Why, am I a part of this ? :( Need Advice

[coolgirl]

I think I mentioned before that I have a guy friernd that we've been talking to over a month. We have not seen each other yet but just talk on/off as a friend and nothing more. So we talk on the phone and txt when we get the chance. He has a hective life and I do as well. We were set to meet up but got canceled. I am recently in therpy myself. Nothing is going on with him and I. Just 2 friends talking and thats about it. He had mentioned before that he has an crazy ex thats harrassing him and stalking him and currently there at war. These 2 have a kid together. Which I can understand.

 

I get a call from his ex the pyscho one that talked crap to me and got called a few names. Thinking that he and I were together. When were not. He was there for me as a friend when I was going through my rough time and supported me through out my mess but this isn't the kind of friendship I signed up with in the beginning. He's going through to much himself to bring up any of this.

 

And know I dont know what it is I want to do anymore. he was there as a friend for me, but I dont know if i can keep up with something like this at all while i'm in therpy myself. I dont want to be in the middle of anything. I dont know what to think at this point. I dont understand why there is so much complication with our friendship. It wasn't like this before but now its getting complicated and i'm stuck and not know how to go about this. I just dont know how to deal with this. I mean I cant even find the right time to talk to him. There's been a few misunderstanding. He calls me yesterday wanting to talk but right now I just dont know what to say just to lend an ear and just be supportive as a friend and not being able to give him a hard time while he's a war with his ex.

 

I swear I'm not okay. I thought I was but its taking a toll on me as well just cant bring it up to tell him either while he's in his mess with his ex. HELP I'm frustrated really am. Any word of adivce be really helpfull if anyone does reply put yourself in my postion and tell me how you would handel this kind of situation.

[Scorpion Fury]

When you're going through problems yourself, you should simplify your life as much as you can. You can't help him if you can't help yourself. I would just tell him that you are going through your own problems right now, and can't handle a complicated and stressful friendship right now. That you will call him once you get your own life a little more situated.

[HeartGoesOn]

Taking a step back, and excusing yourself from this situation would be the kindest thing to do for yourself. I would tell him that you value him as a friend, but this is not a good time for you, since you have a lot of stress in your life as it is.

 

How did his ex get get your number in order to contact you?

[coolgirl]

When you're going through problems yourself, you should simplify your life as much as you can. You can't help him if you can't help yourself. I would just tell him that you are going through your own problems right now, and can't handle a complicated and stressful friendship right now. That you will call him once you get your own life a little more situated.

 

You know I wish it was that simple. He was there when I was going through my difficult time with my own ex and talking to me and making sure that I get the proper help I need. He was well aware of my situation as well. And he even knows I'm in therpy myself. He apologized on his behalf this happened. And if I turn my back on him and needs a little support of going through a rough time what am I suppose to do? I dont want to look like an idiot and being blamed later on that he was there while I was going through my rough time and why I cant be there for him as a friend when he needs some support. He called my yesterday I just dont know how to keep calm, cool, collective. I swear this isn't the type of friendship I signed up for.

[coolgirl]

Taking a step back, and excusing yourself from this situation would be the kindest thing to do for yourself. I would tell him that you value him as a friend, but this is not a good time for you, since you have a lot of stress in your life as it is.

 

How did his ex get get your number in order to contact you?

 

She stold his phone from his unlocked car, when he asked her if she had his phone she lied and said no then I get a call coming from his phone number I hear a women's voice. Asked me who I am and a bunch of silly questions then goes off saying i'm his wife we've been married for 5 years, then goes off calling me a b.... I had it that day. I lost my cool and temper and just told him off. I im'd him. It gets complicated after that. He tells me that if I dont believe him then I talk to his mom. I'm like no I wont do that. He's a grown 36 year old man that has 3 kids. 2 from the first wife (divorced) and 2nd from this crazy psycho women. This is why I dont want to deal with other people's problems because there problems will eventually lead into my own personal issues. How in the world do you expect me to tell this man off at this point ? Because the problem is already there. And really dont know how to handel it.