when one of you feels like an argument is coming on, like holding you hand up in the air - and you both agree to go to neutral corners and cool off, and talk later to resolve the issue. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 She locks the fridge?? You need to get the out of there, even if you have to work 2 jobs, have 3 roommates, whatever you have to do.... Link to comment
emirii_pooru Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 With this is it a weird situation. When growing up if you do not want to fight you just stop talking and let the other person realize that the argument is over, but with her he has to sometimes keep going in order to change the subject. I told her for me growing up I just walk away and have my argument with my self ad then go back into it from a different angle. We are getting along. I think with all the tension in the house it has made us argue more. Tonight my step brother came to me and said that I had a good deal with staying with them. I can't tell him the truth cause there are things that will be brought up that I dont want brought up. I just know that staying here I will be unhappy. I mean if I was unhappy 4 years ago it means it will be the same situation. We did get things done with the apartment. Put money down for it and paid the fee's. All I know is I am being pulled this way and that, but the way I am wanting to go. I see it is the best thing for me. I mean so much is going on in this house and I feel that getting out is the best thing. Link to comment
turnera Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Don't let what other people want dictate what YOU do in YOUR life. Link to comment
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